Worst Thing Since Hitler

pinbacker · Post by **pinbacker** » Fri Sep 28, 2007 3:52 pm

There was a little dog-adoption thing set up outside the Whole Foods last weekend. Very little, as in, they only had one little pen, and were trying to adopt out just two little dogs.

That may be as bad as, say, Goering, but here's what really Hitler-sized that happy meal:

The sign on the pen was "VEGGIE DOGS FOR ADOPTION -- MUST REMAIN VEGGIE!"

Veggie fucking dogs. Forgoing for the moment the issue of how the hell they were going to ensure that the owners were going to keep them on strict diet of EcoDouche-brand Grilled Hemp & Recycled Cardboard Feast, even forcing a dog to go on this diet in the FIRST place, as a PUPPY, is an outrage the likes of which I haven't seen since the last thing I said was the biggest outrage ever, likely involving either Tiger '08 or the price of cherry tomatoes at Vons ($4.99 for a tiny little plastic container-full, you bastards.)

I looked one of the puppies in the eye, long and hard. One word seemed to emanate from his glazed, malnutritioned eyes: "US."

I said, "Us? What the hell does that mean? What sort of word is that to psychically read from the meager mental powers of a small, hippie canine?"

I stood there contemplating this for a while, until the other puppy walked up just to the left of the first one, and when I saw the word "KILL" in his eyes, I realized what they were trying to tell me.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Sep 28, 2007 5:20 pm

I really don't understand why vegetarians have to, in a lot of cases, force their views on other people. You know what, maybe there are a million cases of vegetarians being forced to eat meat in social settings, but I doubt it.

It's a DOG. It can't make decisions for itself because: dog. How fucking insane do you have to be to not only:

1) Try to raise a vegetarian dog
2) Try to adopt out a vegetarian dog
3) Try to ensure that the owners of a dog are vegetarian
4) Try to ensure that the vegetarian owners of a dog will, against all common sense, try to keep the dog vegetarian

Why? WHY? That thing is not going to magically refuse meat if it comes across a steak rind when it escapes (and it will) at age seven.

Fucking dog owners, man. I'm glad we started this base. There's a lot of this shit out there and I'm glad the insanity is coming to light. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fluff the quiche for one of Dayna's snakes.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Fri Sep 28, 2007 8:24 pm

pinbacker · Post by **pinbacker** » Sat Sep 29, 2007 7:34 am

AArdvark wrote:How are the adoption people going to check up on the new owners keeping the veggie promise?

I said we were forgoing that issue for the moment! Can you read!?!?

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Sep 29, 2007 9:30 am

pinbacker · Post by **pinbacker** » Sat Sep 29, 2007 2:31 pm

AArdvark wrote:Well, how are the adoption people going to check up on WHOEVER get the dog?

We're forgoing that issue, god damn you!

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Sep 29, 2007 3:49 pm

Hey, just forget I posted anything.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:01 am

Hey, what happened here? Why did you edit out what you wrote? I thought it was very reasonable.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 7:59 am

We're forgoing that issue for the moment. I want to hear about who these people are that insist that the dogs remain vegans.

THE
TOTALLY UNNATURAL
AARDVARK

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:45 am

We adopted a dog last year, and under the terms of the adoption, we had to make sure he got neutured. I'm not sure what recourse the adoption group would have had if we didn't have it done, but at least one can make the argument that such a stipulation for adoption is reasonable.

Making a dog remain veggie? That's just stupid, but does not reflect poorly on any vegetarians other than the ones adopting out the dogs (assuming those people ARE vegetarian. Do we know that for a fact? Do we know WHY the dogs must remain veggie? Could there be a medical condition?).

Anyway, I know several veggies/vegans who are also pet owners. I've actually asked them about this before, the notion of making a pet go veggie/vegan, and they all roundly mocked such an idea. The argument goes, for the most part: Dogs and cats don't have nothing to follow but their instincts. We can't force a decision upon them. Humans can decide for themselves to be veggie/vegan and have the ability to understand the implications and properly nourish themselves.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:18 am

Would someone mind calculating the carbon footprint of owning a pet? Is everyone making sure to only use renewable sources of energy in connection with any pet related activities? Because surely, killing the planet isn't worth the ten minutes it takes to drive to costco to pick up a pack of flea collars with bells.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 1:19 pm

Hmmph. that is an interesting point. How much additional energy does it take to own a pet? Fish tank heaters* run round the clock, do they not? I bet whassisname, the Inconvenient Truth dude has already looked into something like this.

THE
PUPPY RUNS UP
THE RG&E BILL
AARDVARK

hygraed · Post by **hygraed** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 2:03 pm

You didn't really forget Al Gore's name, did you?

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:12 pm

Yes, and will try again right now.

THE
DOOOOOOOOOOO
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:54 pm

Audience: Ohhhhh!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 1:38 am

AArdvark wrote:We're forgoing that issue for the moment.

Is your boss a doggie-vegetarian? Is that what this was?

Did I ever tell you guys what the old JC poster Nessman did? He went back and edited all his posts, because he almost exclusively posted horrible things on the Internet he didn't want anyone with any power over him to read. He also played the Devil's Advocate more than not, so a lot of that stuff wasn't indicative of his true feelings.

That's more or less the history of edited posted on this BBS.

nessman · Post by **nessman** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:15 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
AArdvark wrote:We're forgoing that issue for the moment.
Is your boss a doggie-vegetarian? Is that what this was?

Did I ever tell you guys what the old JC poster Nessman did? He went back and edited all his posts, because he almost exclusively posted horrible things on the Internet he didn't want anyone with any power over him to read. He also played the Devil's Advocate more than not, so a lot of that stuff wasn't indicative of his true feelings.

That's more or less the history of edited posted on this BBS.

This is entirely true. Also the sysop of said BBS had to lock it own big time as his wife was also a co-worker of mine - lest it get out her husband ran said hive of scum and villanry.

Ah such fun days. All because some fucktwat wanted my job.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 7:55 pm

Nowadays if you want to post something really private you have to log in to one of our telnet BBSes, where you can say anything you want and no one will ever, ever see it (until Tdarcos cuts and re-pastes it here the following day).

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 8:26 pm

Nessman is great, and I hope that he stays with us and makes this a better place than it otherwise would be.

Our group project ought to be getting some revenge on the piece of shit that went crying to his boss years ago.

nessman · Post by **nessman** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 8:54 pm

Facebook is fine for staying in touch with old friends - but everyone is too easily offended these days. It's nice to have an alternative outlet to spew vitriol once in a while.

Hey RobB - didn't you once upon a time port all of the original JC BBS posts somewhere - or made it available via telnet? Thought it'd be fun to go back 20 years.