Best of

Man, I miss guest posting

Try me.

You guys aren't going to believe the mistake I made setting the drinks out for guests!!

Roasting a chicken, except I accidentally bought a "hen", which I, at the time, thought was the same thing, and thus was left with a large poultry-looking item with the consistency of a rubber dog toy.

As in...

Not checking the expiration date on the milk jug before making mac and cheese.

Striking a pan of hot water so it knocks off the stove and scalds me on the back. Running - rolling, that is - to the bathroom to put cold water on my back and failing to make sure the control arm on my wheelchair was out of the way, causing it to be flooded and shorting it out, costing me $650.00.

Ha I was about to say.. "What the hell did you get rid of the fat for?!" and then I remembered your gall bladder issue.

A couple come to mind I've done..

- Cooked chicken or turkey with one or more organs still left in the bird. Turned out fine but you don't want your guests seeing that.
- Grabbed a new copper skillet from the broiler with my bare hand.
- Hits and misses with gravy. Sometimes too watery.. sometimes like wall paste.
- Put steak seasoning on a kids steak at a bbq once who specifically said "no peppers". Kind of a vague request though.
- Nuked the shit out of potatoes and rendered them useless not realizing how powerful a new microwave oven is.

My biggest mistake was doing it myself instead of letting my wife cook.

I used a crock pot - our crock pot, I'm not the EARRONS of slow cooking - to make a pork shoulder. Let it cook all day, it needed an extra hour so it was finished at 10:30PM, too late for dinner. Popped it in the fridge, woke up the next day to try some for breakfast.

What they don't tell you is to TRIM THE FAT. There was about four inches of white pork fat that had risen to the top. Don't get me wrong, left to my own devices I'd cook breakfast foods with it for the next quarter century, but because I am married now and missing a gall bladder, I scraped it away and threw it out.

What mistakes have you made while cooking, denizens?