Here We Talk About Online Games

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 1:23 am

What games, do not suck, that I can play online with you guys and, potentially, win at? The problem is; I'm not on broadband for playing realtime games, and I'm sure that's the only kind I can win.

:(

:(

So, if anyone has any great ideas on how to ridicule you all; just let me know.

Also: LSN is a LOT more hardcore than I thought it was; combat engagements on the 2ND TURN?!!? You don't even get this in *Battle Chess*. Fuck this "Training Marshal" in the ass, if I was really being trained to be a CO in the Armed Sevices, I don't think my superior would look down at me, shout "BUZZER RUSH! KEKEKEKEKEKE!" and start trying to force insects into my eyes. I mean, What The Fuck?

"Hi, I'm employed to help in persuading you to buy our product! Please, bend over so I can have my 23 FUCKING SNIPERS insert their Class9 Scoped Laser Rifles into your rectal cavity! Still not having fun? Okay, well, how about the moment we start playing again, I will, on the SECOND FUCKING ROUND Fire a ball through the window of your Base Of Operations? Y'know, the kind that EXPLODES INTO AN EXTREMELY CAUSTIC ALIEN GOO THAT SPATTERS OVER MOST OF YOUR MEN, THE FLOOR, THE CEILINGS AND YOUR BASE, ANYONE YOU EVER KNEW OR LOVED, AND THAT PUPPY OVER THERE, REDUCING THEM ALL TO A HOT, CREAMY SAUCE FOR MY QUEEN DRONE TO DIP HER 'CELERY' IN?!?!?

This guy needs help. I don't think he should be in training. I do not want this gent to get his hands on the Machina.

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 7:53 am

Best of!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 8:22 am

Lex, I'll attempt to hop onto the Squad tomorrow morning or afternoon. Er, presuming that works for you at all.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Fri Sep 26, 2003 8:43 am

Turn-based play, is that what you want?

Minimal bandwidth usage?

Bloody competition?

Levelling up?

Let me introduce you to my friend, the Green Dragon.

I also have a "hangman" game on my site, but it's pretty basic and doesn't, like, keep high scores and shit like that.

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 3:16 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Lex, I'll attempt to hop onto the Squad tomorrow morning or afternoon. Er, presuming that works for you at all.

Listen, pal, I am TOTALLY FUCKING OKAY with takin' you on today. SERIOUSLY. COME AND FUCKING GET SOME. It's not like I am in any way STRESSED towards the Jew-Powered Burn-'Em-Up(TM) "Nazi" class IBM Servers these games are running on, at all, or anything; I AM A REALLY FUCKING HAPPY BUNNY, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK AND TAKE IT LIKE A BIG GURL.

Right now I would really like something to stab. In the abscene of a certain, or any, face I am going to have to totally destroy you credibility. So, c'mon. Try and FUCK ME OVER. Just fuckin' try it. See what happens.

1.21 Gigawatts.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 3:38 pm

Lex wrote:Listen, pal, I am TOTALLY FUCKING OKAY with takin' you on today.

I still gotta hit the bars tonight.

SERIOUSLY. COME AND FUCKING GET SOME.

I'm going to give you such a pasting in this game, Euro, that you're going to have to hire a fucking herald to explain away the embarassment on your FAMILY FUCKING CREST.

It's not like I am in any way STRESSED

Stressed? Stressed is living in a one-bedroom with a kitty that poops enough for a three. Your stress is the Uno to my Texas Fucking Hold 'Em.

towards the Jew-Powered Burn-'Em-Up(TM) "Nazi" class IBM Servers these games are running on,

Thanks for that insight, Banky Edwards: Apparently, blaming IBM is the new "blaming the controller."

I AM A REALLY FUCKING HAPPY BUNNY, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK AND TAKE IT LIKE A BIG GURL.

...

... That's lovely. Jesus Christ! Is there ANYONE on this bulletin board of ANY of the three or four genders we got running around here who doesn't want to fuck me?

Right now I would really like something to stab. In the abscene of a certain, or any, face I am going to have to totally destroy you credibility.

"Your." "Your" credibility. Souffle of Pain posts like that. I WONDER WHO HE REALLY IS.

So, c'mon. Try and FUCK ME OVER. Just fuckin' try it. See what happens.

Don't have any food with any salt in them for the next couple of hours until I come home to beat the shit out of you in this game: it will make the lake of tears that soon follows more freshwater and less salt water. Being able to raise salmon in your backyard will be one hell of a consolation prize.

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 4:19 pm

ICJ wrote: I'm going to give you such a pasting in this game, Euro, that you're going to have to hire a fucking herald to explain away the embarassment on your FAMILY FUCKING CREST.

First off, don't ever, ever call me a fucking Euro ever again. Ever. You think I like the idea of being ruled from Brussels? Hold off on that, or the Goo will hit the Fan.

Thanks for that insight, Banky Edwards: Apparently, blaming IBM is the new "blaming the controller."

Hey, what the fuck? What the fuck do I know about what servers they run on? I don't care. All I know is it is powered by Jews,
"The only power source with added chutzpah!"

... That's lovely. Jesus Christ! Is there ANYONE on this bulletin board of ANY of the three or four genders we got running around here who doesn't want to fuck me?

This is one of the reasons I am taking you down; I am so much more deserving of all the quad-way sexual deviances the true upper-crust of this 'board gain through favours and organised crime. It's time to Swim With Sharks, Baby!

"Your." "Your" credibility. Souffle of Pain posts like that. I WONDER WHO HE REALLY IS.

WELL I WONDER MISTAR ICE CREAM SOUFFLE!

Being able to raise salmon in your backyard will be one hell of a consolation prize.

Are you even trying any more?

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 7:04 pm

What games, do not suck, that I can play online with you guys and, potentially, win at?

pong!

or maybe 'suck off''

THE
JESUS I AM DRUNK
AARDVARK

BALLS! two sigs in a row

Keza · Post by **Keza** » Sun Sep 28, 2003 2:18 pm

Does every argument on this forum consist of the sort of ever-SO-slightly pretentious, carefully thought out, oh-look-I'm-so-spontaneous playfighting so painfully evident in this thread? Hell, don't get me wrong, I'm a) no stranger to and b) no condemner of this sort of lightly entertaining over-the-top rant, but - and this is the *only* time I will EVER be heard to say this in any capacity - JESUS LEX, IT'S ONLY A GAME! Move on!

EDIT: Also: Did I really sleep with Shortcake?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Sep 28, 2003 4:49 pm

Keza wrote:Does every argument on this forum consist of the sort of ever-SO-slightly pretentious, carefully thought out, oh-look-I'm-so-spontaneous playfighting so painfully evident in this thread?

Just the ones involving Scots, I think.

EDIT: Also: Did I really sleep with Shortcake?

In my mind, you've already hit that shit about thirty times.

Persona II taught us that reality can be shaped by enough people believing something, and I'm hoping that the same sort of thing can happen here. (And, ah, that the 12 people who visit place are enough to get it done.)

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 5:49 am

Just the ones involving Scots, I think.

That would be due to our rather tempestuous natures and often red hair. I'd love to tell you that in reality, we are actually fluffy, cuddly, lovely people, but unfortunately we really ARE shouty, argumentative shites with funny accents.

If reality can indeed be shaped by enough people believing something than Mr Blair would be on four legs by now, and I would quite possibly have been horribly killed by the god of the Jews on at least five occasions. Who the hell IS Shortcake, anyway? Better not be a chick...

Keza · Post by **Keza** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 9:45 am

Damn, damn, that would have been me. MAKE YOUR DAMN FORUMS GUESTPROOF.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 10:02 am

Keza wrote:Damn, damn, that would have been me. MAKE YOUR DAMN FORUMS GUESTPROOF.

I have been trying, my dear friend Keza. I have been trying, indeed.

But these guests! They cross me. They throttle me. They beggar my imagination.

Okay, curveball: you played the new Futurama game already, right? How was it?

Keza · Post by **Keza** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 1:22 pm

Guests, as any experienced hostess will tell you, are the bane of human existence. Shoot them all, I say.

The new Futurama game? Ah yes; got it before my beloved Mad Gamers was shut down. Worked out quite well, actually, as I never had to review the damn thing. As a game, it's distinctly, overbearingly mediocre; as a TV license converted into a game, it's quite an achievement. It carries the wit and character of the series into videogames with considerable panache, and does more to integrate itself with its parent television franchise than almost any other branded game I have played, Enter the Martix aside. However, also like Enter the Matrix, it's a poorly-put-together game, only it's an action-adventure with lots and lots of jumping rather than with lots and lots of guns. Still, for some unfathomable reason, I like it. It's occasionally entertaining, and encouraging as a licensed game. But hell, I didn't have to PAY for it. :P

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 3:22 pm

I saw her playing this game; sure, the links are great, but the game really, really sucks, it's an old-fashioned platformer in all the worst ways, with the bad bits of every bad FPS ever made thrown in. Except, you don't need a blue key.

Avoid it like the plague, or like Keza's avoiding ever touching another woman in my company.

:)

Ohwaitno

:(

Still, I did like ETM, & I know my viewpoint stuck with Keza here, aswell.

BOB · Post by **BOB** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 3:29 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Keza wrote:
Persona II taught us that reality can be shaped by enough people believing something, and I'm hoping that the same sort of thing can happen here. (And, ah, that the 12 people who visit place are enough to get it done.)

I BELIEVE!

Standards · Post by **Standards** » Sun Nov 16, 2003 9:33 pm

Lysander wrote:Best of!

Whoa! Who just shoved me out the goddamn window?

Defenestrator of Prague · Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:07 pm

Standards wrote:Whoa! Who just shoved me out the goddamn window?

;-)