The Future of This BBS

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed May 18, 2005 8:27 am

I've spent an inordinate number of hours out of the past 16 or so doing something which was originally intended to be a pointless, painless way of killing some time in my boredom-infested existence as I wait for the sun to go down so I can turn the blue lights and the fog machine on:

Masturbating.

But then in between bouts, I also tooled over here to the good ol' JC BBS and diddled away in the Best Of base, where I was struck with several startling realizations:

1. It has been nearly an entire year since any thread on this BBS even had the faintest whiff of being put into the Best Of base.

2. Holy crap, is there some funny, amazing, creative, fantastic, brilliant, unbelievable stuff in there. Stuff which took actual effort to put together, stuff with some real angry energy and harmful intent to it. Some really great stuff.

3. I was sad to have to leave that base and come back into the unlocked sections of the site. The "real world", if you will.

4. That Matedire, man. What a shitstain.

Therefore, I am here to implore you (I hesitate to use the word "demand" because I am fairly certain that Larry King will not give it to me), and also myself, to, in the immortal words of the guy who I've recently been reminded called Signs a better movie than Magnolia: PUMP IT UP!

Look, we've all got things going on in our own lives. Jonsey's settling into a new job, and also trying to make a small triangle change direction. Me, I'm busy hiding in a cube 10 hours a day playing with thumbtacks and inventing fictitious women. Vitriola is trying to mate snakes with cats. Worm is AIMing me about Pyro II and random porn links all day. Lysander's blind.

But come on, people. PUMP IT UP. You all know me. You all know that life to me is an endless nightmare from which my only brief respites are sleep, glorious sleep, and the moment that first pint of rum drips lovingly down my godforsaken throat. But it would make me happy... yes, actually, stunningly, improbably happy if we could come up, somehow, with a thread in the next month or so, worthy of being posted there among the greats in the Best Of base.

I know you -- we -- can do it. It's been done before. Granted, not without a firm disagreement about a movie between Robb and I, or else Knuckles retelling a story about being served bad food by sourpus waitstaff with skin conditions. But as sure as the sun is going to set tonight, and Lysander is blind LOL!!, I know we can make it happen.

Can we make it happen?

Let's make it happen, okay?

k. roo · Post by **k. roo** » Wed May 18, 2005 8:45 am

BEST OF!

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Wed May 18, 2005 9:09 am

It never gets old for you, does it? Here's a thought, RobB, why not make a text filter like the Vega$ thing, only instead of having it say that everything in Vegas stays in Vegas, add a (LOL!) to the end of the phrase "Lysander is blind LOL!!." I think that would help put things into perspective for the kids around here.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed May 18, 2005 10:03 am

Lysander wrote:It never gets old for you, does it?

That's your "thing." We all have "things" we can't control about ourselves and it's cause for the rest of us to be RELENTLESS. You can't pick your "thing." For instance:

Ben: a drunk who will soon commit suicide, cooks octopii
Bruce: owns a sentient, malevolent beard
Worm: prude
Roody: sickle-waving, card-carrying communist
Walrustitty: just generally hated and reviled
Vitriola: unable to distinguish between Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom on TV in home and home
Knuckles: spells at a level comparable to that of a third grader, countless others

Anyway, this only means we like you and your thing is that Lysander is blind LOL!!.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Wed May 18, 2005 2:23 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Bruce: owns a sentient, malevolent beard

I'm sorry, guys.

While this used to be the case it isn't anymore (go to page 4).

Bruce

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed May 18, 2005 2:53 pm

Can you describe those pictures textually, for our friend Lysander, who is blind?

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Wed May 18, 2005 4:09 pm

pinback wrote:Can you describe those pictures textually, for our friend Lysander, who is blind?

LOL!

I mean, in the first one, I have a big manly beard, 8 inches long or so. And in the second one I have a little faggoty 1/4" beard.

Bruce

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Thu May 19, 2005 2:48 pm

Holy shit, are any of you NOT suffering from male pattern baldness?

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Thu May 19, 2005 2:56 pm

Knuckles the CLown wrote:Holy shit, are any of you NOT suffering from male pattern baldness?

No, sir, I am not. But thank you for asking.

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Thu May 19, 2005 3:11 pm

I'm fine too, thanks. I have in fact done some charity work; they can escape into a virtual world in which they have my hair, by playing Necrotic Drift.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Thu May 19, 2005 3:55 pm

Knuckles the CLown wrote:Holy shit, are any of you NOT suffering from male pattern baldness?

I'm not suffering from it.

Bruce

chris · Post by **chris** » Thu May 19, 2005 4:20 pm

bruce wrote:While this used to be the case it isn't anymore (go to page 4).

Bruce

You look better with the shorter beard....less Nick Francesco-ey (ie: computer guy on local TV)

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 20, 2005 8:12 am

Knuckles the CLown wrote:Holy shit, are any of you NOT suffering from male pattern baldness?

Not I.

Pinback - if you're looking for some real rage, vitriol, hate, anger and downright meanness - go check out some of my posts over at Groucho.org

nessman · Post by **nessman** » Fri May 20, 2005 8:17 am

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri May 20, 2005 12:30 pm

Well, I hereby declare PUMP IT UP WEEK officially over.

As we succeeded in generating a fantastically funny, well-written thread in Base #3, as well as apparently causing the sysop to have some sort of psychotic break, I'd have to consider it a rousing success!

Tune in next week, when a couple of off-handed comments in the politics base drive Worm to kill his whole family, gouge out their eyes, and mail the eyes to Lysander. Who is blind. (LOL!)