This Is The Thread Where Steam/GamersGate Completely Fuck Up

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/// is getting released tomorrow on Steam. Which usually means at 10 PM Pacific the night before!

You could preorder the game at Gamer's Gate, though, which I did! Theoretically once the game goes live, they will provide you with your Steam game key and you can go download it!

I think we've all been in this game long enough to know that this is never going to work. The last release like this was Silent Hunter V, and it took almost until midnight the following day for any link to be provided to even BEGIN downloading the game. Of course, knowing what we know now, it would have been better if the link never worked, but that's a different discussion for a different time. DIFFERENT TIME, PEOPLE.

But this looks GOOD. And you know it's going to be a debacle. So I will chronicle the upcoming debacle here as we celebrate IMPORTANT MOMENTS IN GAME RELEASE DEBACLE HISTORY.

Just as a little "preview", let's check the game's page on Steam as it stands now:



...



It doesn't even exist yet.

SO FAR SO GOOD, EVERYONE!

[Tdarcos]

I stand by my statement in the video from, what, four years ago? (2007, I think), where I point out that Valve has problems because some games - even where they are not co-op play - will not work if you don't have Internet connectivity.

Half Life 2 will not work without Internet Connectivity
Half Life 2 Episode 1 will not work without Internet Connectivity
Half Life 2 Episode 2 will not work without Internet Connectivity
Portal will not work without Internet Connectivity
Garry's Mod will not work without Internet Connectivity

Alternatively:
Portal 2 will work in off-line mode
PopCap's Peggle will work in off-line mode
PopCap's Peggle Nights will work in off-line mode

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It's my previously stated opinion that 99.94287842% of the self-righteous jackasses who complain about "always-on" DRM are always on.

So they can eat a flailing bag of flying yak nobbers.

Anyway, none of that applies to /// so I don't know why it's being discussed here.

UPDATE: Still no Steam page, still no key from GG.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I feel that this isn't a "big" enough release for them to fucking bother with doing their goddamn jobs.

Even though it should be easier for a smaller game like this to be a successful launch, as the sheer number of bytes being transferred isn't as great.

They WILL fuck this up, however.

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I feel that this isn't a "big" enough release for them to fucking bother with doing their goddamn jobs.

Even though it should be easier for a smaller game like this to be a successful launch, as the sheer number of bytes being transferred isn't as great.

They WILL fuck this up, however.

You're right. It's an independent release, with a total download size of 1 gig.

Doing this correctly, I would imagine, involves a single neckbeard pressing a button.

(He will fail to do this properly.)

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

He could probably be pressing the button right now.

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He could probably be pressing the button right now.

(He is not pressing it right now.)

What's fair? I wanna say if 10 PM comes and Steam still doesn't have the page up, that counts as a mini-debacle. Midnight, then it's official, and we go from there.

I wanna be fair, here.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

The page should have been up when the Steam guy who accepts games accepted the game. They're not inventing a new language to put these things up. But this BBS, this lifestyle is about being fair. So let's be fair.

If the page for /// is not up before 10:00 PM PDT, then that's the first debacle.

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Alright. Gonna go watch House. That's the true first debacle. Then we'll come back and see where we're at.

(As of now? No Steam page, no GG keys. NOT LOOKING GOOD, ///.)

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10 PM Pacific:

Steam Page Status: [ X ]

Gamer's Gate Key Status: [ X ]

DEBACLE LEVEL: MILD

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Oh. Welp.

Maybe that neckbeard saw this thread?

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Oh. Welp.

Maybe that neckbeard saw this thread?

Those are "X"s, as in Family Feud, as in BZZZT. As in, nothing.

Sorry for the confusion. The debacle level is mild AND RISING, as the minutes tick away.

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Let's try it again:

10:25 PM Pacific:

STEAM PAGE: NONEXISTENT

GAME KEY: NONEXISTENT

DEBACLE LEVEL: BEWARE OF THE 'UNBEATABLE?' DEBACLE

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Alright, time for bed.

TIME FOR BED UPDATE (11 PM Pacific)

STEAM PAGE: NONEXISTENT

GAME KEY: NONEXISTENT

DEBACLE LEVEL: SAVE THE LAST HUMAN DEBACLE!

[Tdarcos]

10 PM Pacific:

Steam Page Status: [ X ]

Gamer's Gate Key Status: [ X ]

DEBACLE LEVEL: MILD

Based on your comments later, that explanation you gave was completely wrong. It is standard practice that an x in a box is the equivalent of a check mark, that the item is completed successfully. In the case of Family Feud (or the message when a program crashes in Windows) the X is bright red and is used in a manner indicating a fail.

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Got up at 6 AM today, reloaded Gamer's Gate, and got a download link and a serial key!

Downloaded the game!

Clicked install!

Was prompted to enter the activation code in Steam!

Entered the activation code!

Was told "activation successful! Click here to install Naval War: Arctic Circle BETA".

Went... "Hmmm."

Clicked install anyway.

"CANNOT INSTALL, CLICK HERE TO EXIT."



DEBACLE LEVEL: INKY, BLINKY, PINKY, & DEBACLE!!!!

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Now the Steam page has finally arrived. Know what it says? "This game has not been released yet so cannot be unlocked."

That makes sense, since the game was scheduled for release on 4/10. HEY WAIT THAT'S TODAY!!!!



DEBACLE LEVEL: ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE THE DEBACLE??!

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Well, after restarting Steam thirty times, it's finally in a state where it is DOWNLOADING the game (which I thought I already did at six o'clock this morning).

Could this potentially be the END of the DEBACLE?!!??!



COULD IT?!?!

(Maybe!)

[AArdvark]

Quoth the raven: DEBACLE!


It's Steam. The Debacle is in the details.




THE QUOTABLE
AARDVARK

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Well, after restarting Steam thirty times, it's finally in a state where it is DOWNLOADING the game (which I thought I already did at six o'clock this morning).

Could this potentially be the END of the DEBACLE?!!??!



COULD IT?!?!

(Maybe!)

This was, in fact, the end of the debacle.

Closure!