PINBACK'S GUIDE TO CASINOS
Moderators: AArdvark, Ice Cream Jonsey
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pinback
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PINBACK'S GUIDE TO CASINOS
Ask me how I won $150 playing penny slots for five minutes!
Am I a hero? I really can't say. But, yes.
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Ice Cream Jonsey
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pinback
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- Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 3:00 pm
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Right!
STEP 1: Go house-hunting all day, and stop at one of Albuquerque's 9438 local resort/casinos, looking for a drink, because Jesus Christing Christ is it hot down here. Fuck.
STEP 2: Fail to find a bar with any seats available, because everyone else has already STEP 1'ED.
STEP 3: On your way out, think, "huh, all these goddamn grandmas can't be wrong, people LOVE these stupid goddamn slot machines! Oh well, let's see how it works!"
STEP 4: Find a "penny slot" with a picture of a Polynesian girl on it. Hey, she's pretty! And it's only for pennies! Put in $20!
STEP 5: Realize that "penny slot" is a ridiculous marketing ploy. The LEAST you can bet on any pull is "ten pennies", and if you know anything about slot machines, you know you have to bet the max on every pull. In this case, the max is 250 pennies. PENNIES!!
STEP 6: Begin hitting the "bet max" button. Watch all three rows of five different reels resolve into an array of figures and numbers you realize you have no idea what any of them mean.
STEP 7: Continue hitting "bet max", still not realizing anything that's going on (I swear, I still have no idea what happened on any of these pulls... I think the parrot is a good thing? You want to get parrots? Maybe?), until you look up and realize that somehow you've managed to rack up SEVENTEEN THOUSAND PENNIES.
STEP 8: Cash the fuck out, never play slot machines again the rest of your life.
STEP 1: Go house-hunting all day, and stop at one of Albuquerque's 9438 local resort/casinos, looking for a drink, because Jesus Christing Christ is it hot down here. Fuck.
STEP 2: Fail to find a bar with any seats available, because everyone else has already STEP 1'ED.
STEP 3: On your way out, think, "huh, all these goddamn grandmas can't be wrong, people LOVE these stupid goddamn slot machines! Oh well, let's see how it works!"
STEP 4: Find a "penny slot" with a picture of a Polynesian girl on it. Hey, she's pretty! And it's only for pennies! Put in $20!
STEP 5: Realize that "penny slot" is a ridiculous marketing ploy. The LEAST you can bet on any pull is "ten pennies", and if you know anything about slot machines, you know you have to bet the max on every pull. In this case, the max is 250 pennies. PENNIES!!
STEP 6: Begin hitting the "bet max" button. Watch all three rows of five different reels resolve into an array of figures and numbers you realize you have no idea what any of them mean.
STEP 7: Continue hitting "bet max", still not realizing anything that's going on (I swear, I still have no idea what happened on any of these pulls... I think the parrot is a good thing? You want to get parrots? Maybe?), until you look up and realize that somehow you've managed to rack up SEVENTEEN THOUSAND PENNIES.
STEP 8: Cash the fuck out, never play slot machines again the rest of your life.
Am I a hero? I really can't say. But, yes.
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AArdvark
- Posts: 17743
- Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
- Location: Rochester, NY