This is a thread about tongue splitting.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

It seems to be the new "in" thing to do. I am actually considering. I think it looks pretty cool... sort of like in a Doctor Cur Connors as the Lizard sort of way.

No, I'm only kidding. I would never, ever allow that to happen to me. Maybe I'm getting old, but anyone considering this is seriously too goddamn stupid to be taken seriously by anyone at any time.

Here is a link. I'm not saying that there's a picture of some dumb kid holding his split tongue apart, the proudest he's ever been in his life, but I'm not saying there's not, either.

I do wonder: is this at all like how my father threw my brother out of the house when he got an earring? Am I acting in the same manner?

I hope not. I have no problem with people getting tattoos, or piercings, or even bowl haircuts. Live and let be, I say. But geez -- you need your tongue. It allows you to speak as an adult like the rest of us. I am actually pretty paranoid that the little flap underneath my tongue might someday get sliced -- it gives me the shivers, and was one of the reasons that I was opposed to getting braces all those years ago (I didn't want sharp metal anywhere near my mouth, though luckily my mother didn't care and forced me to get braces anyway).

The generation that is our parents are in power in the Senate and in Congress right now, and they are a bunch of disgusting hypocrites: their parents demonized rock and roll records and they do the same thing with video games and rap music. I would hope that I am not doing the same in twenty years, but goddamn, getting yourself a forked tongue just seems ridiculously, collosally stupid.

[bruce]

It's the last sentence there that bothers me:

Split penises, sliced lengthwise in half, are not unheard of among aficionados.

Now, OK, a split tongue isn't something I'd go out and do. For one thing, I eat a lot of ice cream. But I can at least see its advantages. Like a tongue piercing, I'd like to get head at least once from someone with that body mod.

But a split dick? Dude, that thing WOULDN'T EVEN WORK anymore. It's a TUBE! It's GOT TO BE A TUBE TO FUNCTION!

Bruce

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I'd say that the kind of cretin who splits his cock in two probably isn't doing that great with the ladies to begin with, but Christ -- dude still gotta piss, narmean?

[Worm]

or even bowl haircuts.

I had a bowl haircut for fourteen years of my life pretty much. Then I just stopped getting it cut for awhile.

Right, it is fucking fashion. It is a look and if you have a dirty tongue like that kid it doesn't look right.

Look at this fucking ugly tongue! Just a bunch of people who want to rag on another group of hipsters by being fashionable differently. Nothing wrong with being fashionable ... unless you don't look good doing it. UGLY FUCKING TONGUE brush it for fucks sake!

[Debaser]

If I ever reach the point where I no longer have to hold down a job in the more or less white-collar world, I want to fly to Japan, then spend a month plastered 24/7 to dull the pain, and get one of those full-body Yakuza tatoos.

As far as tongue-splitting is concerned... I want to say icky but I'll probably get used to the idea. Like when I was in high-school, and body piercing suddenly went mainstream. All of the sudden, people were walking around with rings in their noses and eyebrows and (in the case of women) belly-buttons. I had a forty-something year old theatre teacher who got the last done, and made a point of showing it at some time or another to every member of the drama club, including one very horrified Debaser. One time this girl I was kinda-sorta friends with brought her out of state boyfriend to school with her, and I think watching the two of them play with this stud pierced through the area of his face between his lower lip and chin for an entire geometry class was one of the less pleasant 50 minutes of my life.

Now, however, I barely notice, unless it's an atteactive woman rendered all the more-so by a well-placed piercing. This should, theoretically, develop as a similar phenomenon in my mind. But, still, how can that not fuck up your speech?

[Worm]

I just wish anyone who wants to show off any sort of oral jewelry and shit would just brush their fucking teeth.

I agree though, Debaser. If I ever lost all my obligations and didn't need to earn cash I'd definitely get half of my head shaved and carve and X in the place between my eyebrows so I wouldn't have to shave the little strip between them anymore.