Defcon Nite: Winners & Losers

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 11:45 am

Well, the maiden voyage of Defcon Nite is over. There were some ups and downs, but taken all together, for a first time attempt, I'd say that even though there were a few glitches here and there, still at the end, it was a complete and utter failure in every respect.

Now let's do one of those time-worn, time-weathered, time-honored, dumbass traditions of listing the Winners & Losers!

WINNER

Me, in the two games any collection of the contestants were able to complete. This is of no importance though, since the point was just to have fun.

LOSER

WORM. He did his usual "three days of bitching about GAME NITE before GAME NITE occurs", then finally decided to HONOR us with his presence at the last minute, and then COULDN'T EVEN FUCKING CONNECT TO THE SERVER, when everyone else in the universe could. Once again, Worm did his best to ruin GAME NITE, and it's easy to make a strong case that he succeeded.

WINNER

Hygraed, for having the stones and integrity to show up and give it his best shot, even though he had no idea what the hell he was doing.

LOSER

Robb Sherwin's internet connection. He got booted off five minutes into the first game, and continued to get booted off every five minutes thereafter during the entire evening. Only by having HIM host a game was any semblance of continuity established.

WINNER

Robb Sherwin, for never giving up, sticking with it, actually managing to have a good time, and even bought the game afterward, which bodes well for further DEFCON NITES.

FUCKING LOSERS

The unbelievable fucking man-child DICKNUTS over at the Defcon forum. Look at this thread. This is all you have to know.

WINNER

Robb Sherwin, for his post in the above thread, which hopefully will not have been deleted by the time you read this.

LOSER

WORM.

WINNER

DEFCON itself. Putting aside both its nearly unrivaled elegance and atmosphere, as well, as my own personal bias toward the game -- being EXACTLY the game that I have wanted since I was 13 years old, with that desire never wavering, even after the cold war ended and I grew up and got three dogs, each disabled in their own special way -- the deeper I delve into it, the more the genius of it shines through. Not as the deepest, most complex strategy game ever, but as a perfect mix of strategy, simplicity, fun, lack of micromanagement, and being able to complete an entire game in under 45 minutes, which is about all that people with 3 dogs (or 5 cats) have time for. It's a joy to play, it's a joy to watch, it's a joy to just experience, and it's the least frustrating strategy game to lose that I've ever played.

LOSER

Fucking WORM.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 12:12 pm

If my post doesn't get nuked (haw haw) for 12 hours I will get off demo mode and just buy the game. I think that is fair.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 12:16 pm

Oh, I thought you did buy the game.

BONUS WINNERS AND LOSERS
---------------------------------

LOSER

Robb, for insinuating he'd buy the game and now putting coniditions on it.

WINNER

The dude who, after our first game which featured me quietly executing my strategies, and Hygraed and ICJ having a spirited, amusing discussion in the chat window, spoke up right after I won just to say "pinback u r a noob, you suck for talking all that trash" and then left. That was his first, and only, contribution to the event, and it just put the proverbial RADIOACTIVE CHERRY on top of the NUCLEAR SUNDAE.

LOSER

WORM

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 12:19 pm

There was one guy who WAS a cool spectator, who was named after a Coheed song. Mother Superior? It was either that or he was named The Suffering, which actually, I will choose next time.

Anyway, that guy was laughing at my jokes, which is the minimum and maximum I expect/demand out of a spectator on Defcon.

Allright, here's the deal for my post: if it lasts for 12 hours I will buy it from them DIRECTLY (paying $5 more and giving them more of the money, I assume). If it's deleted in that time frame I will buy it from Steam.

savvyraven · Post by **savvyraven** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 12:42 pm

I'm confused. Am I a "Winner" or a "Loser"? Because I think I'm awesome!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 12:48 pm

savvyraven wrote:I'm confused. Am I a "Winner" or a "Loser"? Because I think I'm awesome!

Joshua's final insight should give you the answer to this.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:04 pm

savvyraven wrote:I'm confused. Am I a "Winner" or a "Loser"? Because I think I'm awesome!

On a scale of DEFCOM 5 to DEFCON 1, how pumped are you to join us next time?? You can be "Demo" guy, so it won't even cost you anything. Well, money, anyway.

Right now you are a winner, but by joining us... you can WIN. Also we need someone to "be" Africa

savvyraven · Post by **savvyraven** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:28 pm

I can be Africa. Right now, I look at myself as France. Calmly standing by watching the rest of the world go to ruin.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:32 pm

It's too bad the games are played at midnight eastern. That's the bewitching hour and I usually spend it as a zombie.

THE
IN BED
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:39 pm

They could potentially be moved to Sunday afternoon/evening. If that appeals to anyone.

savvyraven · Post by **savvyraven** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:18 pm

WOW! Defcon over Golf?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:27 pm

Never.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:35 pm

Well open your fucking ports pinner!