ICJ will review you people's television

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 4:30 pm

Getting from one room to the next is a difficult process for me as I had major surgery on Monday to replace the ACL I tore being black. I didn't plan for this very well. If I were smart I'd have bought the next two Red Dwarf DVDs, picked up a "24" disc from Netflix and been able to more -or-less avoid the reprehensible crap on television that I'm blaming all of you for.

"Isn't it madness to blame us... people who don't even WATCH that much TV... for TV?"

Yeah, whatever, I'm the crazy one, boooOOoOOO!!!!!!!! YIPS YIPS YIPS. I haven't enjoyed a tv show since the Saints beat the Panthers in the last game of the regular season last year.

COMMERCIALS: if anything, they have gotten worse in the last 6 months. They know they are supposed to be annoying and have EMBRACED IT. I can't think of any examples, but I hate every one of them except the one where they trot out this strawberry blonde in different outfits and hairstyles and she keeps telling you that "It's all about the 'O'." A commercial reminding you to make your girlfriend come. That's great. You're all doing a great job making these ads. And the stupid Fantastic Four movie, which I will never see, has cross-promoted itself with the NBA Championships AND ... **AND** the All-Star game. There should be a limit as to how many rigged sporting events a shitty movie can be linked to. That game they based on the movie looks pretty solid as well, to motards.

ESPN: A wasteland. That guy who raps, badly, to introduce the "Greatest of All Time" shows that they do? Still a career-ending performance. I don't mean to be racist, but there is the (awful, terrible) rapper who has the camera right in his fucking face and then three or four other black guys in the background and they are all wearing SUIT COATS AND BACKWARDS FITTED BASEBALL HATS. But this is all acceptable because black guys are just that wacky. Whatever.

THE MLB ALL-STAR GAME: I was rooting for the NL since the Jays have no shot this year. The AL killed them. Everyone's favorite Boston homer started rattling off the guys who you can't have an all-star game without (Jeter, Ichiro, etc.) and casually throws in David Ortiz in there. David Ortiz!!! Like everyone else doesn't see him extending even his legendary homer status with that one. And he never gets called on this shit. Very, very stupid. The all-star game was a waste of time and only barely helped me kill time till the next pain pill.

SEED OF CHUCKY: Well... it didn't disappoint. More Jennifer Tilly you can't have without a permit. I understand my brother is right now rolling his eyes wondering why I am chatting up some fat chick in probably the stupidest line of movies of all-time. I don't know either. Never tear your knee ligaments, Mikey... .do you hear me!?!?!?

(Seed of Chucky gets 1.5 stars out of 5.)

ARTHROSCOPIC SURGERY: I'll be 32 by the time I am able to play hockey again and I am going to play like somebody who got both of his legs magically re-attached. This is one step above voodoo and I hate it and I guess I sort of went off on everyone during "Trash" last night. Sorry for that.

NHL/NHLPA AGREEMENT: Are we agreed?!!?!!!!!! I don't know!!!!!! ^_________________^ What a bunch of maggots. ANd just assign Crosby to the Rangers and get it over with. Don't insult us by pretending Buffalo or Columbus has a shot.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 4:40 pm

Mythbusters is on 9 EST, that's a guddin.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 4:40 pm

ICJ wrote: Some rambling incoherent shit.

Sooo......that Vicodin treating you right, Jonsey?

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 4:43 pm

Worm wrote:Mythbusters is on 9 EST, that's a guddin.

HUU I HAVE A STUPID BEARD HERE IS FAKE SHIT!!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 4:43 pm

bruce wrote:
ICJ wrote: Some rambling incoherent shit.
Sooo......that Vicodin treating you right, Jonsey?

Bruce

You're doing a great job programming TV.

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:28 pm

MORE NARCOTIC-ADDLED ICJ POSTING, PLEASE.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:25 am

Bugs wrote:MORE NARCOTIC-ADDLED ICJ POSTING, PLEASE.

The advances you have made in programming local TV after the all-star game (first time Ihave seen the local news in probably 7 years) is awesome. Still rounding up four people who awkwardly communicate with each other and say things like "HEY JOHN HOW ABOUT A BREAK FROM THIS WEATHER" "OKAY BILL IF YOU GIVE US A BREAK FROM THESE ROCKIES!!!!" even though they work together every fucking day is amazing. If I'm not cracking actual jokes with my co-workers within 10 work days then it's time to check if I or them are autistic. Meanwhile they find the most socially inept fuckers in every city and make them read the news to you. The fact that The Naked News made local news obsolete yet local news is STILL ON THE AIR angers me very much, Bugs