In other news, has anyone confirmed that Jessica Simpson's left eyebrow was designed by scientists in a lab? I cannot believe that through normal human evolution -- which I do believe in -- that such an eyebrow could ever permanently be in the, "so, you really, really want to fuck me, eh?" position. Which it appears to be in for her.

But then again, when whoever the hell Spears's record company is wanted to throw her image on every single flat surface in the western world, they had no problem with shooting every picture of the poor girl from where she looked at the camera with her head slightly tilted to the side. So perhaps there are in fact nefarious motives that are far more evil than genetic eyebrow manipulation.

As Chris Claremont once had someone once say in an X-Men comic or something, "it beggars the imagination."

I knew she was a slut.

Ha! Looks like Lex isn't the only one who's gonna be asking for bigger hands.