Perlman Family + Holiday Season = :(

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 12:58 pm

Well, let's take a tally on how the holiday season's been treating the Perlmans (my paternal grandparents) lately!

Jan. 3, 2003: David Parrish, their first-born son, dies of prostate cancer!

December 22, 2004: Larry Perlman, their OTHER son, dies of heroin overdose!

What can be learned from these terribly unfortunate occurrences?

GOD HATES JEWS.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 2:05 pm

Sorry to hear that, man.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 2:44 pm

Well, if Larry had ended up living longer than DP, I was gonna be REAL pissed off. So, way to go, Larr. Good timing.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:26 pm

These people are 84+ years old, and have lost both their children in various disgusting ways over the last 23.5 months. Here I'll collect a compendium of kind thoughts which you'll all express to them to let them know that more people than they know are out there thinking about them, or at least pretending to think of them and making up some nice-sounding crap.

Begin now, or email me at ben@sonowthen.net.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:28 pm

Also, include real name and city/state/country, if able.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:35 pm

Also, Ben, I think you should overdose... on life!!!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:38 pm

I should add, I'm not just looking for "sorry for your loss. - Jack Straw". I'm looking for creative, eloquent expressions of compassion and grief which one would expect from such a fantastically wordsmithy group of battle rapers such as yourselves.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:41 pm

Okay, this is NOT what I'm looking for:

Roses are red, violets are blue.. your first son is dead... this makes number two!

- Adam LeSchack, Los Angeles, CA

God · Post by **God** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:49 pm

Well no offense, but I really can't stand Jews.

-- G-d

chris · Post by **chris** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 8:20 am

Why do both of their sons have different last names?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 12:53 pm

David Perlman changed his name to David Parrish right before Ben Parrish was born, so people wouldn't know Ben Parrish was a filthy Jew.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 5:53 pm

pinback wrote:David Perlman changed his name to David Parrish right before Ben Parrish was born, so people wouldn't know Ben Parrish was a filthy Jew.

Shh, G-d might hear you.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 7:27 pm

Today's round-table discussions have completely mystified me. First, there was a movie review that sounded like the first 2 paragraphs accidentally got deleted, a new gimmick poster calling out another anonymous poster like this was a thesis debate for a full scholarship to Miss U, and now a call for condolences for people none of us know, by someone who most of us don't know. Are you all high?

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 7:46 pm

Vitriola wrote:Are you all high?

High on CHRISTMAS SPIRIT*!!!!!!!!!

*Heroin

Mr Banzai · Post by **Mr Banzai** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 9:10 pm

'Tis the season to be jolly

fa la la la la, la la la la

Death on OD, so very solly

fa la la la la, la la la la la

-- Mr Banzai, Tokyo

slightly_funnier · Post by **slightly_funnier** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 10:24 pm

pinback wrote:Okay, this is NOT what I'm looking for:

Roses are red, violets are blue.. your first son is dead... this makes number two!

- Adam LeSchack, Los Angeles, CA

Roses are red, violets are blue/your two sons are dead/and you'll soon be too!

Mr Banzai wrote:'Tis the season to be jolly

fa la la la la, la la la la

Death on OD, so very solly

fa la la la la, la la la la la

-- Mr Banzai, Tokyo

'Tis the season to be jolly

fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra

Dead from OD, me so solly

fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 10:26 pm

This is my last post here.

I am outta here. Forever.

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:36 pm

I need hangers, if you are diving up their stuff.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Dec 26, 2004 3:50 pm

Well, I'd like to thank everyone who helped out with this.

I'd like to, but unfortunately and predictably, only one of you emotional midget sourpusses had the decency to help me out with this.

Every time I think you all suck as hard as you can possibly suck, you go ahead, take a deep breath, blow it out, and outdo yourselves.