by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Apr 03, 2003 1:50 am
I have no "Games I Been Playing Lately" post to make. So here's a list of diseases that I have been doing my very best to combat!
Strep Throat: At least, I presume that's what it was. I have not been to a doctor since I was a sophomore in college. (A sophomore the first time.) The doctor told me that I had MONO at that point. Anyway, this is very streppy. Very strep-like. It hurts to swallow and when I wake up, my throat feels like someone had scoured it with a Phil Niekro "scuff ball." Or one of those 409 pads.
Vice Head: It comes and goes. But when it's present, it's like that scene in Casino where Joe Pesci finally gets the name of some guy who commited some imagined crime against him, and he tortures the guy who told him to death. His eye pops out at that point! I haven't felt quite that bad, but if my eye pops out I can at least take the opportunity to give it a good cleaning, because...
Desert Eye: ... They feel as if they are covered in sand, or a thick grit! Aaaagh, my eyes, you know? It's like that!! I recently read a message on the Internet that said that if you wear non-breathable contacts for too long, your eyes will attempt to create new blood vessels to make up for the ones covered by the contacts. The hilarious result is that they form over your cornea. I like my cornea. Both of them. I don't think I'm there, but this can't be healthy.
Runny Nose: Is this the kind of BBS where we bitch about runny noses and skinned knees? No! So I shall not.
Tasha's Uncontrollable Sneezing: Oi vey! I sneeze so much that English cannot fully express the situation! It's like someone gave me some sneezing powder. But there is no warm, manly slap on the back afterwards and exclaimation of "good joke, eh, buddy?". Sadly.
and lastly...
Damned For All Eternity Blood: My cardiovascular system has a map of the cosmos, and thinks that I am living on the frozen wastes that is Pluto, or maybe even that chunk of rock that circles Pluto, taunting it once a day because it has the better view of the Sun. So it's "upped the stakes" by bringing my internal temperature to a nice, temperate, 314 degrees. I had a roll for dinner tonight, and rather than put it in the microwave, I simply held it in my hands. This, of course, has led to a great bit of frustration, in various ways, as you can imagine. If it gets any worse, though, I'll give a bit of warmth to my frozen TEEVEE dinner tomorrow night by simply looking at it for 15-18 minutes (depending on altitude! And the state of my new horrible, uncontrollable HEAT VISION).
I am confident, though, that I will be able to soon "shag it and bag it" in the way that you, the Jolt Country Denizen, have come to expect. And if not, well, open coffin services will be held in Colorado, New York, and maybe even your home town! Jump on in and get COZY -- it will take me at least a month to reach "room" temperature. No skull-fucking, though, please! Ah! Ah! Ah!
I have no "Games I Been Playing Lately" post to make. So here's a list of diseases that I have been doing my very best to combat!
Strep Throat: At least, I presume that's what it was. I have not been to a doctor since I was a sophomore in college. (A sophomore the first time.) The doctor told me that I had MONO at that point. Anyway, this is very streppy. Very strep-like. It hurts to swallow and when I wake up, my throat feels like someone had scoured it with a Phil Niekro "scuff ball." Or one of those 409 pads.
Vice Head: It comes and goes. But when it's present, it's like that scene in Casino where Joe Pesci finally gets the name of some guy who commited some imagined crime against him, and he tortures the guy who told him to death. His eye pops out at that point! I haven't felt quite that bad, but if my eye pops out I can at least take the opportunity to give it a good cleaning, because...
Desert Eye: ... They feel as if they are covered in sand, or a thick grit! Aaaagh, my eyes, you know? It's like that!! I recently read a message on the Internet that said that if you wear non-breathable contacts for too long, your eyes will attempt to create new blood vessels to make up for the ones covered by the contacts. The hilarious result is that they form over your cornea. I like my cornea. Both of them. I don't think I'm there, but this can't be healthy.
Runny Nose: Is this the kind of BBS where we bitch about runny noses and skinned knees? No! So I shall not.
Tasha's Uncontrollable Sneezing: Oi vey! I sneeze so much that English cannot fully express the situation! It's like someone gave me some sneezing powder. But there is no warm, manly slap on the back afterwards and exclaimation of "good joke, eh, buddy?". Sadly.
and lastly...
Damned For All Eternity Blood: My cardiovascular system has a map of the cosmos, and thinks that I am living on the frozen wastes that is Pluto, or maybe even that chunk of rock that circles Pluto, taunting it once a day because it has the better view of the Sun. So it's "upped the stakes" by bringing my internal temperature to a nice, temperate, 314 degrees. I had a roll for dinner tonight, and rather than put it in the microwave, I simply held it in my hands. This, of course, has led to a great bit of frustration, in various ways, as you can imagine. If it gets any worse, though, I'll give a bit of warmth to my frozen TEEVEE dinner tomorrow night by simply looking at it for 15-18 minutes (depending on altitude! And the state of my new horrible, uncontrollable HEAT VISION).
I am confident, though, that I will be able to soon "shag it and bag it" in the way that you, the Jolt Country Denizen, have come to expect. And if not, well, open coffin services will be held in Colorado, New York, and maybe even your home town! Jump on in and get COZY -- it will take me at least a month to reach "room" temperature. No skull-fucking, though, please! Ah! Ah! Ah!