Lawn Etiquette, is that a thing?

[AArdvark]

Excellent!

[The Happiness Engine]

ps does anyone else mow with booze in the drink holder?

When I was young enough that this was a chore I instead set the tractor to full speed and made a game about whether I was going to crash into various non-lawn objects. I always won that part, but the... quality of the cut might not have been what my father would like.

[AArdvark]

It happened again. My neighbor puttered around until I was done mowing and then he started mowing. Do I have bad breath?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Fucken insane. I cannot believe that they stop if you start while they are in mid-mow. And now my dad is dead and I can't ask him.

[Jizaboz]

I have this stupid thing between my current neighbor on one side where he either doesn't know where his yard begins, doesn't care, or whatever. So basically there is a strip of lawn waste, little trees, and high grass in like a 3-foot wide area. Not my fucking yard, dudes. Maybe after I get the big trees cut down between our 2 houses it will be more obvious.. and a lot less leaf raking for us both.

[AArdvark]

I cut my lawn in a hurry last Saturday because it was going to rain. My neighbor waited until I was done and halfway through his yard he got rained upon. If he had started at the same time as me he wouldn't have gotten wet.

I thought it was me but now I believe he's got some phobia about two mowers running on two consecutive lawns at the same time.

THE
LAWNMOWER MANIA
AARDVARK

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Does he sit out there and watch you cut yours?

I have been asking around. Nobody else has a neighbor like this. But EVERYONE is fascinated by this.

[Casual Observer]

I cut my lawn in a hurry last Saturday because it was going to rain. My neighbor waited until I was done and halfway through his yard he got rained upon. If he had started at the same time as me he wouldn't have gotten wet.

I thought it was me but now I believe he's got some phobia about two mowers running on two consecutive lawns at the same time.

THE
LAWNMOWER MANIA
AARDVARK

maybe he's scared your mower will throw a rock or something.

[Jizaboz]

Does he sit out there and watch you cut yours?

I have been asking around. Nobody else has a neighbor like this. But EVERYONE is fascinated by this.

I sometimes watch the guy behind me but from the inside of my house and through the blinds if that counts. Reason being he waits til his shit is like 3 feet high and then it becomes this entire ordeal involving the mower hitting something and breaking, having to move at a snails pace, etc.

[AArdvark]

The guy usually starts up his mower within a half hour after I'm finished. The one time he did three rows and I started mowing my lawn. He stopped his machine and puttered around his garage, like he was doing related yard stuff, and only started again after I put my mower away.

Maybe I paranoid but it's just weird

[Tdarcos]

Dear Ann Landers,
I never noticed this before when I was living in the city but now that I'm in the 'burbs I feel that there is a different set of rules. Every week I mow my lawn, so does my neighbor on the right and my neighbor on the left. But if I'm mowing my lawn they will not mow theirs until I have finished mine. A couple times I have started to mow my lawn when my right side neighbor has already started his. He will stop mowing and do other stuff, like picking up sticks or maybe tending to the mulch in the flowerbeds.

Dear Mower,

You broke one of the unwritten rules of mowsterbation (the technical name for mowing lawns.) The practice is something that is usually done in secret, because other people don't want you to watch them when they mowsterbate. They are also afraid you'll get into a "lawn measuring contest," with them, as a sign of dominance.

As soon as I finish he will fire up his mower and go back to cutting his lawn.

Okay, he's gotten over his fear of being seen, but he's afraid the two of you will end up engaging in "mutual mowsterbation" and if they're seen doing that, people will think they're homograssual.

This makes me feel like I have committed some suburban faux pas. I noticed it with the left hand neighbor as well.

They're also afraid if you would mow at the same time as either neighbor, they'd be considered bi-mowtual.

I mean, I bought the John Deere so I would fit in, (disco lights aside) but since then they have both switched to Kubota zero-turns.

People don't like John Deere. They actively fight "right to repair," trying to do anything they can to make it impossible for people who buy their equipment to either be able to repair it themselves or have whoever they want service it. Their intent, like so many other manufacturers, want to force you to only use their dealers to repair their equipment, at whatever price they want to charge, as if you never own anything, you only get to use it as they see fit. There are farmers, who have half-million dollar harvesters or planting equipment, that when something on it fails, the only thing it will tell them to do to be able to get it to work again is to call a dealer to reset it. This can cost hundreds of dollars, might require a service tech to travel hours to get there, leaving an expensive piece of equipment unusable during the most critical part of their entire operation. Or worse, they have to have it towed to the dealer who might have a two week delay before they can get to it, after they spent hundreds to get it towed. (Note from TDarcos, I am not kidding, John Deere does the same thing to owners of their equipment as Apple does to owners of its computers and iPhones.)

Avoid John Deere equipment like the plague it is. Support Right to Repair.

Is it wrong for me to start mowing if my next door neighbors have already started? Is this something like letting a bowler on the next lane go before you start your roll? Am I offending them in some unwritten yard-work manner and making myself look like a suburban newbie?

No, it's like asking your neighbor if he wants to engage in wife-swapping when he has never shown an interest. It's frowned upon, but it's not inherently wrong. Just like mowsterbation, lots of people do it, they just pretend nobody does.

[AArdvark]

(claps hands twice)

OK, people, everybody take a drink!

FYI, I can fix my mower if something goes wrong with it. I got mad skillz and access to industrial tools

[Flack]

Here's my suggestion to Aardvark. Next time you mow (it's getting late in the season, I know), mow half your yard and then park the mower. Wait until your neighbor starts mowing and then go out to finish the job.

[AArdvark]

Just to mess with his mind and as a social experiment

[AArdvark]

Update: my wife, who is retired, told me that all the neighbors around us mow their grass one at a time. I don't get it, is it too emotionally uncomfortable to cut your grass as the same as someone else? The guy across the street did his, then my next door neighbor. After that the guy on the other side of us did his then the guy across the street two houses down did his. I think we moved into an alien grass neighborhood.

THE
POD MOWER PEOPLE
AARDVARK

[Tdarcos]

Or it's the Stepford Mowers!

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

This is infuriating that these people are like this.

You gotta ask him. This has to be intentional.

[Casual Observer]

Update: my wife, who is retired, told me that all the neighbors around us mow their grass one at a time. I don't get it, is it too emotionally uncomfortable to cut your grass as the same as someone else? The guy across the street did his, then my next door neighbor. After that the guy on the other side of us did his then the guy across the street two houses down did his. I think we moved into an alien grass neighborhood.

THE
POD MOWER PEOPLE
AARDVARK

Maybe just be glad they're not shooting AR-15's into their grass at midnight then killing you.

[AArdvark]

The neighbor just cut his lawn on Wednesday. I just finished cutting mine today ( Saturday). Ten minutes after I finish he starts cutting his again, three days later.



Yesterday was just as nice, if not better than today. He could have cut it then.


Itt's moving into OCD territory

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

We have new neighbors up the hill.

Started chainsawing at 7:10AM today. Finished at 7:45. It's been cool and 65 degrees for two months so it's not a heat thing.

I feel any noise earlier than 8 AM or later than 8PM is wrong.