Great Moments in Computer Programming

[Da King]

Trying to return an item on Amazon puts me in a loop trying to contact customer support.

Unreal.

They're actually making you contact someone? Usually they just say "ok, take it back to the UPS store, here's your money back".

You must not be trustworthy.

[Da King]

This Crowdstrike clusterfuck.

Flights grounded. Worldwide power outages. Chaos and Anarchy.

All because a cybersecurity firm, whose job it is to protect computer and prevent worldwide outages, pushed out an update.

I think someone is getting fired today.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

They're actually making you contact someone? Usually they just say "ok, take it back to the UPS store, here's your money back".
You must not be trustworthy.

I can honestly say that I don't think I have sent anything back myself in Amazon in forever. My wife is happy to do so. And my brother actively seeks it out.

And yet I am the one that suffers!!

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

This Crowdstrike clusterfuck.

Flights grounded. Worldwide power outages. Chaos and Anarchy.

All because a cybersecurity firm, whose job it is to protect computer and prevent worldwide outages, pushed out an update.

I think someone is getting fired today.

I woke up and blearily checked my phone in bed and saw this and also Microsoft computers are crashing?

So, one thing that amazed me in a good way was how my copy of Windows 10 acted when I changed motherboards. It was seamless. Amazing! I've never had such a good experience. I was going to come here and credit Microsoft on an actual good thing.

I see now that in the lower right corner of my computer, in a transparent font is "Active Windows - Go to settings to active Windows."

So, they couldn't do it. They couldn't just make it seamless. And I might even click on Settings to do it, but the entire internet is talking about a Microsoft problem. (Do they own CrowdStrike?) Probably not the best time to try to activate something.

It's very tiring going through this.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

It's very tiring going through this.

.... When I go to settings, Windows tells me there is an error code due to changing hardware.

You can't copy the error code, of course. They went out of their way to make it not be plain text.

I tried to "Troubleshoot" and they have no idea what is going on. Guys, I'm not buying a new copy of Windows because I changed my mobo and CPU.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Okay, I have to post about this. This is the box that pops up to talk to support. I gave them my phone number, I imagine they will call and we'll get this activated. But. Do you see the link that says "Contact Support to get help"?



The link, and its activation IS NOT LINED UP. When I went to hover, to click on it, nothing happened. Because I know how computers work and because I know that literally nothing of Microsoft's ever works right I knew to move my mouse around to see if anything changed. And it did. Moving an inch lower causes the link above to become active.

Every. Single. Time I have to use their shit, I know it's not going to work, it's going to fail in new and spectacular ways and be a dogshit experience. Every. Single. Time.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I am probably the angriest I have ever been with a computer in my life.

To put in the request for the activation (still haven't called me) it wanted me to login via Hotmail.... and this fucking piece of shit changed my computer to force me to login locally using my hotmail password.

Guess what? I have no idea what it is, I used a password manager. Luckily I have it on my phone. This fucking piece of shit company just made that change without communicating the impact.

This is unacceptable. I am not involving the internet in logging in. I LIVE IN THE FOREST. ON A MOUNTAIN. I DO NOT HAVE RELIABLE INTERNET.

It wanted me to setup a fucking PIN. Personal Identification NUMBER. And you can't have "patterns." I clicked the checkbox to allow letters. GUESS THAT MAKES IT NOT A PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER ANY LONGER.

I hate this OS, I hate this company, I hate everything about them.

FUCK OFF.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I gotta calm down a little.

[AArdvark]

Just pirate the OS and don't even try to be legit. They don't want you to be legit, they want you to become a criminal in their eyes so they can look down their corporate noses at you

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

They let you use the same key from Windows 7 and XP, so I am legit. They'd just better see it that way.

Can I talk about how dumb it is for your computer to tell you that someone is going to call you?

[Da King]

the entire internet is talking about a Microsoft problem. (Do they own CrowdStrike?)

They do not own Crowdstrike. Think of Crowdstrike as Norton on steroids.

So Microsoft has been dealing all day with upset customers because a 3rd party vendor just broke half the world.

We had our department picnic today. Our department is probably pushing 400 people at this point. How many showed up to the picnic? Maybe 100 (TOPS). Everyone else was stuck back in the office recovering from this clusterfuck.

On the upside, all of the stuff that my team is responsible for worked like a charm. Didn't have to get involved in any recovery efforts whatsoever. We have put the tools in our users hands to let them self-serve and recover from this stuff. And it was AWESOME.

[AArdvark]

Wait, I could use my legit XP key from 15 years ago and MS would clear it?

I'm still gonna go all arrrr matey, just because.

We use Kapersky at work so none of our stuff got messed up

[Jizaboz]

Wait, I could use my legit XP key from 15 years ago and MS would clear it?

I'm still gonna go all arrrr matey, just because.

We use Kapersky at work so none of our stuff got messed up

I’ve been using a pirated key from a windows xp ultimate install for many, many years from win7 to win10 lol

The only legit M$ products I have owned are DOS 5 and Windows 98se

[Da King]

Holy jeebus.

https://www.digitaltrends.com/computing ... ndows-3-1/

[AArdvark]

Still using Windows 3.1....well, if it works. I read about a school or something that was still using a C128 to run it's heating system. (No google)

As long as the planes aren't using 3.1 for their onboard systems I give Southwest a thumbs up.


THE
BLUE SCREEN OF
DEATHS
AARDVARK


Edit: an Amiga runs the heating schedule for an entire district in Michigan. (google)

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I ended up buying a key from https://digitalchillmart.com/

I guess I had an "OEM" key. Only Microsoft is annoying enough to make a difference years later between an XP key I got that was "OEM" and then moved up to Windows 7 and 10 and a retail one. DCM sold a Windows 10 Pro key for $25, and then I found a coupon that took another 5 off. Activated without issue, and I didn't give any money to Microsoft, which is what I was concerned about. Doubt I would have done it if it were more expensive, and I am sure Microsoft is going to be calling any second now to help me out with the case I opened last week.

[(ᵕ˵ ૩ᵕ)━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ]

Holy jeebus.

https://www.digitaltrends.com/computing ... ndows-3-1/

[Da King]

That would have been absolutely hilarious if they really tweeted that.

[Flack]

Great Moments in Computer Programming.

I signed up for BuyMeACoffee. People who like my YouTube videos can send me $5, or multiples of $5. After one month I have $70 in "virtual cash" sitting out there.

I clicked the button to export my money and the only option is to connect the site to your bank account. No PayPal, no other method.

Starting the process requires you to log into BuyMeACoffee again (I was already logged in) and click a button confirming I'm not a robot. I then started the process to connect to my credit union, which also required me to log in there, and click a button confirming I'm still not a robot.

Once you have logged into both systems, they require the bank to send you 2FA. Options are a phone call or a text message. I select text message and... it never comes. I log out, log back in, click that I'm not a robot, prompt for a text message... and get nothing. I try a third time, tell the system that I'm not a robot, and choose phone call instead. I don't get a phone call either. I have now been trying this for roughly 30 minutes.

Then, the first text message comes through. I go back, log in, tell it I'm not a robot, and enter the text code. Of course it doesn't work because I requested a second one. Now I have hope that the second one will come through, so I wait, and wait. 10 minutes later, the second text comes through. I try that code and it also doesn't work. While I'm doing that I realize I have a voice mail. My phone automatically marked the call as spam, hid the call, and sent it to voicemail. I get the code from voice mail, log back in, click that I'm not a robot, and try the code. The site tells me the code has expired.

I think the 2FA system was backed up. I try a fourth time, log in, tell the system I'm not a robot, and tell it to call me. Five minutes later it does, and I get the code. Once logged in I was able to connect to my master bank account. I normally route my online stuff to a different account, but it won't let me change it and I'm afraid to try my luck a fifth time so I let it go for now. I'll withdraw the money and then change it.

Now that I'm connected I click the withdraw money button and it says "Pending." I refresh it a few times and it still says Pending. There's a little pop up for more information so I click that and it says "payments are processed on Wednesdays." So as not to... overtax the scripts, I guess.

Before logging out it asks me if I want to save my changes. I tell it I do and it asks me to check a box to ensure I'm not a robot. I hope to make enough money with this stupid coffee website to be able to afford a robot to handle this kind of bullshit for me in the future.

[Casual Observer]

Can anyone explain to me why streaming channels need 2FA? Can't be for my protection because how could someone hurt me through my Netflix account, change my settings?