The RetroRomper 2012 Holiday Cookie Exchange!

RetroRomper · Post by **RetroRomper** » Thu Dec 27, 2012 1:08 pm

A simple question to you, the denizens of Jolt Country:

What ails you?

Is it that you are now poor and downbeat from the relentless triad of holiday giving or perhaps the inherent cynicism that comes from visiting (or having a lack of) family for the holiday season? Are you alone this New Year or has a break up, familial circumstance or other personal issue beaten down your otherwise exhilarating soul?

Well... RetroRomper is here and I care inherently about every one of you rattled, semi-deranged and dried husks of humanity. And what better way to show this than re-energizing you for the coming year by shoving your mouth holes full of sugar, chocolate, and other concoctions that will lead your marvelously fat ass further down the road to type 2 diabetes?

Here is my offer: from between now and Jan 5th 2013, all you need to do is PM me a shipping address and I will do the following...

1) Create a dish "best served cold" by choosing a cookie recipe that reflects the wonderful personality you've put forward on this BBS.

2) Prepare and bake a batch or two (perhaps even using the 25lbs of high quality baking chocolate I've purchased) just for you!

3) Ship them to you at no charge!

To make sure you know why your receiving a batch of heavily salted oatmeal delicacies, I will include a haiku, poem, or simple paragraph that describes why this recipe reflects the marvelous human being we've all come to know and love.

Your friend,

Retro

RetroRomper · Post by **RetroRomper** » Fri Dec 28, 2012 1:50 am

ICJ
Tdarcos
Pinback

Have all (to one extent or another) given me shipping addresses: any of the other regulars up for a bit of free cookie lovin? I'm interested to hear if Aardvark and Flack are nay or yay (as I've already picked out flavors for them). CCG, CO and the Happiness Engine are also welcome to take part (as are any of the regulars).

As the old Starcraft proverb goes: I'm waiting on you.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Dec 28, 2012 1:58 am

I don't want anyone showing up at my door, keep in mind. A unique situation would arise if someone showed up with cookies, but I want to be clear only the cookies are probably getting in.

I am going to avoid shoveling my driveway to drive this point home.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Fri Dec 28, 2012 6:28 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I don't want anyone showing up at my door, keep in mind.

Customers who need notary services come to my door all the time; most call, but occasionally someone shows up unannounced. If I'm here, I take care of them. I get maybe 2-3 people a month for this.

If someone on this board, or even one of the "great unwashed masses" of cretinous reprobates from Caltrops wants to come all the way to Maryland to see me, I'll be happy to invite them in.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I am going to avoid shoveling my driveway to drive this point home.

The landlord has shoveling the sidewalks and such taken care of or does it himself, so it's not an issue. I do have to have the walk shoveled because my power chair will slide on snow; I have to climb a small incline to get out of the space between the front of my house and the walkway leading to the sidewalk out on the street.

RetroR · Post by **RetroR** » Fri Dec 28, 2012 10:13 am

Cookie count has absolutely no correlation to line count - nice try but your getting one batch like everyone else!

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Fri Dec 28, 2012 3:45 pm

RetroR wrote:Cookie count has absolutely no correlation to line count - nice try but your getting one batch like everyone else!

One batch? A whole batch? I had the impression all I was getting was a couple of cookies. I am amazed. I will have to go buy some milk to really enjoy them.

RetroR · Post by **RetroR** » Fri Dec 28, 2012 7:44 pm

Who said no? =(

RetroRomper · Post by **RetroRomper** » Tue Jan 01, 2013 1:49 am

Orders will be taken until January 5th: gsdgsd, I'm looking over at you for brandy brownies, Happiness Engine for edibles and Aardvark for TBD.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Jan 01, 2013 11:48 am

RetroR wrote:Who said no? =(

I don't know specifically, but keep in mind that most of the people on this BBS are giant, blobular walrus-men who keep declaring that THIS is the year that they finally drop that extra 500 pounds. So don't feel bad, it's probably not you, it's probably us.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jan 30, 2013 7:34 pm

The evidence, Retro. Where is the evidence???????

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Jan 30, 2013 7:47 pm

Where's my goddamn cookies, and don't put Haptic on to answer for you, or you are all BANNED.

The RetroRomper 2012 Holiday Cookie Exchange!

Will I PM Retro my mailing address for free, personalized cookies?

The RetroRomper 2012 Holiday Cookie Exchange!