It pains me that brother will not answer the question.

Knuckles the CLown wrote:The waitress at Applebees where I took my dad for lunch on Monday called me sweethart 6 times and touched my hand. She was probably late 40's, well past her prime but had that you know she'd be a great fuck aura to her. That makes me feel special so a 35% tip.

W....why did you take father to Applebee's? Is this some sort of weird thing where you live in the best city for places to eat, so in order to celebrate you remind yourselves how well you have it by going to fucking, motherfucking Applebee's?

Did father suggest that? You over-ride him when he suggests that. He tried to pull that shit the last time he was out here. (He only got to go because he left with mom before I woke up, a couple days.)

pinback wrote:You've never had dinner come out and there was one other easy thing, like a condiment, or more LARD or something, which you'd prefer get taken care of right away? Or are you in full okayface.com mode whenever you get food at a restaurant?

I AM in full

"okay"

face during the meal, yes, but I also don't need A-1 Steak Sauce or more crisco or anything. I just want to eat the meal the way the chef prepared it. That's all. However it comes is FINE. I don't think I have made it clear how much better any food from any restaurant is when compared to what I make myself at home with my oven, toaster oven, pots and sad pans.

The instant im done stuffing my face i pull out my debit card and put it on the table. It's out before the bill arrives and we can skip the absurdity of me being asked if I want some shitty 8 dollar desert. They always act shocked the card is out, but whatever saves them time, I always tip 20% for normal service and 30+% if anything they do make the meal better. Like cleevage showing, calling me sweethart, or when I ask for a side of ranch or blue cheese and comes in a decent sized portion.

The waitress at Applebees where I took my dad for lunch on Monday called me sweethart 6 times and touched my hand. She was probably late 40's, well past her prime but had that you know she'd be a great fuck aura to her. That makes me feel special so a 35% tip.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

pinback wrote:I appreciate one (1) single followup, after the food is delivered. Sometimes they didn't bring the ketchup! Sometimes I just need my beer filled!

I don't mind one post-delivery followup.

I guess it is different at a diner, when I want coffee filled, but I try to tip waitresses who work at diners 50%. Not because I am made of money, I am in fact made of dollars, pizzas and muscles. It is because the bill is like $8 and why not tip four bucks on that when she's busting her ass.

Wait, shit, JC is the only forum in the world to never have a tipping thread and I'd like to keep it that way. So ignore that paragraph.

You've never had dinner come out and there was one other easy thing, like a condiment, or more LARD or something, which you'd prefer get taken care of right away? Or are you in full okayface.com mode whenever you get food at a restaurant?

pinback wrote:I appreciate one (1) single followup, after the food is delivered. Sometimes they didn't bring the ketchup! Sometimes I just need my beer filled!

I don't mind one post-delivery followup.

I guess it is different at a diner, when I want coffee filled, but I try to tip waitresses who work at diners 50%. Not because I am made of money, I am in fact made of dollars, pizzas and muscles. It is because the bill is like $8 and why not tip four bucks on that when she's busting her ass.

Wait, shit, JC is the only forum in the world to never have a tipping thread and I'd like to keep it that way. So ignore that paragraph.

At one point last weekend there was a line three people deep waiting to check on us.

I think what made it worse is that the owners are brothers that look alike, so it gave the illusion that one person was checking on us every 30 seconds when it was really two people, each checking on us once a minute.

I appreciate one (1) single followup, after the food is delivered. Sometimes they didn't bring the ketchup! Sometimes I just need my beer filled!

I don't mind one post-delivery followup.

Flack wrote:Jonsey, you remember that BBQ place I took you to? Their new policy is that at least 5 different people must check on you at least 3 times a minute. Seriously. Dad and I went there the other day and we were laughing because one person asked if everything was okay right before I took a bite, a second person asked while I was chewing, and a third asked right after that. It was like the swarm of bees from 720, if bees gave refills.

I don't get that at all. I'm going to separate this into what PEOPLE LIKE and PEOPLE NOT LIKE ME prefer:

People Not Like Me:
- They need to be "checked on" two seconds after the food comes because they need to send it back, or the mayo wasn't on the side or they need to have their meal reheated or they need the music turned down or they need the music turned up or they need one of a thousand fucking things people, as they are people not like me, they are terrible people

People Like Me:
- Deliver the food, we both agree that everything showed up, and you do not need to bother with me until I take the last bite, in which you can drop off the bill, wait two seconds* for me to get my card and give it to you.

*That's the other thing that kills me. It takes me three? Four seconds to get my card and give it to you? HOLD UP, Barry Allen. We both know you're gonna disappear for 15 minutes otherwise, just wait one Christpunching second for me to pay.

Flack wrote:In doing that, you risk them disappearing after payment, especially if you tip on the card.

I never tip on the bill or charge the tip.

I took a nice lady out to dinner, and she noticed that I didn't write any tip on the bill. She didn't see it because I did so on the way out, but I tip in cash, and I explained it to her.

If you tip on the bill there's a record of it and the restaurant is required to report it to the IRS and collect withholding. Pay in cash and nobody else knows about it. It's then up to the server to decide whether they (are stupid enough to) report it.

I remember the time I went to an Outback Steakhouse, got my sodas, and I think I placed my order, so I went to the restroom to wash my hands. I am very consistent about this, I'm touching food and I might have touched dirty things before hand. When I came back, they had cleared my table. If it wasn't for the fact you get unlimited refills on sodas, I could have said that I got a free refill out of it.

I have another Outback story.

I decided to go out one Sunday, and I drove from Fort Washington along US 301 over to the Nice bridge, the last link to the south between Maryland and Virginia. I'd guess it's maybe 50 miles one way. I drove a ways, then came back. On the way out there, I noticed an Outback Steakhouse in Waldorf, Maryland. So, coming back, I stopped there and had dinner.

Basically a nice steak, like a Porterhouse, a Bloomin' Onion, baked potato with butter and sour cream and chives, and probably a Chocolate Thunder. You know, the typical loaded with fat "order for instant heart disease" that the American Male just loves (to death!) So I'd drop about $30, which is okay, I work for a living, I make a decent living, I can afford it.

So, I decided it would be something I'd do to break me out of my rut of going to work and coming home, every Sunday I'd drive out to the Outback in Waldorf, and I'd typically drop about $30 for dinner each time. After I'd done this about a month, the manager came over to see me and thank me and see if everything is okay. It was something that he does with regular customers.

Flash forward a few weeks later. My sister was having some problems in her business, so I decide to take her out to dinner, and I drive us over to the Waldorf Outback. They don't take reservations - which I didn't even think about doing at the time - and there's about an hour wait, they're very busy.

Well, about 5 minutes after we got there, the hostess comes over to us and tells us they have a table ready. I really don't suppose it had anything to do with them giving extra service to a regular customer, do you? :)

It's a timing dance, for sure. Miss that one opportunity when they come by and you throw the whole tango off.

I have on occasion asked for the bill when the food arrived. I use the excuse, "we might have to leave early, can we go ahead and get the bill now?" In doing that, you risk them disappearing after payment, especially if you tip on the card.

Jonsey, you remember that BBQ place I took you to? Their new policy is that at least 5 different people must check on you at least 3 times a minute. Seriously. Dad and I went there the other day and we were laughing because one person asked if everything was okay right before I took a bite, a second person asked while I was chewing, and a third asked right after that. It was like the swarm of bees from 720, if bees gave refills.

I was reminded of this by the EA Sports thread. Of course.

Jolt Country, why do waiters and waitresses fucking disappear the moment I am ready for my bill?