One of the Bruces, his lovely wife and their three dogs were in Colorado recently. Because I am the sort of person, as of late, who can barely be bothered to write more than two trollable sentences if he managed to jump rope on Mars, I thought I'd break that habit and write about the experience.
Unfortunately, I remember very little othe than the fact that we were at a Tap House and shit kept blowing over. However, I will provide three images and you guys can tell me which you think is longer than the length of Bruce's current beard:
Exhibit 1: a shellelagh.
Exhibit 2: this long-ish snake

Exhibit 3: the Eifel Tower

Regardless of what you pick, it IS impressive, and Bruce's Beard needs an account.