Emily.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Sun Jan 26, 2003 3:09 am

Integral & Lowtax: Splitsville! What a shocking turn of events!

Let me just run this one past you, though:

Emily "Integral" Parrish.

Nice, huh?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jan 26, 2003 4:11 am

I think that was a hoax.

You really need a forums account, you know.

Actually, maybe not. I think that you would be banned within a couple days there. That is what I predict, unless you lurked the entire time or something like that. I would hate to see you get banned. Though you would probably do so in an extremely funny manner.

(Another benefit is that you get to see the Photoshop I recently did in the "Dumb Down Movie Posters" thread, which is apparently not going up as a Photoshop Friday for some reason.)

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Sun Jan 26, 2003 7:42 am

I Am In A Game

Give Me An Account.

But I was considering posting that, when I read it last night. I guess I just didn't know if it were a hoax or not.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jan 26, 2003 7:47 am

I thought you (Lex) said you had several??

Mail me with what you want your username and password and all that shit to be.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Sun Jan 26, 2003 2:49 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I think that was a hoax.

I don't think it was.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Mon Jan 27, 2003 12:16 am

For those of us arriving late to PLANET PARRISH AND JONSEY, I'd just like to plaintively ask,

<b>What the fuck?</b>

Bruce

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Jan 27, 2003 1:22 am

So do I have to visit SA to get the joke? I just went there to check the Hentai reviews and now am looking for a place to download Battle Raper ... I probably will visit it in about a year ... someone mind explaining the joke?

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Mon Jan 27, 2003 4:02 am

Saturday's (or maybe Friday's) update, written by Emily, stated (in inimitably humorous terms) that she and Rich Kyanka had split, and she'd moved back to Wisconsin.

Since Jonsey is unable to distinguish between fiction and fact in an online context, he thought this was a hoax, when in fact, it obviously was not. The reason he doesn't understand this is that he's never been successful at perpetrating any sort of online hoax, so he doesn't know what one looks like, and what one does NOT look like.

There is theory behind this, but since I am nearly certain it is far above any of your capacities to understand, I'll just go back to my 1.5l bottle of bad vodka and watch The Bob Newhart Show. Fuck all y'all.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Jan 27, 2003 6:58 pm

So, where can I get Battle Raper?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jan 27, 2003 7:04 pm

Ben wrote:Since Jonsey is unable to distinguish between fiction and fact in an online context, he thought this was a hoax, when in fact, it obviously was not. The reason he doesn't understand this is that he's never been successful at perpetrating any sort of online hoax, so he doesn't know what one looks like, and what one does NOT look like.

Hands, please, of those people who thought the old PWC BBS poster Al-Muntaqim was me before I said otherwise.

Thank you. I rest my case.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Tue Jan 28, 2003 3:17 am

Hands, please, of those people who thought the old PWC BBS poster Al-Muntaqim was me before I said otherwise.

Hands, please, of those people who think going on a bulletin board frequented by the same three people for two years and making up a funny character counts as executing an "internet-based hoax".

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 28, 2003 4:44 am

Thanks. Now we're not going to know whose hands denote what.

Anyway, did you make a move yet? For the girl, I mean. She's not going to stay "single" forever, you know. You're a Man of Leisure -- take a trip out there and make it fucking happen!

(Oh, and if, when you do your taxes this year, you put "Gentleman of Leisure" in permanent ink for your job description, and send it into the government that way I will personally turn the name of this BBS to "The Monto Rusa Companion Twiddler" for a period of no less than one full earth week.)

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Tue Jan 28, 2003 11:40 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Thanks. Now we're not going to know whose hands denote what.

My hands denote that I'm masturbating furiously.

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 28, 2003 6:38 pm

After reading today's update:

Geez, maybe you're right, Ben. Though how you would know it and not me... well... that's just not right. And I know that you are not secretly on the SA forums, because if you were you would troll the living fuck out of me in a way you can only wish to do here.

Additionally, things'd be a lot more entertaining and interesting on here if I updated more than once a month, now wouldn't it?

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Tue Jan 28, 2003 6:50 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Geez, maybe you're right, Ben.

Of course I'm right. The fact that you assumed that it was a hoax was shocking and disappointing to me. I always looked up to you as being the ONE person on the internet who was nearly as sharp as me in detecting deceit and the lack thereof in the context of online dealings.

Now, that respect is gone.

I truly have no more heroes.

Additionally, things'd be a lot more entertaining and interesting on here if I updated more than once a month, now wouldn't it?

Yes, but the second that I start demanding that you update things more than once a month here, I will start feeling guilty for not updating more than once a month on my own website (which, for those of you interested in Being Ben Parrish, I do not.)

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jan 28, 2003 7:01 pm

Ben wrote:Of course I'm right. The fact that you assumed that it was a hoax was shocking and disappointing to me. I always looked up to you as being the ONE person on the internet who was nearly as sharp as me in detecting deceit and the lack thereof in the context of online dealings.

Now, that respect is gone.

I truly have no more heroes.

i still fight crime

Yes, but the second that I start demanding that you update things more than once a month here, I will start feeling guilty for not updating more than once a month on my own website (which, for those of you interested in Being Ben Parrish, I do not.)

Well, one of us is going to have to step it up.

Actually, looking back, it's been months since I've written anything new for JC. The last 7 updates or so are from you guys. Maybe... maybe I've lost "it." Whatever "it" is. "It's" gone, apparently. I can't even say, "Ah, well, we had a good run and everybody got laid," because dammit, everybody didn't. Ach, sacre bleu!

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Tue Jan 28, 2003 7:09 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:i still fight crime

But I like crime!!