What is a sandwich?

[Tdarcos]

As a thought experiment, instead of fighting over religion, one atheist group decided to ask the question, "What is a sandwich?"

Now, some cases are easy. Take two pieces of bread, spread peanut butter between them and that's a sandwich, no question.

If you have two pieces of bread with no fillings, no butter, no mayonnaise, nothing, is it still a sandwich?

Now, if you have one piece of bread, put jelly on it, some might consider that an "open face" sandwich. Is it?

If you fold the piece of bread with jelly on it over, is it now a sandwich since it's closed?

What if you take the one piece of bread, smear jelly or peanut butter, or both on it, then cut it in half and put the two halves on top of each other, is that a sandwich?

Now, let's say I put two corn tortillas together and put lettuce, tomato, hamburger and cheese between them, is that a sandwich?

Now, take one corn tortilla and put lettuce, tomato, hambirger and cheese on it, is that an open face sandwich? If so, then why is it if that is folded it's a taco?

Or is it only a sandwich if leavened bread is used?

Does the McDonalds Griddles constitute a sandwich (it's like a breakfast sandwich but they use pancakes instead of bread)?

[pinback]

Now this is a fantastic question, and the answer is this:

If it's a handheld food consisting of two separate (!) pieces of leavened (!) bread, with stuff between the two pieces, then it is a sandwich.

The "separate" part is important, because hot dogs are not sandwiches.

The "leavened" part is important because quesadillas are not sandwiches.

Excellent question.

[Rare Amiibos Scalper]

Now, some cases are easy. Take two pieces of bread, spread peanut butter between them and that's a sandwich, no question.

If you have two pieces of bread with no fillings, no butter, no mayonnaise, nothing, is it still a sandwich?

Now, if you have one piece of bread, put jelly on it, some might consider that an "open face" sandwich. Is it?

If you fold the piece of bread with jelly on it over, is it now a sandwich since it's closed?

What if you take the one piece of bread, smear jelly or peanut butter, or both on it, then cut it in half and put the two halves on top of each other, is that a sandwich?

Now, let's say I put two corn tortillas together and put lettuce, tomato, hamburger and cheese between them, is that a sandwich?

Now, take one corn tortilla and put lettuce, tomato, hambirger and cheese on it, is that an open face sandwich? If so, then why is it if that is folded it's a taco?

Or is it only a sandwich if leavened bread is used?

Does the McDonalds Griddles constitute a sandwich (it's like a breakfast sandwich but they use pancakes instead of bread)?

Is this part of the "thought experiment" as well, or are you just describing everything you just ate while typing out this post?

[Didn't see this coming.]

Or are you just trying to find as many loopholes as possible to your doctor's 1 sandwich per day recommendation?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Hot dogs aren't sandwiches? I don't remember agreeing to that, friendo.

[RetroRomper]

[Tdarcos]

Now this is a fantastic question, and the answer is this:

If it's a handheld food consisting of two separate (!) pieces of leavened (!) bread, with stuff between the two pieces, then it is a sandwich.

The "separate" part is important, because hot dogs are not sandwiches.

Hey, I like your definition and your qualifier and in that respect we're both in agreement. If you have a hot dog between two pieces of bread, that is a sandwich but not if it's on a hot dog bun.

What about hamburgers and cheeseburgers? Do they count as sandwiches if the top and bottom of the bun are not separated or does it have to be to count as one?

But you should change "two separate pieces" to "two or more separate pieces. Otherwise the Big Mac is not a sandwich because it has 3 pieces of bread.

On the other hand a Big Mac might not be qualified as a sandwich since generally the contents must be fit for human consumption.

[pinback]

What about hamburgers and cheeseburgers? Do they count as sandwiches if the top and bottom of the bun are not separated

When is this ever the case?

But you should change "two separate pieces" to "two or more separate pieces. Otherwise the Big Mac is not a sandwich because it has 3 pieces of bread

To quote my friend Tdarcos, "WRONG." A Big Mac IS two pieces of bread with stuff between them. The "stuff" just happens to include more bread.

[Flack]

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[Ice Cream Jonsey]

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The platypus of food.

[pinback]

Gyros/stuffed pitas are not sandwiches, they are "wraps".

[Julius Caesar's Ghost]

Gyros/stuffed pitas are not sandwiches, they are "wraps".

I have to agree with this one, but it is odd because if you take your knife and merely cut the crease of the pita: this one simple modification would clearly make it a sandwich.

[pinback]

Pita is leavened so slightly that it almost breaks my "bread must be leavened" rule. But, it IS leavened, and I can't go back and start changing my rules now.

[pinback]

HOWEVER, if you order a gyro at a gyro place, NORMALLY they will just wrap the shit in a whole pita, as the Good Lord Almighty intended, so there's definitely no confusion there. Wrap that rascal!

[Tdarcos]

Wrap that rascal!

We usually only hear that expression in sex ed classes.

[pinback]

This is good, Paul! One thing that's important to remember in social situations is that the guy who explains the joke that everyone else already got is in PRIME POSITION to start crushin' all da pussy in da room.

[Tdarcos]

This is good, Paul! One thing that's important to remember in social situations is that the guy who explains the joke that everyone else already got is in PRIME POSITION to start crushin' all da pussy in da room.

A guy I still miss today, more than ten years after he just disappeared from the alt.seduction.fast newsgroup, was a guy who went by the name of Psyberzombie. He had a hugely irreverent, very funny schtick in everything he wrote.

At one point he was making jokes about his new method for seducing women, and he said "Use this method, and you'll lay more pipe than the Exxon Valdez, and you'll get more pussy than the Los Angeles Animal Shelter."

I miss Psyberzombie.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Maybe people can be leavened.

[pinback]

I miss Psyberzombie.

That nigga wasn't crushin' all da pussy in da room, though. That's Paul Q. Robinson territory.

[Flack]