The Backstory: Worm, CGG, and I successfully start a 3-player free-for-all multiplayer game on StarCraft Battle.Net. A momentous occasion, as we'd all struggled for weeks in trying to get this going! There we were, three friends, happy for our success in getting to finally play this game together! Congratulatory messages flew from player to player before even the first unit had been built.
Then with the game in full swing, Worm makes the first offensive, which while valiant, does not quite succeed. I respond with a counterattack which does the job.
If he had said "Ah, nicely done! Well, see you, chums!" or had said "Hehe, I'll get you next time Gadget! Laters homes" or had said even "gg", then none of this would have had to happen. But what he did instead what launch into full petulant child mode, began hurling gross obscenities at both of the remaining players, and then quickly logged off without even seeing fit to send the remainder of his army at me. The attack had just BEGUN, and he was cursing us and stomping off. No "see you". No "laters homes". Just vulgarities and silence.
And that was just the beginning, because the stuff he has posted on this BBS since then is even more unbelievable, inexcusable, and disgusting. Let's dissect!
His first defense here is that we had trouble with the technology. What this has to do with him getting his supposedly hardened-gamer ass trounced in five minutes I have no idea. Perhaps if this strategy doesn't work, he'll resort to calling my mother a whore, which, too late, I already did it.Everybody dives out to pick out a copy because you want to play, and you can't even properly configure your game for hosting.
Dead serious! CGG, maybe you can back me up on this, but until Worm's weasel-like tirade began, we were all having the grandest of times! /msging bon mots all around, making jokes about who we were going to gang up on and when (even though none of us even had built any units by that point), and some of us were even enjoying vodka. This was far from dead serious. If you are insinuating that we weren't in "let's not click on any of our guys for ten minutes while we let Worm build up his army for his vaunted "Zerg rush", then I guess we'll have to plead guilty, but those little guys are just so much fun to move around.you can't even be bothered to play in anything but 'dead serious' mode.
AAAAAAHHAHAAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAH! "HAHAHAHAH!" - Mr. Ha Ha Ha. That is the best. Here, for all of you at home, I will let you in on my "secrets of success" by reproducing for you here the ENTIRE TECH TREE which I have tacked above my computer and which I used in the attack which spelled the end of Worm's pitiful involvement in our game:and I don't have the tech tree tacked above my computer like you.
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WORM-KILLIN' TECH TREE
1. Build gateway.
2. Build cybernetic core.
3. Make some guys.
I trained! I TRAINED! Did you hear that, folks! I TRAINED to get this good! Here now is entire history of my rigorous MULTIPLAYER TRAINING which I have engaged in to bring me to this grand level of skill!it only reaches legendary levels of being a dick when you train
1. Once I set a skirmish game on "auto" and watched what the computer did for five minutes.
2. That one time we all got in that game that was too slow so we quit.
3. Two other Battle.Net games, one of which consisted of three guys who had done nothing else but play SC every minute for the past nine years, and me. I had built one barracks by the time they had literally built 20. Literally. I did not learn much from this one, I admit.
Yes, it was only through hard, exhausting MINUTES of training that I was able to defeat Worm's grand strategy, which consisted of:
1. Building six Zerglings and sending them to their doom.
2. Building six more and sending them to the same fate.
3. Whining.
Why, that's quite kind of you to say! It is also utterly laughable, and would have been even moreso if you'd had a chance to see what happened AFTER you left. I built up a larger army and sent 'em all right at CGG! I did a lot of damage, but he held on and eventually took out the last of my guys with his SCVs, believe it or not.Pinner. Who suprisingly devoted a disportionate amount of time to getting good at it.
The entire HOUR after that was spent with both of us pretty much unable to do anything because of lack of resources. Yes, these were two MASTERMINDS at work here, messaging back and forth "I don't have anything, you should come finish me off", "No, I I don't have anything... can we both forfeit??" It was the ultimate in RTS patheticity (your moaning and juvenility notwithstanding). It was only because of a very LAME, PITIFUL move on my part (abandoning my original base and setting up shop in Worm's now-abandoned base) that I was able to build up at least some semblance of force and mercifully put an end to the proceedings. But a meeting of strategic geniuses this was not.
Let's put that to the test. Hey, CGG, answer these two questions for me, and I'll respond in turn:it's not fun unless you get good at it
1. Are you good at it?
2. Did you have fun?
Just in case he wasn't pathetic enough, this last complaint that it was the TIME OF DAY which caused him to flame out, both in the game, and in the eyes of anyone who was hoping for even a faint glimmer of maturity.I can't deal with this only 11 o'clock or later shit either, so it's really moot.
In summary: LOSER.
