Things That Don't Suck About A Macbook

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Work has recently issued me a MacBook for the primary reason that "everyone else has it", and many of the tools the company built for OSX don't quite work with cygwin. Also because all my work buddies there have, for years, been imploring me, OHH DUDE YOU GOTTA GET A MAC IT'S SO MUCH AWESOMER OH MAN DUDE MA--

I've had it for about a month now, and my overall review is: Macs FUCKING SUCK. Windows 7 should have driven the nail in the coffin, but somehow these overpriced dickholes of a computer continue to make Steve Job money in his grave.

HOWEVER. I'm a team player. I'm "brand-agnostic". I'm willing to work with you, here. So this thread is where I will present things about my new Macbook that DO NOT SUCK, and in fact, are better than my smokin' ASUS Windows laptop, against which all other laptops should be judged.

1. You can run Windows on it. No shit. A mere ctrl-right-arrow puts me back in Windows 7 land, where I belong. As of this writing, I have used that feature primarily to download, store, and hide porn, in case some IT jerk at my company wants to come up and mess around in OSX. But it runs Windows. So, if worse comes to worst, ctrl-right-arrow. Fuck it.

2. The touchpad. I never used the touchpad on Windows laptops, because oh my god, how painful. But on this, the scroll-wheel and right-click are replicated by way of being able to use two fingers at once. Much like YOUR MOM, I appreciate this. I can scroll up and down by swiping the touchpad with TWO FINGERS. I can click "back" on the browser by swiping left with TWO FINGERS. Maybe Windows laptops can do this too. I never tried. But if not, then this is something that doesn't suck. I'm writing this from an airplane, with no mouse plugged in, and the whole experience hasn't been terrible, as most mouse-less laptop experiences are.

3. UHHHhhHHhhhHHhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah, stay tuned. I'm sure there's other stuff that doesn't suck. I guess OSX, when you get to the terminal window, is pretty bouse. Sure. Let's go with that.

4. UHHHHHHH yeah fuck this. Robb, you've created endless threads on how Windows sucks. CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, BUDDY.

To set the tone for the rest of this thread: Having the application menu pinned to the top of the screen at all times is, by far, the worst UI (or "UX", as they now call it) decision of all time, and trumps anything else good that the Mac has over Windows. Oh my christ. OH MY CHRIST. Hey, I'm using an application! Where's the menu? OH IT'S WAY THE FUCK UP ON TOP OF THE SCR-- I can never forgive this. I will learn to use it, and I will get used to it, but I will never forgive it.

Also the task bar at the bottom? That Windows 7 "copied"? Well, Windows 7 did it much better because IT TELLS YOU WHICH OF THE APPS IS ACTUALLY RUNNING. I actu-- listen.

LISTEN.

I actually asked a fellow macbook user, HEY, the task bar doesn't tell you which apps are running, like W7 does, and their STRAIGHT-FACED-ANSWER was: "Well, you can right-click the icon, and if there's a "quit" option there, then you know it's running."

Oh. Oh! OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

That's how you tell what you have running. On a mac. You check to see if you can quit it.

Yeah, this might be a short thread.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Jobs hated buttons, didn't he? He hated buttons. I like them.

I do like Windows 7, a lot. I think that the main gripes I've had lately with Windows software include:

- Microsoft Word. Sorry, versioning software Mercurial. You WERE the worst computer program of all-time. After a year I learned how to accept and use you. So Microsoft Word is back to #1.

- Microsoft Live for Windows Gaming Gold Xbox. Or whatever they're calling it now.

- Their new MSN Live Messenger Live Messaging Instant Messenger. Or whatever they're calling it.

An argument can be made that Win 7 was the first decent OS they've ever made. The stuff you are dealing with on the Macbook sounds like hell incarnate.

[AArdvark]

So how come all these Apple fanboys tell me it's such a great OS and they love it so much? I don't get it.



THE
WHATS THE DEAL
AARDVARK

[Ben is Blind]

Also the task bar at the bottom? That Windows 7 "copied"? Well, Windows 7 did it much better because IT TELLS YOU WHICH OF THE APPS IS ACTUALLY RUNNING. I actu-- listen.

LISTEN.

I actually asked a fellow macbook user, HEY, the task bar doesn't tell you which apps are running, like W7 does, and their STRAIGHT-FACED-ANSWER was: "Well, you can right-click the icon, and if there's a "quit" option there, then you know it's running."

That's how you tell what you have running. On a mac. You check to see if you can quit it.

Um, I think both you and the co-worker you questioned are a bit...challenged. In every OS X version I've used, there's a little white pointer that appears under applications that are running in the dock. So.....white pointer under app icon = running. No white pointer = not running. You can see four running apps in right of the dock here:



If you still have trouble seeing it, because you're blind, I've circled them in red:



ROCKET fucking SCIENCE!

[RetroRomper]

A mod available for the quick start bar, surrounds active applications with a soft maroon glow. The subtlety of the white markers, is one of the few usability issues I've seen clients have with Mac OS X.

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To: Ben is Blind

AHHAhahah, FUCK YOU, you idiot. WHITE MARKERS!! WHITE MARKERS!! Know what those white markers are if you're not aware they exist and aren't specifically looking for them? VIRTUALLY FUCKING INVISIBLE!

I see 'em now, though. That's helpful. Thank you. Asshole.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

A mod available for the quick start bar, surrounds active applications with a soft maroon glow. The subtlety of the white markers, is one of the few usability issues I've seen clients have with Mac OS X.

A mod!!

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

To: Ben is Blind

AHHAhahah, FUCK YOU, you idiot. WHITE MARKERS!! WHITE MARKERS!! Know what those white markers are if you're not aware they exist and aren't specifically looking for them? VIRTUALLY FUCKING INVISIBLE!

I see 'em now, though. That's helpful. Thank you. Asshole.

I am glad we could all come together in friendship for this.

[pinback]

A mod available for the quick start bar, surrounds active applications with a soft maroon glow. The subtlety of the white markers, is one of the few usability issues I've seen clients have with Mac OS X.

How about the fact that you CAN'T TURN MOUSE ACCELERATION OFF without another "mod"?

How about the fact that you CAN'T SWITCH THE CTRL AND FN KEYS TO BE WHERE THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE FIRST PLACE without another "mod"?

I got this macbook in workable condition by spending the first three to four hours downloading "mods" to make it usable, and this seems to be the only defense these maclovers have to their godforsaken OS. "Oh, you can fix that with a mod!"

[Ben is Blynde]

To: Ben is Blind

AHHAhahah, FUCK YOU, you idiot. WHITE MARKERS!! WHITE MARKERS!! Know what those white markers are if you're not aware they exist and aren't specifically looking for them? VIRTUALLY FUCKING INVISIBLE!

I see 'em now, though. That's helpful. Thank you. Asshole.

You're welcome. I'm more concerned that your co-worker has apparently been using Macs for awhile and didn't know that. I agree that the markers are small and that a more obvious indicator (like what the mod RetroRomper suggested provides) would be a big improvement. BUT, it is something hard not to notice if you've used OS X for awhile, so that co-worker.....er....

The thing I dislike the most about OS X is that while Finder does an awesome job of cataloging all your files in the background so that search results are provided quickly, when you actually DO a search, the default is to search filenames AND file contents. I am almost always searching for a filename, so I am always getting more results than I need as a default - reams of irrelevant results. You can click "search by filename" below the search input window *after* a search has started, or put "name:" in front of the search term to restrict it to filename, but why for the love of God is search by filename not the *default*.

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To: Ben is Blind

AHHAhahah, FUCK YOU, you idiot. WHITE MARKERS!! WHITE MARKERS!! Know what those white markers are if you're not aware they exist and aren't specifically looking for them? VIRTUALLY FUCKING INVISIBLE!

I see 'em now, though. That's helpful. Thank you. Asshole.

Also, I should add that the mac user who told me that you can tell if it's running by whether you can quit it or not? This is someone who'd been using macs for YEARS. YEARS! So maybe "me being blind" is not the most ACCURATE description of why nobody knows about the goddamn white markers (which are much less apparent in the version of OSX I'm running than the screenshot you provided.)

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Pinback is blind lol!!

(For our new poster, there is a running gag where we type "Lysander is blind LOL!! lol!" because Lysander is blind LOL!!. LOL!)

(Unless you are an old poster posing as a new one, in which case never mind.)

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Oh, I also forgot. There is a text subtitution to add "LOL!" to anytime someone says L-y-s-a-n-d-e-r is blind, but without the hyphens.

[Ben is Buhlinde]

Also, I should add that the mac user who told me that you can tell if it's running by whether you can quit it or not? This is someone who'd been using macs for YEARS. YEARS! So maybe "me being blind" is not the most ACCURATE description of why nobody knows about the goddamn white markers (which are much less apparent in the version of OSX I'm running than the screenshot you provided.)

Hm, all I can say is, that's the first time I've heard of a long-time OS X-user having that confusion, having worked with and known many other OS X-users.

The fn & cntrl keys -- that throws me off whenever immediately switching from Windows to OS X and vice-versa, but only for the first moment of the switch.

Overall, OS X is a much smoother experience for me than my still current travels in Windows Vista and Windows 7-land. The main thing has been immensely fewer hardware/software configuration issues than my past and current Win machines, which has more to do with Apple controlling (and thus syncing) both OS and hardware than anything else.

[Ben has glasses LOL!!!]

Oh, and the thing I *like* the most about OS X is Spaces - which allows you to have multiple virtual desktops you can switch between. I always clutter the hell out of whatever screen I'm using, so this is a sanity-saver for me, to have multiple programming windows open on one desktop, browser crap in another, gaming stuff on a third, music stuff on a fourth, etc. I currently go a bit bonkers when on Windows and not having that ability, though I think Win 7 might have version of it I haven't tried?

Anyway, pinback, try out Spaces and see if that assuages any OS X-unhappiness:

Using Spaces in OS X Lion

Spaces in previous OS X's

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I think the other question is: should Ben burn his company to the ground for this insult?

[AArdvark]

Why not simply NOT show the application icons that aren't running? I have never used a mac so maybe I don't get this.



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I LIKE BUTTONS
AARDVARK

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Why not simply NOT show the application icons that aren't running? I have never used a mac so maybe I don't get this.

Because the UI to this thing was finished 20 years ago, but pieces of shit that design these sorts of UI still have to justify a paycheck.

[RetroRomper]

The quick start bar, combines quick menu access to activate programs and indicators for various things (including if a program is running). In both theory and practice it works and at times, I've even used a program for Windows that duplicates the effects since it does work so well.

Oh, and the thing I *like* the most about OS X is Spaces - which allows you to have multiple virtual desktops you can switch between.

Could... Could we not talk about "spaces" as if its a super secret Mac OS X feature? Christ, I've been running multiple work environments (in 3D no less) under Linux since... 2000? 2002? I don't even remember when it became standard, but saying that this generic feature is why you enjoy an OS is at this point, akin to saying that you prefer Pepsi because its carbonated.

[Ben's spectacles]

Could... Could we not talk about "spaces" as if its a super secret Mac OS X feature? Christ, I've been running multiple work environments (in 3D no less) under Linux since... 2000? 2002? I don't even remember when it became standard, but saying that this generic feature is why you enjoy an OS is at this point, akin to saying that you prefer Pepsi because its carbonated.

I didn't claim it was invented in OS X, but I WAS comparing OS X to Windows. In Windows, it has certainly not been a built-in option until, perhaps 7 (again, not sure if it *is* really available in 7, but I know 7 offers several UI improvements I haven't dug into yet.)