This is why Starcraft 2 is a piece of shit

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 3:40 pm

Ben tells me to try some of the other things in the game instead of getting killed off in the Zerg mission.

Okay, try one of the campaigns. Oh, sorry, you have to have the paid edition.

Okay, try the other one. Oh, sorry, you have to have the paid mission.

So, in simple terms, the only thing I can try on this goddamn game is the fucking Zerg mission, which has the exact same problem that I hate with these fucking games lately, the minimum, least difficult, and easiest mission equates to something where the weakest enemy is twice as tough as the Cyberdemon in Doom, and the game is as difficult as the player vs. AI games in Quake III Arena.

It's like these game designers have no understanding that "easy" does not mean someone who only plays video games 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. It should conceivably include people who have no experience in the game.

Well, on that the tutorials, which explain how to use the interface, are good. But the learning curve isn't merely steep, it's basically a 90 degree angle!

And I declare Starcraft 2 to be essentially unplayable.

Ben. let me know when you want to try the co-op game or whatever you want to do so I can keep my promise to you, the sooner I can uninstall this piece of shit, the sooner I can reclaim 12 gigs of wasted space. Even World of Warcraft, at least, has reasonable trial missions to work up your abilities. This doesn't have them, at least in the version I have.

But prove me wrong. Create an unpaid account, then connect and discover all the things you're trying to tell me to try first aren't there unless you have a paid account, or tell me where to find them.

Because they are not there. And I am deeply disappointed by this game, that even the easiest position is like dropping a naked, unarmed bleeding man into a shark tank.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 3:59 pm

Howzabout you play the first Starcraft. By now it's abandonware and should be available readily. The gameplay is essentially the same and you could learn on that while you save up money to buy SC2.

THE
REDUCED EXPECTATIONS
AARDVARK

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:51 pm

AArdvark wrote:Howzabout you play the first Starcraft. By now it's abandonware and should be available readily. The gameplay is essentially the same and you could learn on that while you save up money to buy SC2.

I have declared the game unplayable. To me that's the equivalent of the Christian "unforgivable sin", blasphemy of the Holy Ghost, a crime so bad that you can't ever get forgiven for it. (Now, however, if you're a Christian you can't ever be punished for any sins because once you're a Christian you can't ever make yourself no longer one, so that's one case where you can be forgiven.)

A game that is unplayable is the equivalent, as TV Tropes referred to it, the "Moral Event Horizon" in which someone who has crossed that line is totally, irredeemably evil. As I put it in the article,

From TV Tropes: Moral Event Horizon wrote:While they may not have had a term such as this to define it, many authors clearly recognized it. Robert A. Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land referred to it as being the result of an act that was "so bad, so black" that it was basically unforgivable. Hank Rearden in Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged said that "to convict a human being of that practice was a verdict of irrevocable damnation...a verdict of total evil" and that "he would not do so long as the possibility of a doubt remained."

Starcraft 2 has basically convicted itself of non-playability not just to "beyond a reasonable doubt and to a moral certainty" but to the highest possible standard of proof, "beyond a shadow of a doubt and to an absolute certainty."

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 5:22 pm

I have declared the game unplayable.

What are you, the pope of videogames?

How's that attitude flexibility therapy working for you; geez.

Anyway, it was a suggestion. A way to accomplish a goal. A goal that will never now be fulfilled. A distant shore full of joy and SC2 replay videos that will never be beached by the wheelchair longboats. Alas.

THE
THERE ARE NONE
SO BLIND
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Sep 18, 2011 10:12 pm

For those that are keeping track, here's TDR's current list of unplayable games:

1. StarCraft II, the most successful RTS of all time, and the first game to literally transform the urban landscape into a nerd-friendly environment, as thousands of people flock to bars in cities all over the country to watch players from <s>Korea</s> cities all over the world compete for hundreds of thousands of dollars in prize money.

2. Cryptozookeeper, inarguably the most creative and thoroughly realized interactive fiction epic that anyone has seen in the last decade.

You're BATTIN' ZERO HERE, PORK-FACE.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:20 am

AArdvark wrote:
I have declared the game unplayable.
What are you, the pope of videogames?

As a matter of fact, I am. I was the Most High Demigod of the One True Church of God a Maryland Non-Stock Corporation, which made me six levels above pope. Or at least I was until I stopped filing the forms for the corporation. (it wasn't until later I discovered that there was no renewal fee and all I had to do was file a paper once a year.) I could reinstate my Demigod status if I want to file the forms for ten years and pay the $100 reinstatement fee.

AArdvark wrote:How's that attitude flexibility therapy working for you; geez.

Anyway, it was a suggestion. A way to accomplish a goal. A goal that will never now be fulfilled. A distant shore full of joy and SC2 replay videos that will never be beached by the wheelchair longboats. Alas.

It was recommended I try the game. I tried the game. Since Aardvark says I'm acting as the Pope of Video Games, I voted it "Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin" - Daniel 5:25

"You have been judged and found wanting."

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:24 am

pinback wrote:For those that are keeping track, here's TDR's current list of unplayable games:

1. StarCraft II, the most successful RTS of all time, and the first game to literally transform the urban landscape into a nerd-friendly environment, as thousands of people flock to bars in cities all over the country to watch players from <s>Korea</s> cities all over the world compete for hundreds of thousands of dollars in prize money.

2. Cryptozookeeper, inarguably the most creative and thoroughly realized interactive fiction epic that anyone has seen in the last decade.

You're BATTIN' ZERO HERE, PORK-FACE.

I have my standards. That other people choose to put up with having garbage shoved down their throats does not make their opinion better than mine.

When ten million people believed the world was flat, their entire mass voting nemine contradicente wouldn't change the fact that they were wrong.