NY-Style Pizza

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

You'd think he wouldn't burn the crust on his instructional pizza making video.

Agreed. The texture on the crust is all wrong.

[pinback]

This is now the "post Youtube videos of guys making pizza" thread.

[The Happiness Engine]

Agreed. The texture on the crust is all wrong.

Hrm, I wonder who the fuck this guy, this COCK-A-ROACH thinks he is making pizza like this? Maybe Paul can mis-quote a wikipedia article to help out.

I guess I've just been eating "NYC Pizza" and not "NYC STYLE Pizza" all along! Who knew they were so different?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I was just making a texture reference. It's important to me that you all know I would devour all these pies.

[Billy Mays]

It's important to me that you all know I would devour all these pies.

You would have to fight Shabu for the burnt one.

[pinback]

Finally got pies from Fratelli's again.

This is a NY-style pie, and is the best thing it is possible to eat in all of Ohio.

I got a second one for the rest of the family with pepperoni and mushrooms and shit on it, but this one... this CHEESE PIZZA... is for daddy.

[Flack]

Looks just like Jerry's.

[pinback]

Looks just like Jerry's.

This is because of the Star Wars thing, isn't it.

[Flack]

[Tdarcos]

I still don't get it. You show pictures of other pizza you claim are New York-style pizzas, versus Jerry's, which you claim isn't, despite the fact the pictures make them look the same. None of you has either handled nor eaten a Jerry's so you can't claim it fails on taste, mouth feel, smell, appearance, bending, folding, water content, or any other experiential reason. I'm sure none of you has worked at one so you don't know how they are made. In short, all of you are "speaking ex cathedra from your asshole," and really don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Sort of like the pope, whenever he says some brainless, moronic comment, which they all do, often.

Let's be real simple: what is the difference? Objectively, what is missing from Jerry's that is present in "real" New York-style pizza? What is present in Jerry's that is missing from "real" New York-style pizza?

In one of the Dirty Harry films, Harry defines exactly what is, in his opinion, a reasonable hot dog: "Nobody, I mean nobody, puts ketchup on a hot dog." Probably he disagrees on taste reasons. But millions would disagree with Harry; despite some people saying so, not just 12-year-olds put ketchup on a hot dog, adults do. (I don't, unless there is nothing else available and can't eat it bare.). If I'm going to put condiments on a hot dog, it's chili, cheese, and sauerkraut. (No pepperoni, however.) These are all opinions, statements made which are not provably true or false, and may have nothing to support them except personal preference.

Ben says a hometown pizza store there in Ohio does make real New York style pizza, but has not stated what's the difference.

In short, you say the particular one fromJerry's fails to reach the standard, but can't give objective reasons why it isn't.

Maybe we should start with something simple: what are the defining characteristics of a new York-style pizza? What must it have, and what must it not have?

This whole argument reminds me of one of the most weaksauce Christian reasons there is a God: "Look at the trees." Yeah, living things born from millions of years of automatic processes of finding the best way to survive and breed. Does not prove a conscious entity or intelligence.

Your claims that Jerry's pizza is not New York-Style have been lacking evidence. And Hitchens' Razor applies here too: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
Ordinary claims require ordinary evidence.
Claims made without evidence may be dismissed without evidence.

As you haven't provided even trivial evidence...

[AArdvark]

ah, what you need to do is go out and get an NY style pie AND a pizza that lets on to be a NY pie but isn't. This way you can have first-hand evidence and discover the differences for yourself. It will also give you a goal, getting up and out. Pizza makes a wonderful goal.

THE
JOURNEY OF
SELF PIZZA
AARDVARK

[Flack]

Back in the 90s when mp3s were new, I swore up and down that they sounded exactly the same as CDs. This was back before variable bit rate (VBR) mp3s or high quality (320kb) encoding -- we're talking 128kb for the most part, with some 96kb (which some people refer to as "radio quality"). My hearing was already damaged at that point from standing in the front row of one too many concerts and driving around with overpowered subwoofers aimed at my head. Exasperated that I could not tell the difference between these audio formats, a friend of mine finally told me I should "consider myself lucky for having such terrible hearing."

Paul, if you honestly cannot tell the difference between a Jerry's pizza and a New York style pizza simply by looking at it, then close your eyes and pretend like each slice was toasted over the Statue of Liberty's torch and sprinkled with tiny Empire State Buildings. Ever Upward!

[Billy Mays]

I like how pinback didn't post a burnt pile of crap and then pretend like that's ok somehow.

[AArdvark]

Now that's an idea! Get one of those branding iron things like they did for grilled cheese, only it's shaped like Empire State Building (cant use Lady Liberty 'cause she is actually in New Jersey and we don't want anyone to become geographically Tdarcos-ed) and it burns the image onto the top of a new York style pizza. Genius!

THE
MILLION DOLLAR IDEA
AARDVARK

[Tdarcos]

ah, what you need to do is go out

No, I'm not the one making the positive claim. I'm just trying to find out how you guys know - without personal experience - that Jerry's is both garbage pizza and is not New York-Style.

I can say that Dominos - except for Philly steak - is garbage pizza because I have (unfortunately) eaten it. Dominos Philly steak is ok. Celeste Supreme frozen pizza is ok. Local pizza Pizza Bolis was above ok.

But Jerrys was always excellent. Not greasy, piping hot, the cheese so succulent, the other topings so tasty, great mouth feel, no weird aftertaste, no funny feeling in the stomach later. So why is it "garbage pizza"?

I mean, seriously, if someone can explain simply, why it is, I would consider changing my opinion. I've changed my opinion before when confronted with facts and evidence.

[pinback]

It's not garbage pizza, it's just not NY style. You can tell by looking at it.

[Flack]

Well, no foolin', I believe we can consider the topic CLOSED.

Date: Sun, 17 May 2020 07:59:37
Subject: NY Style Pizza?
From: [Flack]
To: support@jerrysusa.com

Hello!

I am hoping you can settle a quick online debate between some friends of
mine. One of my friends (who lives in Maryland and loves your pizza!)
swears that Jerry's Pizza is a New York-style pizza. The rest of us (who
live in other parts of the country) have found pictures of Jerry's pizzas,
and while they look very delicious, do not appear to be New York style.

Can you resolve this debate for us? Would you consider your pizza to be New
York style pizza?

Thank you for helping us resolve this debate. Your food looks very
delicious!

Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 06:53:22
Subject: re: NY Style Pizza?
From: Eli Chediak (Elic@jerrysusa.com)
To: [Flack]

Yes it is ... New York style pizza with our secret sauce ...

Warmest Regards, (PLEASE NOTE OUR NEW ADDRESS BELOW)

Eli Chediak
Jerry’s Subs and Pizza Inc
President & CEO
1201 Seven Locks Road, Suite 360 PMB #29
Rockville, MD 20854
1 (888) 684-6670 (Office)
215.630.3961 (mobile)

[Tdarcos]

Paul, if you honestly cannot tell the difference between a Jerry's pizza and a New York style pizza simply by looking at it, then close your eyes and pretend like each slice was toasted over the Statue of Liberty's torch and sprinkled with tiny Empire State Buildings. Ever Upward!

How is that "New York-style?" The Statue of Liberty is in New Jersey. For those that might not believe me, see U.S. Supreme Court case, New Jersey v. New York, 523 U.S. 767 (1998).

[AArdvark]

Five posts ago AArdvark wrote:

cant use Lady Liberty 'cause she is actually in New Jersey and we don't want anyone to become geographically Tdarcos-ed

THE
TOO LATE!
AARDVVARK

[Tdarcos]

Agreed. The texture on the crust is all wrong.

Hrm, I wonder who the fuck this guy, this COCK-A-ROACH thinks he is making pizza like this? Maybe Paul can mis-quote a wikipedia article to help out.

No, but I can do a bad tie-in joke: What should someone say to him if they present him with a dough docker? "Say hello to my little friend!"