An Adventure in Unix and Del Taco

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

ICJ: I want to delete from x to y in a text file, in Unix.
ICJ: But what do people use to delete shit out of a file?
Pinback: You can go into vi and type 4dd!
Pinback: Goodbye first four lines!
ICJ: Well, yes.
ICJ: But I need to do it through a cron job.
Pinback: AHHHHh.
Pinback: Okay.
Pinback: Well, let me tell you how to do that!

Pinback: But speaking of dd, how many calories would you guess is in a Double Down?
Pinback: It's two fried filets, stuffed with two slices of cheese, two bacons, and some sauce.
ICJ: 999.
ICJ: Wait.
ICJ: 530?

Pinback: 540!
Pinback: Not too bad!
Pinback: You could eat two of them and still not be at Del Taco Macho Meal levels.
ICJ: Perhaps. Perhaps!

Pinback: "Tom Everard, 24, a tourist from Manchester, England, was just plain perplexed. 'I'm so confused by it. It's not a sandwich without bread. What's next? It's a slippery slope.'"
Pinback: A slippery sandwich slope!
ICJ: A slopey joe!


Pinback: I went to Del Taco yesterday. Here's a list of restaurants I'd recommend you never, ever go to: 1. Del Taco
Pinback: It didn't help that I was in line behind the Most Annoying Woman In The World.
ICJ: >tell me about her.
Pinback: It was just me and her in the restaurant! JUST ME AND HER!
Pinback: And I held the door open for her, being a gentleman.
Pinback: LITTLE DID I KNOW.

ICJ: Oh my God.
Pinback: I described it as doing everything wrong you can possibly do at a fast food joint.
Pinback: I'll just hit the highlights.
ICJ: Sure, sure.

Pinback: #1: Go up to the cash register, then back up and stare at the big menu, and go "Ahhhh... let. me. seee... Ahhhh."
ICJ: nnghhhh
Pinback: #2. While you're figuring out ahhhh, what looks good to ya, start asking what everything is... "what's... what's, aaahh, the... "macho fries"? Is that... what's that?"
ICJ: /gets noose

Pinback: #3. After you've reviewed the entire menu, getting descriptions of every single item, ask for something that's not on it. "Can I , ahh, get a TWO taco meal? Or... just those THREE taco meals that I've been staring at for ten minutes?"
ICJ: /gets chair

Pinback: #4. Finally decide on something, but special order it in the strangest way possible. To explain:
ICJ: /gets on chair

Pinback: The "Classic Taco" has... a shell, meat, lettuce, cheese, sour cream, and tomatoes.
Pinback: She says...
Pinback: "Lemme, ahh, get a 'classic taco', but just with lettuce, cheese, sour cream... uh, and meat."
Pinback: Dude says "So, classic taco, no tomatoes?"
Pinback: "Aaahh, yeah."
ICJ: ...
ICJ: Backwards.
ICJ: She is - she is doing it backwards!
ICJ: /jumps off chair, shoots self in head with concealed weapon

Pinback: #5. When she's about done ordering random, aahh, things, her kid comes in. Now it's HIS turn to stare up at the big board and try to remember what restaurant he's in.

Pinback: (this gets BETTER)
Pinback: #6. They both appear to have come to a truce with the menu, and seemed to have completed their order....
ICJ: I ha- my god
Pinback: ...and then... the phone comes out.
ICJ: ...

Pinback: And now she's on the phone and says this: "Yeah, we're at Del Taco. What do you want from Del Taco? They got... tacos and burritos and stuff..."
ICJ: ...
ICJ: OH MY FUCKING GOD
Pinback: This actually happened.
Pinback: Still just me and her.
ICJ: No, it couldn't have.
ICJ: HOLY FUCK
Pinback: And I'm just standing there for 15 minutes while she orders dinner for her whole book club or whatever.
Pinback: Right.
Pinback: So that was that. Now, here's a couple epilogues:
Pinback: Someone else in the back finally takes pity, and comes to the register to take MY order.
Pinback: This is rendered more difficult than it should have been, because she's found this little "fill in this card for your chance at a free whatever" thing.
Pinback: So she's filling it out... forever... right in front of the register.

Pinback: So I'm having to navigate around her fat ass to talk to the cashier.
Pinback: She's BLOCKING MY WAY to the cashier.


Pinback: Epilogue to THAT epilogue: She finishes filling it out and then drops it in the box, and immediately calls someone over to ask them to take her card back out of the box because she put the wrong email address on it or something.
Pinback: So the dude has to reverse engineer the box to grab the card outta there.
Pinback: FINAL EPILOGUE:
ICJ: I ....
ICJ: Please.
Pinback: They pack up a bunch of food, and bring it to the counter, and say, "Order #22? #22?"

Pinback: It is just HER AND ME in the restaurant, and they've brought up six bags of shit, and she says:
ICJ: Sure
Pinback: "IS THAT ME??"
Pinback: Fin.
ICJ: HAhahhHAhha
Pinback: But at least the food was horrible.
ICJ: It's a shithole.
Pinback: As a result of this, if ANY woman ever tries to follow me into any restaurant, I will go in first, and then hold the door closed.


Pinback: Anyway, you got sed up on that shit?
Pinback: sed '1,4d' original_file > edited_file

ICJ: It worked!
ICJ: It worked BEAUTIFULLY.
ICJ: Thank you, my friend.
Pinback: I'm just doin' what the "man sed"!

ICJ: Whoa
ICJ: Whoa!
ICJ: Holy fuck
ICJ: Dude
ICJ: What will we do for the rest of 2010?
ICJ: Year: WON.
Pinback: Nothin' but hookers and Double Downs from here on out.

[AArdvark]

NPR link about the Double Down

That is BEST OF! I mean, yeah you had to go thru restaurant fast food hell but... DAMN!

So glad I don't do fast food anymore.


THE
S'PRISED THE LADY AINT DEAD
AARDVARK

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I know it was long and loggy, but Pinback kept saying funny things.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

NPR link about the Double Down

That is BEST OF! I mean, yeah you had to go thru restaurant fast food hell but... DAMN!

So glad I don't do fast food anymore.


THE
S'PRISED THE LADY AINT DEAD
AARDVARK

I thought it was very gentlemanly of Ben to assume that she was part of a book club, by the way.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Also, holy shit, that link was actually funny. I will blame the following people for the reasonable cliche that most AIM logs are shitty:

1) AIM LOG CLIENTS.

Actually, AIM is one of the few chat clients that are OK. It took me about 20 minutes to reformat the above thing from Yahoo. Normally it's not too bad, just find and replace my name and Pinner's, but Yahoo helpfully, meaning, unhelpfully puts a timestamp fucking in there between the name of the person and the IM. Yes, I could SED it and strip out everything before the colon, but Jesus fucking Christ, I'm not doing that when I could be writing shell scripts to do actual work.

2) AIM LOG CLIE- we're not done here.

GChat doesn't preface each IM with the name of the chatter. For a while I couldn't copy anything from MSN but I think they are OK now. Quit making this difficult, assholes!

3) THE PEOPLE HAVING AIM LOGS

I would say 90% of our conversation was stripped out. You missed a lot of me saying, "No! NO! NO!" and my refusals-to-believe what Pinner was telling me. Most people in the early zeroes didn't have that discipline. If you've ... well... nobody here would ever do this, BUT: if you've ever copied and pasted a log verbatim, you're ruining it for the rest of us. And by "us" I mean nose-breathers.

4) THE PEOPLE HAVING AIM LOGS AGAIN

Pick your spots, it's all I'm saying. As it is, the log I posted was probably too long, but what the fuck else have I written for this site since PAX.