Flack's World O' Subs!

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 5:28 am

pinback wrote:If I may get back to the topic at hand, though. First of all, Jersey Mike's sucks the big one. I can't believe anyone with any sense would say it's significantly better than any other random sandwich chain.

In my defense, I live in a sandwich void. It's like proclaiming how good Taco Bell is at 2 in the morning when every other place around is closed. It's not "good" good, it's just good in comparison to all the places that are open at the time.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 6:40 am

AArdvark wrote:I went to a pizza buffet once.

I have come up with a scientific test to determine the quality of any pizza buffet, and here it is: the quality of any pizza buffet is the direct inverse of how many pizza toppings can be found on the salad bar. If the salad bar looks like a salad bar, you're probably okay. If there are pepperonis and Italian sausage on the salad bar, you might be in trouble. If they've replaced the cheddar cheese with mozzarella, are serving canned mushrooms instead of fresh ones and offer breadsticks instead of croutons ... look out.

Worst pizza buffet I ever went to was in Spokane. The wife and I went on opening day and ... there was no pizza. (I did have a nice salad with mozzarella cheese and canned mushrooms, however.) Finally a waitress comes by our table and asks us if we would like some meatballs. Now, this may be the most surreal thing anyone's ever asked me. "Okay," I said, just waiting to see what happened. The girl had a little basket and some tongs, set down two plates, and put one meatball on each one. By this point I was nearly rolling. I said, "I might be able to eat two," so she gave me a second one, and left. I think eventually some pizza arrived but the meatball girl was definitely the highlight.

One of our last remaining independent pizza buffets finally closed its doors a few months ago, and thank goodness. Where many pizza restaurants have tried to compete by making their products better, this place took the CiCi's route and decided to compete by having the absolute cheapest buffet in town. All you can eat, $2.99. Now I know what you're thinking, how can all you can eat pizza for $3 not be worth it? Trust me, I struggled with that demon all the time. Before I walked in I was like, "HOW CAN I NOT GO THERE" and every time I left I was like, "SPEND ANOTHER TWO BUCKS AND GO SOMEWHERE THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOUR STOMACH CRAMP AND GIVE YOU THE CHA-CHA-CHAS NEXT TIME DUMMY." Nothing like biting into a lump of spaghetti that's ice cold or a piece of pizza that you simply could not bite through the crust. The only redeeming thing about that place was that they had a Pole Position game by the front door. Every time I went there, all their televisions were showing Jerry Springer.

That leaves us with the usual suspects: Mazzio's, Pizza Hut, Pizza Inn ... three places I've worked at. Mazzio's wins the award for the best pizza and the worst buffet pizza. Pizza Inn is the cheap in and out place. Pizza Hut is okay if there are only four people in the place; any more than that and they can't handle the rush and you just sit around wondering why you just spent $6 on spaghetti and breadsticks because there's no pizza.

If there is a hell, they serve CiCi's Pizza. Why my kids love it, I'll never know. I greatly prefer a Red Baron or Tony's frozen pizza to that place.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 8:53 am

Jack Straw wrote:it DOESN'T MATTER. 100% beef is 100% beef.

Just sayin'... well, which do you prefer?

(Besides, "A proper cheesesteak does not have frozen steak sandwich meat in it. You maggot.")

That is true.

co · Post by co » Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:41 am

pinback wrote:Bay Cities Deli, in Santa Monica, CA

There's no way anything to eat in California is "the best" of anything, go back to your three hour commute through 20 miles of crappy tech parks please.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:43 am

In less than 24 hours, this thread now has more responses than Pinback's World O' Subs.

YOUR SUB IS SUNK PINBACK.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:47 am

I sunk his battleship ;)

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:25 pm

I drink YOUR milkshake.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:32 pm

There is a pizza buffet, sort of, called Woody's out here.

I think they call it "wood fired pizza." Sometimes it's okay. You have to go up and tell the guy what kind of pizza you want him to make. For whatever reason, they don't usually just have a pepperoni pie up there, but six hippie constructs that some idiot will take a single piece from, sweating because holding the plate hurts their carpel tunnel.

When it's bad at Woody's, it's BAD. Real bad. I think they have started to go out of business around Colorado. I don't see them much any more. I'm not sure where people are ordering their radish, pepper and red potato pies from.

Did everyone forget about the previous post about the peanut butter and jelly pizza? Yes? No? If so, I apologize for writing this paragraph.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:31 pm

CiCi's has the following pizzas regularly on their buffet:

BBQ
Buffalo Chicken
Mexican Style Ole'
Spinach Alfredo
Macaroni and Cheese (on a pizza)

... and plenty others. So while PB&J Pizza (PB&JP?) is a little odd, it's not that far off from the Mexican one (where they use beans instead of sauce) or the BBQ one (where they use a sauce/hot sauce mixture).

And by the way, I hate buffets where you have to ask them to cook things. We have one local Incredible Pizza/Celebration Station rip-off that's like that. They are doing so bad that every time we go, we're the only people there. When you walk in they're like ... "so, what do you like?" and you tell them and they bring it out. So weird. They also have around 50 arcade games, half of which are broken and they're doing so bad that they can't afford to have anyone fix them (believe me, lots of people have offered).

To bring this back 'round let me fire this shot across the bow: the best sandwich sauce, EVER, is "Alpine Italian Light" which is what Mazzio's uses on their sammiches. My mouth just watered a little typing that.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 2:57 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I drink YOUR milkshake.

You wish, maggot.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:05 pm

Little red meatball riding hood.

I have this image of the waitress wearing a red hood and cape with a wicker basket. The basket is lined with a red and white checked napkin and inside the basket are a pile of steaming meatballs. She skips tra-la-la- from table to table with her basket and meatball tongs (known as twongers) offering meatballs to all who would have them.

Meanwhile there is a serious lack of pizza. The pizza economy crumbles about our ears, millions of pastafazools are laid off and the government appeals to Italy to send us a pizza bailout---

Sorry, got out of control. I'll shut up now

THE
SO FAR OFF TOPIC
I MIGHT AS WELL BE
ON MOLTOBENNY
AARDVARK

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:07 pm

speaking of which, the antagonist in the book I'm rewriting is now known as Benny Molto

THE
NOW BACK
TO OUR
SCHEDULED TOPIC
ALREADY IN PROGRESS
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 2:20 pm

I will be consuming a Philly steak from the Philly steak place a few streets over because of FLACKS WORLD o' SUBS!

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 3:59 pm

pix plz.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 5:23 pm

I am going to order it in a bit, and I shall take pics for my friends, colleagues, and fellow Internet denizens when it arrives, but before I have shoved it down.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:43 pm

This is the beef sandwich I got in Chicago.

This is the meatball sub I got in Philly.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 9:48 pm

Every single beef on weck, good or bad, I've ever had, looked better than that pile of overcooked beef.

That meatball sub, though, looks positively BANGIN.
Man, now I want a beef on weck. Or your meatball sub.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:20 pm

I'm trying to find a decent photo-upload app for the iPhone so I can avoid plugging it into my computer.

Long story short: the fries were not cooked all the way, I got onions on it and later regretted it, and I don't think they use Cheez Whiz. I would give the sub a 1 out of 10.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:34 pm

Okay, this was it.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:33 pm

Seven of the fattiest sandwiches in the US. 2 are from Pittsburgh.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22145/799 ... iches-u-s-