The first mission in GTA:SA is excellent

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 11:39 am

Haha, no, it's a complete fucking waste of time.

In the game GRAND THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDREAS, your first mission is to run around on a BMX bike and "be" escorted by some other fags while you get shot at constantly by a car that has keyed in to your position.

Someone came into work, said, "Let's make the first mission in our brand new game an escort mission, in reverse, oh, and not let you use an actual automobile" and he was not immediately fired. More -- MORE!!! -- this was taken as a good idea and actually used.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: Rockstar makes the worst fucking levels and missions in the history of interactive entertainment.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 3:42 pm

Yeah, did you see how many "parents" said that that game is evil and should be ripped out of your XBOX..er, playstation and be thrown on the fires of hell? I played the first one recently, and thought it weas pretty funny.What's the problem? Are the graphics the same cartoonish style as the first one?

THE
DRUNK
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Nov 01, 2004 10:19 am

OK, actually, this game IS evil and I wouldn't want my kids (if I had some) to be anywhere near this game.

The game drops an n-bomb approximately three times every two seconds in the cut scenes. There's one scene where the "good" guys all get together, realize they have nothing to do and decide to go out and kill twenty other black people. They flip-flop between getting a bucket of chicken and just commiting twenty unprovoked homicides.

GTA3 and Vice City were violent games, but it was all ha-ha violence, mostly. This game is perfectly fine for people over 18 (well, over 15, 16, whatever) but I don't think an 11 year old kid is ready for it. In my opinion, I mean, I wouldn't want to legislate it or anything.

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 3:28 pm

This game comes from Edinburgh.

It doesn't care what you think.

It will break your kneecaps.

Phruitcake · Post by **Phruitcake** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 3:30 pm

Aye....

It'll Chib ye - ye bastie

...Or ye'll get teh MALKIE.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 4:41 pm

So is this really just worth a rental? I mean if the game is so great I have no trouble waiting a year to play it, or waiting a few months for a friend to get bored with it.

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » Wed Nov 03, 2004 5:22 pm

I'm really enjoying it. Honestly. San Andreas is, along with my illegally downloaded JLI issues, the primary reason I haven't been posting here lately. The reason I like it: It's easy.

See, all GTA games (or at least the three that count) alternate between two mods: "fun" mode" and "work" mode. Fun mode is when you're blaring down the wrong side of the road at unsafe speeds, crashing into everything in sight, and intentionally running down hookers while a good song plays on the radio. Fun mode is the first time you play most missions, and the second time you play most of the rest. Fun mode is the reason why everyone wets themselves when these games come out. In fun mode, GTA is one of the best series of games released by man.

Work mode is chasing down "hidden packages" and similar nonsense, playing a mission for the 3+ times and going through all the tedium of tracking down an "acceptable" car, driving to the mission giver, driving to the mission, and then failing at the part of the mission 10 minutes in where things get difficult and having to start over. Work mode is why everyone slags the GTA games. In work mode, GTA is unnacceptable pablum from an overrated software developer.

Since my starting safe house has a garage and I'm able to beat most missions by the second playthrough, I'm experiencing a much higher "fun" to "work" ratio than I did in Vice City and than I theorize I would have in GTA3 if I ever played it.

Unfortunately, most of the innovations aside from the basic "make it easier, dumbass" philosophy are pretty sad. I've eaten exactly one meal in my entire play time, but getting in shape basically involves spending a half-hour playing some stupid button mashing minigame that serves no real purpose. The gang warfare is pointless, and just gets in the way when a bunch of purple clad wankers start taking potshots at your car like they could possibly tell what gang you belong to as you blast by them at 90 miles an hour. The clothing/tatoo/hair customization is a nice touch, I suppose.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:GTA3 and Vice City were violent games, but it was all ha-ha violence, mostly. This game is perfectly fine for people over 18 (well, over 15, 16, whatever) but I don't think an 11 year old kid is ready for it. In my opinion, I mean, I wouldn't want to legislate it or anything.

While I understand, and don't even neccessarily agree with what you're saying, I've generally felt the exact opposite during my playthrough. With all this family loyalty and fighting crack pushers and trying to make the best of a crooked society, I've felt like this is a much less visciously nihilistic game than Vice City was. Tommy Vercetti was a amoral psycopath looking to make his fortune by any method available to him and he was surrounded by the pointlessly viscious and/or utterly artificial dregs of the cocaine society. CJ, by contrast, actually seems like he'd be a decent guy if he wasn't caught in the middle of a gang war. Needless to say, I preferred Tommy.

ADDENDUM: If you aren't absolutely dying to play this game and own a decent PC, feel free to wait for the PC version. The autotargetting in this game SUX AYASS.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Wed Nov 03, 2004 6:42 pm

The funniest dammn thing about VC was playing in another character. my kid put in the cheat code for a skinny black chick with a big red hat and I was ROLLING! Looked like she was just out of church with her red dress and sunday hat and here she was running through Miami shooting cops and doing hookers.

THE
WELL, I THOUGHT
IT WAS FUNNY
AARDVARK

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Wed Nov 03, 2004 7:49 pm

AArdvark wrote: a skinny black chick with a big red hat and I was ROLLING! Looked like she was just out of church with her red dress and sunday hat and here she was running through Miami shooting cops and doing hookers.

Mom?

Bruce

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 10:43 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:OK, actually, this game IS evil and I wouldn't want my kids (if I had some) to be anywhere near this game.

The game drops an n-bomb approximately three times every two seconds in the cut scenes. There's one scene where the "good" guys all get together, realize they have nothing to do and decide to go out and kill twenty other black people. They flip-flop between getting a bucket of chicken and just commiting twenty unprovoked homicides.

GTA3 and Vice City were violent games, but it was all ha-ha violence, mostly. This game is perfectly fine for people over 18 (well, over 15, 16, whatever) but I don't think an 11 year old kid is ready for it. In my opinion, I mean, I wouldn't want to legislate it or anything.

You pussy. When you have kids you are going to let them watch hardcore pornagraphy just to spite Lieberman.

Souffle of Pain · Post by **Souffle of Pain** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 7:26 pm

Knuckles the CLown wrote:You pussy. When you have kids you are going to let them watch hardcore pornagraphy just to spite Lieberman.

When did Jones turn into Tom Chick?

PS, Jones, you can stock up on the hardcore pornography now for later, when you'll need it. If you're following me, I mean.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!