Gayest Video Game Ever?

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 9:13 pm

Now, Blue Wizard Is About To Die would have you believe that "riding an ostrich is pretty gay", but Joust is not even in the same league as the monument to gayiety that is Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. Mame emulates it if you really want to know.

Oh, my goodness.

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 9:29 pm

I don't know.

I'm drrruuuuuuuuunk, though. I know that. And not in the sipping gin and safeway brand Safeway safeka way either. This should be the general topic, but if it's not, it should be "Am I Drunk"? I can tell you the answer to that one.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Tue Aug 19, 2003 1:29 am

Yes! On all accounts I am accused of! Yes, Yes! OH GOD YES YES OH BABY YES ahhhhh...

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Tue Aug 19, 2003 3:14 am

That wasn't me! I never post drunk! It's so declasse! That's an accent aigu on that last e! Ah, fuck it.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Aug 19, 2003 8:07 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I don't know.

I'm drrruuuuuuuuunk, though. I know that. And not in the sipping gin and safeway brand Safeway safeka way either. This should be the general topic, but if it's not, it should be "Am I Drunk"? I can tell you the answer to that one.

Oh boy.

Nothing like "the morning after" is there?

I also slept in my contact lenses for the first time.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Wed Aug 20, 2003 11:05 am

What are you doing getting drunk on a Tuesday night? How droll.

How could Joust possibly be considered gay? OK, you might make an arguement that it's nothing but a big gay locker-room swordfight, with men trying to position their, err, lance above the other fellows, and watch out for falling balls. But really, it's not gay.

You might say that Qix is, as the best strategy is to get out there at the beginning and draw a big long phallus that takes up virtually the whole length of the field, splitting it in half, then drawing a short, slow-moving "squirt" off the tip for a high score.

Then there's Dig Dug, where you whip out a long appendage, penetrate your opponent with it, then pump into him until he explodes. Extra points if you can do it side-to-side instead of being on the top or the bottom. And, one of the enemies even has flaming breath!

Pac-Man might be one of the most obvious, though - after popping a bunch of pills, you have to eat your opponent. Not only that, but clear a few boards and your reward is a fucking stage play complete with a show tune. Now that is gay.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 11:24 am

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:What are you doing getting drunk on a Tuesday night? How droll.

I got drunk on Monday night. Thus waking up in contacts on Tuesday. I got drunk because I fucking dominated in flag football and, in a league with no blocking, got blocked on my way to the quarterback four fucking times (which was five yards and loss of down each time it happened).

I got a sack to start the second half and then the QB for the other team told a guy that they had that looked -- swear to God -- just like "Metalmouth" from that James Bond flick to block me. You can't block in this league, though. But that didn't stop Metalmouth from exclaiming "That's Happy Gilmore's ball. We love him!" and then trying to pile drive me into the ground. Most defensive ends go like 6'3" 290lbs, so what I lose in size I make up in GUILE.

Pac-Man might be one of the most obvious, though - after popping a bunch of pills, you have to eat your opponent. Not only that, but clear a few boards and your reward is a fucking stage play complete with a show tune. Now that is gay.

Noting that they put on a theatre production in Pac Man is possibly the best video game comment you've ever made. It's one of those I wish I made myself. Damn you! gg.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 12:54 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:]
like "Metalmouth" from that James Bond flick

Uh, you mean "Jaws" ?

JQW wrote:Pac-Man might be one of the most obvious, though - after popping a bunch of pills, you have to eat your opponent. Not only that, but clear a few boards and your reward is a fucking stage play complete with a show tune. Now that is gay.

The Act I, etc. designations don't actually come in until Ms. Pac-Man. And there's a clapboard there so obviously it's a movie.

I think the Pac-Man intermission is more of an infomercial.

As for Joust being gay....

http://www.twhi.org/rip/wizard/samples/joust.pdf

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 1:08 pm

Hey, has anyone ever recorded all the acts in both Pac-Man and Ms Pac-Man and put them into an AVI or whatnot? I am not good enough to see them all, and I have always been curious as to what exactly went down between those two fun-loving Pac-kids.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 1:29 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Hey, has anyone ever recorded all the acts in both Pac-Man and Ms Pac-Man and put them into an AVI or whatnot? I am not good enough to see them all, and I have always been curious as to what exactly went down between those two fun-loving Pac-kids.

The scene with John Holmes and Seka after the fifth key is worth viewing.

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 1:35 pm

I... look, Brucey, don't kid with me here. This is serious stuff. Serious as a heart attack. The only person I know who would POSSIBLY know this would be... well, you and Roody, probably. But also you. And Roody. But you, too.

Something like that -- a bunch of Pac-scenes -- doesn't exist, does it?

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 2:13 pm

I'd be more inclined to think it has to exist somewhere.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 3:20 pm

Roody_Yogurt wrote:I'd be more inclined to think it has to exist somewhere.

I haven't found it yet, but I have found:

The Theology of Pac-Man

Bruce

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 4:04 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Hey, has anyone ever recorded all the acts in both Pac-Man and Ms Pac-Man and put them into an AVI or whatnot? I am not good enough to see them all, and I have always been curious as to what exactly went down between those two fun-loving Pac-kids.

Well, for Mrs. Pacman I know that once you start getting random fruit in a level they stop becuase I know a guy who plays the hell out of it at my local arcade.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 4:08 pm

Worm wrote:Well, for Mrs. Pacman I know that once you start getting random fruit in a level they stop becuase I know a guy who plays the hell out of it at my local arcade.

There are only the three in MPM: "They Meet", "The Chase", and "Junior".

There are, I think, three in Pac-Man too:

1) Pac-Man, pursued by Blinky, returns chasing him in his blue state
2) Pac-Man turns into Super Pac-Man and chases all four ghosts
3) Blinky loses his sheet and you see his boxers.

I think. I haven't played Pac-Man in a while.

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 5:00 pm

So, I've put the sound on for ICQ the last couple of days for various reasons.

The last few days, I have been under the impression that this place is haunted. Why? Because I have heard something which distinctly sounds like a knocking door. I go to the door. Nobody's there.

Apparently, the hippie communists who wrote ICQ decided to make the "door knocking" sound the one that denotes a new person logging on to ICQ. I only just now discovered this as Walrustitty logged on.

Jonsey to ICQ Sound Designers:

THANKS, maggots.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Thu Aug 21, 2003 11:07 am

Intermissions as movies, or stage plays?

Debatable. Yes, they use a clapboard - which was only necessary in the early days of cinema. However, it also says "act one" - and the only movie that I can think of that has 'acts" is Tromeo and Juliet, which is based on a stage play. (Well, a play, plus pighumping, daughter molestation, raisin meat, decapitations, and heavy metal music.)

I would say that they are stage plays. The camera stays steady, as if you're watching a stage, and Pac-Man usually enters from stage left (where the hero is supposed to enter) and the ghosts from stage right (where the villains are supposed to enter.)

(That's because, theoretically, your eye instinctively wants to see left-to-right movement, and right-to-left looks wrong or at least slightly evil,)

And yes, "Jaws" was the character's name... Richard Kiel is the actor, if memory serves me correctly.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Thu Aug 21, 2003 1:28 pm

Apparently, the hippie communists who wrote ICQ decided to make the "door knocking" sound the one that denotes a new person logging on to ICQ.

If I have to learn BBC Code or whatever it is to be able to post on here without making myself look like waif, then you can, sure as shit, go into ICQ sound preferences and customize your own sounds, you plebe.[/i]

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Thu Aug 21, 2003 2:21 pm

Vitriola wrote: If I have to learn BBC Code or whatever it is to be able to post on here without making myself look like waif, then you can, sure as shit, go into ICQ sound preferences and customize your own sounds, you plebe.[/i]

Your Mad BBC Coding Skillz need some work, kiddo.

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Aug 21, 2003 2:43 pm

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:Intermissions as movies, or stage plays?

Debatable. Yes, they use a clapboard - which was only necessary in the early days of cinema. However, it also says "act one" - and the only movie that I can think of that has 'acts" is Tromeo and Juliet, which is based on a stage play. (Well, a play, plus pighumping, daughter molestation, raisin meat, decapitations, and heavy metal music.)

I would say that they are stage plays. The camera stays steady, as if you're watching a stage, and Pac-Man usually enters from stage left (where the hero is supposed to enter) and the ghosts from stage right (where the villains are supposed to enter.)

(That's because, theoretically, your eye instinctively wants to see left-to-right movement, and right-to-left looks wrong or at least slightly evil,)

And yes, "Jaws" was the character's name... Richard Kiel is the actor, if memory serves me correctly.

Yeah, that's fantastic, thanks for sharing.

Come on you rubes -- nobody knows the answer as to whether or not the scenes Pac and Ms. Pac have ever been recorded?

Gayest Video Game Ever?

What's the Gayest Video Game?

Gayest Video Game Ever?