Jolt Country

Any time a news article uses the word 'shocking' (without electrical reference) I close the web page. It's a trigger word and has no place in serious news

I think I’ve mentioned before I’m a “lucid dreamer” and just about always wake up remembering almost every detail of a dream.. even if passing out kinda wasted.

So last night I’m in this hotel and this dude shows me a room with a view of the pool which didn’t even look like it was open and dude said it was 230$ a night! I was like nah man I’ll find somewhere else and rambled into an arcade on the same block. Many machines I recognized.. until then I see what people are calling a “Neo Print” walk over, and the machine is cocktail style with a huge button on top.. like a copier/printer. At first, I want to question the arcade operator but as I realize this is not a real Neo Print but some manifestation from my brain I woke up.

AArdvark wrote: Sat Jul 03, 2021 9:09 am Any time a news article uses the word 'shocking' (without electrical reference) I close the web page. It's a trigger word and has no place in serious news

Yeah, you’ll see this a lot. Kinda like the lady with the sign at the Tour De France being caught and arrested in the headlines. She turned herself in!

Nobody ever told me it was persistence of vision that makes movies possible, not even at the George Eastman museum. Well I plan on mentioning it to the grandkid.

The ladies are planning our vacation menu and they have a happy hour list! I love vacation time!

I just realized I'm turning the Troll Room into my surrogate Facebook page...oh well

AArdvark wrote: Wed Jul 07, 2021 4:28 pm Nobody ever told me it was persistence of vision that makes movies possible, not even at the George Eastman museum. Well I plan on mentioning it to the grandkid.

And here I thought POV Vids meant something entirely different.

A work from home problem I am sure many have! You're on a meeting with 30 others and the gal is droning on about something so you turn the camera and microphone off. You go to the toilet down the hall to take a grumper, and you're pretty sure the microphone is off, but you remember at least two occasions where you thought the camera was off (and it wasn't) and like 10 where you thought the mic was off (and it wasn't) so rather than risk it, you get up and don't flush the toilet. If you don't flush the toilet it does not matter if the mic was left on.

So you leave. And you forget about it.

Until six hours later when you go back to use the hopper again.

At least three times a week.

I default to mic off and don't have a camera, sparing me a lot of "why don't you turn on your camera?" and the truth being "because I rolled out of bed 5 minutes before I needed to be in this meeting and am dressed only in pyjama pants."

The ONLY time I leave a mic hot instead of push-to-talk is in a 1:1 meeting or if I am presenting something.

$2.95 of electrical tape and you can effectively expel any student from your online college that you want.

I am so done with adverbs! Working on another 1930s space opera and the adverbs are making me ANGRY!

What was your favorite Schoolhouse Rock video?

Mine was the pronoun one because there was an aardvark in it

AArdvark wrote: Tue Nov 30, 2021 6:52 pm What was your favorite Schoolhouse Rock video?

Mine was the pronoun one because there was an aardvark in it

One of your relatives, perhaps?

There are so many of them, it's hard to pick just one. Did you know they used Conjunction Junction in a commercial for the Norfolk Southern Railroad?

Now, you do.

I guess I'll have to pick Interjections as the instruction on them still sticks in my head, forty-six years later! I think I should include a couple. Fuck! I'd forgotten it was that long ago! Damn, that was a long time.

Here it is:

"Interjections, show excitement, or emotion. They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point, or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong."

I am partial to the English and science ones. The math and history vids, not so much. My favorite part of the Interjection video is when the race car driver loses a wheel and says 'Rats!' It sounds almost exactly like Charlie Brown checking his mailbox.

AArdvark wrote: Thu Dec 02, 2021 4:00 pm I am partial to the English and science ones. The math and history vids, not so much. My favorite part of the Interjection video is when the race car driver loses a wheel and says 'Rats!' It sounds almost exactly like Charlie Brown checking his mailbox.

Adult version of that:
"So when you're happy..." (See's girlfriend's pregnancy test is negative) "Fuck yeah!"
"Or sad..." (Bank robber comes out carrying bag with $, as a wall of police surround him) "Oh, fuck!"
"Or frightened..." (Menacing guy tries to assault a woman, who maces him in the face) "Fuck off!"
"Or glad.." (guy hits on woman at bar, she nods her head and leaves with him) "Fuckin' A!"
"An interjection starts a sentence right."

The attending physician was able to fill out the death certificate pretty quickly as he didn't have to look for a pen.

bakery, it would be stacks of Styrofoam decorated to look like a cake and destined to sit in a display case where couples holding hands will comment on how beautiful it is. She can't afford to pay for such a cake; he already knocked up her sister but is afraid to tell her. They will get married because she thinks having a child will bring them closer together. They will have white cupcakes at the wedding reception because her aunt was supposed to bake a cake but the heating element went out on her oven. When she throws her bouquet, her sister catches it and winks at the groom. Somehow the display cake at the bakery knows all of this and smiles.

Flack's wedding cake anecdote makes me want to turn it into a short story. It has a Harlan Ellison vibe, maybe call it " The Knowin' Cake" where the bakery is run by Mrs. Walpurgis, a local witch who gives out cake samples to potential newlyweds. Eating the cake enables them to see their possible future

I do not like advertising stickers on my fruit! I routinely peel them off and place them on the store fixtures when buying bananas

So you just type in the PLU manually? (Bananas 4011, I know that one.)

The cashier types in the 4011. It must be a universal code because thats what they use at Wegmans. Now I'm going to call them 'four oh elevenzees' or Zees when I'm feeling hip and rad