Quest To Mediocrity: The Counter-Strike Story

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 2:45 pm

I have recently re-taken up the hobby of Counter-Strike, which means that's all I do in any of my free time. It's all I do. It's all I want to do.

And I'm terrible.

BUT, I've recently started playing competitively. My first match, I was kicked out for being so bad. My second match, all the 14 year olds just used their mics to tell me how much I sucked. But then the next game, I ruled! Everyone was in awe!

I thought I was improving, but really, the servers were just adjusting my opponents' skill levels.

You need ten wins to get an official "ranking".

Today I got my tenth competitive win. I am now:

SILVER 1!!!!

That sounds not too bad, until you realize that it is the absolute lowest rank possible in their ranking system. Which is funny, because you'll get matched up against a bunch of other Silver 1s, all complaining about how terrible all of their teammates are.

But we're all terrible.

We're Silver 1.

Can a 43 year old man figure out how to suck less at CS:GO and attain the IMPOSSIBLE DREAM of Silver 3, which is the third lowest rank possible!??!

That is our goal. That is MY goal. And I will attain it.

Wait, I will probably not attain it because I've been playing this game off and on for 15 years and have never improved.

But I can dream. We... can dream.

RealNC · Post by **RealNC** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 5:20 pm

You can do yourself a huge favor and join the MicNation Group:

http://steamcommunity.com/groups/MicNation

Then go in this thread:

http://steamcommunity.com/groups/MicNat ... 7297627043

Then simply add people with the same rank who are in NA. You can also post so people can add you. Your friends list should grow a lot very quickly.

Note that this isn't a "lets get together and be friends and get to know each other and cuddle" group. This is strictly for CS matchmaking, where people with microphones who don't shout "omg you suck" and who are trying to get a 5 man team to start a lobby will send you "join game" invites.

After I joined that group, the game suddenly became *way* more fun. No more idiots banging my mom on the mic or shouting obscenities in Russian, Spanish or French.

No, seriously, do it.

RealNC · Post by **RealNC** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 5:22 pm

Also, get Robb to play the thing :-P

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:26 am

OK, I joined the group. I don't have a mic setup, but it doesn't seem like a big deal.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 7:49 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:OK, I joined the group. I don't have a mic setup, but it doesn't seem like a big deal.

lol u suck noob fag

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 7:53 am

Alright, I posted to the Silver list:

"Silver 1 NA! Great mic! Great humor! Great attitude! Terrible skill!"

All true. All very, very true.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 10:08 am

pinback wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:OK, I joined the group. I don't have a mic setup, but it doesn't seem like a big deal.
lol u suck noob fag

Well, something is wrong with the Blue Yeti. I'll troubleshoot it next week.

Also, my data got corrupted a little for Counter-strike Global Offensive.... not going to let this stop me. I'm still going to be a productive member of the group.