[Gamez Review] Dream Match Tennis

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 3:35 pm

The game: Dream Match Tennis

Here is a game which is impossible to criticize. It has an unassailable defense which provides an impenetrable barrier to negative commentary. Here, watch as I attempt to criticize the game:

First of all, this game is as bare bones as can be. I mean, it's got one mode, "Exhibition", where you just play one match, win or lose. Then the other mode, "Challenge", which just means you play four matches in a row. That's it. That's the whole game. In 2005, how can a game developer think that this is acceptab---- IT'S $4.95.

See how it did that? Watch, I'll try again...

And even in "challenge" mode, since there are only four characters, and you have to play four matches, in one of the matches you're PLAYING YOURSE---- IT'S $4.95.

Damn. That is one tough nut. But I think I can crack it.

Also, nice job on the variety of gameplay options. Let's see, you can play with a big ball or a small ball, aaaaand.... well, that's about i---- $4.95.

Shit. Well, I give up.

The good parts of the game are, the sound is excellent, the gameplay (what there is of it) is HIGHLY satisfying, and is actually the best tennis simulation I've ever played on a computer, and I've played three, one of which was Pong. And of all the other indie games I've mentioned recently on this site so far, with the exception of Trash, I've played Dream Match Tennis more than all the others combined.

...and it's only $4.9---- $4.95!!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 8:31 pm

"Dream Match"? What kind of gayness is that? I'm surprised it wasn't $2.14.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 5:09 am

Fuck that, the name of the company is BIMBOOSOFT, for god's sake. Can you believe that? BIMB-- $4.95!!

TRUTH · Post by **TRUTH** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 12:54 pm

In the best of all possible worlds, Pinback would be cloned, bottled, and then distributed to depressed frowny-faced people starving for some goddamn laughs.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 06, 2005 1:35 am

Do u have full version or cracked? This game is quite good.
Please send me if sb have it: hmcp3005@yahoo.com.
Thanks alot.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Thu Oct 06, 2005 3:56 am

It was so hard for ICJ to take "tits" and "twat" out of the meta data. Now you're going to have him remove "cracks" and "phreakers"?

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Thu Oct 06, 2005 3:14 pm

phreak you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:31 pm

And mr. Guest wanted a crack for this game ?
It's #$%^ $ 4.95 .. go buy it dude !

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 7:39 pm

You know the best things in life are free
And if they're free why don't you give it to me
Free cocaine, free cocaine
Gimme the things that drive me insane
Teenage women and free cocaine
I want some free cocaine
From my man who went to high school
Abel said to Cain
Momma was a groupie out on Donovan's brain for
Free cocaine, free cocaine
Pussy, carbohydrates, sometimes acid rain
I just want a sniff of your free cocaine
You know the best things in life are free
And if they're free why don't you give it to me
Free cocaine, free cocaine
I want the 31 flavors, 69 years
I'll take 13 vials worth, I don't care...