Serves one. The loneliest number.
For the fish
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- 1 rockfish fillet, or whatever the fuck they have at KS that looks edible.
- Banana, pineapple, mango, whatever tropical fruits you can get.
- Clarified butter.
- Unclarified butter.
- Juice of 1 lime.
- A couple tablespoons of coconut milk, which I am assuming is freshly made because you have no fucking life and nothing better to do with your time than make your own fucking coconut milk, you LOSER.
- Two eggs, beaten.
- Some flour.
- Toasted almond pieces
1. Ignore an email you received on Yahoo Personals because they didn't provide a picture OR a profile.
2. Get stalked over Yahoo Messenger for the next week, as this strange person keeps trying to tickle your fancy.
3. Begrudgingly agree to a dinner/movie date with this person, because they seem interesting/less-than-300-lbs-ish enough to go out with.
4. Spend said dinner/movie evening with them having a wonderful time, laughing, trading off idiotic-joke for idiotic-joke the way you thought nobody else could ever do.
5. Actually realize this is the first fucking date you've been on in your 33-year old life that you genuinely liked and enjoyed the female involved. The first, ever.
6. Spend the next day absolutely incredulous and mystified as it seems that once again, the date has decided to stop replying to emails after the face-to-face meeting, even though I thought she was having a great time, and I was certainly putting on the BEST front that I think I ever will on a first date sort of situation.
7. Come to the drunken, depressed conclusion that, if this didn't work, there is no chance anything will ever work, so FUCK EVERYTHING. Fuck motherfucking everything.
8. Heat 2 tbsp of clarified butter in a pan.
9. Dredge fish in flour, dip into egg, and saute for a couple minutes a side to brown the batter.
10. Add lime juice, coconut milk, 1/2 stick (regular) butter, bring to boil and continue cooking until fish is cooked through and bananas are soft.
11. Transfer fish to plate, top with fruit, sauce, and toasted almonds.
For rice
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1. Cook one cup rice in 1 cup OJ, 1 cup chicken stock, salt & white pepper.
2. After cooked, mix in 1/4 cup grated fresh coconut (I know you've got it. What the fuck else do you have to do with your godforsaken time on this miserable plane of existence?) and 1 tbsp butter. Steam for a little while longer.
3. Fold in 1 cup diced papaya.
Serve, taking care to savor every bite, realizing that this is pretty much destined to be the highlight of your pointless life.
Fuck everything.
