Currency

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:35 pm

We're changing American currency!

$1
Was: GEORGE WASHINGTON
Is: GEORGE WASHINGTON

God, we got lucky with this guy. I read that he stepped down from a third term because he wanted to. That probably isn't true, but fuck it.

$5
Was: ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Is: ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Greatest President we ever had, one of the top ten humans the world has ever seen. He's in.

$10
Was: ALEXANDER HAMILTON
Is: HARRIET TUBMAN

The strength to organize a nationwide system of transport for people that would have caused her to be executed and her people to be thrown into *slavery* is beyond my comprehension. I was irked when Game of Thrones had that episode with slavers. It ruined my week, I was fuming. I'm going to say she is marginally more important than a guy who bankers jerk off to in Hamilton.

$20
Was: ANDREW JACKSON
Is: MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR

The best American of all-time on the currency that ATMs dispense. Andrew Jackson can be on a kind of dollar if we can treat the dollar to somehow initiate the holocaust of Indians. I'm not very PC but how the fuck has this dude survived this long on the twenty?? Was it between him and Jack the Ripper? In that case, sure, go with Old Hickory. I feel that they were limited to the 15 Americans that had ever had their portrait painted when they decided this one. A real clunker, US Mint.

$50
Was: ULYSSES S. GRANT
Is: NEIL ARMSTRONG

1000 years from now there will be one and only one human being that people in 3014 know. In the 1000s it was.... I don't even know. Charlemagne? I am probably off by 400 years. Neil Armstrong did the best thing an American ever did so he gets it. Stanley Kubrick will begin counterfeiting fifties after this takes place.

$100
Was: BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
Is: BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

As far as I am concerned his position is strengthened by the fact that he was probably a serial murderer that kept the bodies under his house. A true polymath.

$75
Was: NOBODY
Is: RONALD REAGAN

The $75 is a bill that the USA invents that it sells for more than $75. People that love Reagan get it and make the government a little money. Everyone wins but communism.

I feel bad that there was no place for William Howard Taft and Drew Brees, but what are ya gonna do. Our system of counting round numbers was based on what the Arabs created. Are they ever NOT our enemy??????

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:40 pm

Also, it is 2015, not 2014 and I should have said 3015 not 3014. This invalidated my proposed changes for US currency.

I would like Nikos to do one of these because Greece has 100000000000000000000000000x the history the US does.

RealNC · Post by **RealNC** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 7:10 pm

I think you might be confusing Greece with Ancient Greece. And we're probably putting German leaders in our soon-to-be new currency with the value of $0.000000000000000000000000001 'cause they fucking own the place these days.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 10:39 pm

I'm not "confusing" Greece with the ancient Greeks, I'm RELYING on it.

Jesus Mary, Mother of God! You have more history in your country than the REST OF US COMBINED. Good god! If you don't want to make the post because you think we won't grok the drachmis that's fine, but represent here buddy. When it comes to history you've rolled the goddamn high score table.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 10:48 pm

Fuck it. CURRENCY in the style of NIKOS CHANTZIARAS

$1 Drachmid
Was: Who knows
IS: ADONIS

Since the $1 drachmid will become incredibly valuable in a few weeks here, let's put the best-looking Greek of all-time onto it.

$5 Drachmid
Was: Who knows
IS: ALEXANDER THE GREAT

The guy who conquered the entire world will represent a future where I avoid an argument between me and the owner of the "Champa Store" down the block when it comes to whether or not she will run a credit card machine for two Hawaiian Punches in the 8 ounce can.

$10 Drachmid
Was: Who knows
IS: PLATO

Plato gets this spot because kids today like to shop at Plato's Closet, an expensive hand-me-down store in lovely downtown Fort Collins, Colorado. But don't worry, they found a less pretentious town nearby for their second store: Boulder, The Part Where Jon Benet Got Aced.

$20 Drachmid
Was: Who knows
IS: ADOLPH HITLER

Look, nobody else has the goddamn balls to do it, and Nikos tells me that the entirety of Greek is about to become Germany South soon anyway. Let's just get through this, put Hitler on the twenty and then worry about the repercussions later. Neville Chamberlain thinks this is a perfectly reasonable person to put on currency as does most of the dark web.

$50 Drachmid
Was: Who knows
IS: JOSEPH MENGELE

We've already committed ourselves here so there's no point in being a pussy about it. The main "security feature" of this dollar bill is that they are all sewn together from different bills, thus creating Siamese currency.

$100 Drachmid
Was: Who knows
Is: ROBO-HITLER

Is it the Robo-Hitler from the original Wolfenstein 3D? The Robo-Hitler from Fallacy of Dawn? Or the Robo-Hitler from I assume one of the other Castle Wolfenstein games? That's the best part, no-one knows because no Greek has ever had one hundred dollars.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Sat Jun 20, 2015 8:51 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Fuck it. CURRENCY in the style of NIKOS CHANTZIARAS

$1 Drachmid

You might get your facts straight; Greece went off the drachmid when it became part of the Euro zone and retired its currency in 1999. This is why Greece's default was a big problem because it's in Euros. Britain is the only country in the Euro zone that kept its local currency, the Pound.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Jun 20, 2015 9:00 am

Man, you better know your currency mister, because you sure don't.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Jun 20, 2015 9:10 am

But it's OK to put robo-hitler on the front...that part's OK , right?

THE
DONT BE A SHTICK KILLER
AARDVARK

RealNC · Post by **RealNC** » Sat Jun 20, 2015 9:48 am

I think the 1Dr coin will have Emperor Diocletian on it because he was such a nice pal and said, "here, have half the Roman Empire for yourselves, what could possibly go wrong?"

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jun 30, 2015 3:21 pm

BY he BY.... I hope you know, Nikos, that everything I've heard about Greece indicates it is a beautiful country with beautiful people. It is funny to me when a nation's currency suddenly turns low in value because the whole thing for all nations is backed by nothing -- it's all just how much other people believe in it. The inflation I've seen in the USA in just my lifetime is staggering and stupid.

Economists aren't real scientists.

I don't really know the details of how it got to be that way in Greece. There are Americans out there that think their poo doesn't smell. I am not one of them: I happily rip on my country, its citizens and where I am from all the time. But because you are obviously one of us and the only person from Greece, all the Greek stuff heads towards you.

The last thing I hope you ever think is, "Boy, they can dish it out but not take it on Jolt Country." You can rip our country all you like. Which you do, so I assume it's understood, but I want to make sure.

RealNC · Post by **RealNC** » Tue Jun 30, 2015 9:48 pm

We owe so much money, it's not even funny. About 300 billion is owed directly (national loans.) But that's really only 1/3 of what we owe in total. If you include what the banks owe (E.L.A., bonds and private loans), it goes up to 1 trillion.

Today, money doesn't represent value. It represents debt. So if 1 trillion of debt is lost, everyone involved will lose a cumulative 1 trillion €.

All I have to say about it, is that we're fucked, with some partial fucking going to investors and lenders.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Mar 28, 2016 9:42 pm

The post where I "reimagined" Greek currency was some of my best work, so I bumped it.

I also think things are better in Greece now (and there's no Trump).

RealNC · Post by **RealNC** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 12:27 am

I'm split between ADOLPH and ROBO. I think I lean towards ROBO more, because you can put a chip on it that fakes low gassing rates.

loafergirl · Post by **loafergirl** » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:40 pm

I looked at old currency with the kiddos the other day made for some interesting history and world discussion... Why were there 3 years in which steel pennies were made in the 1940's?
Why is there a swastika on these coins, and why are they outlawed in Europe? (their great grandpa who I never met brought them back after fighting in WW2)
Yes, these Australian coins have Duckbill platypi and wallabies! If I recall correctly some Euros have DNA strands on the outer edge...

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:44 pm

I do remember seeing Grover Cleveland on the 1000$ bill, but after looking it up I guess a lot of people have been featured, they kind of rotate it.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Sat Apr 02, 2016 1:10 am

loafergirl wrote:I looked at old currency with the kiddos the other day made for some interesting history and world discussion... Why were there 3 years in which steel pennies were made in the 1940's?

Copper is a much more important metal for war purposes and its use was diverted to that exclusively. Lacking copper, the U.S. Mint had to use steel. Most manufacturers that were still in business making non-war-materiel (even IBM made bombs and hand grenades during World War II, some people have recovered shells that were decommissioned that have IBM's name on it) had trouble getting anything that was a war-related material for civilian use. Even food and gasoline was rationed during the war so that the vast majority could be diverted for the war effort.

While the Lionel company was still making toy trains, they made them out of cardboard, promising that when the war was over they'd resume building metal trains on real track. They did.

No new automobiles were built between 1942 and 1948 or so. People made due with what was around.

Why is there a swastika on these coins, and why are they outlawed in Europe?

Until the Nazis commandeered the Indian good luck symbol and reversed it to form the swastika, the symbol had thousands of years of history as a good luck charm. There are famous (from airplane) photos of a number of older (pre WWII) U.S. military buildings built using the 4-way cross, which is the inverse of (or in some case the same as) the swastika.

Europe has not had very strong protections for free speech, so generally to keep skinheads from preaching more hate, the swastika is generally a prohibited symbol. Movies made in those areas doing WWII reenactments have to get special permission to show swastikas or Nazi flags during filming.

loafergirl · Post by **loafergirl** » Wed Apr 06, 2016 6:46 am

Very good Tdarcos! =)