Gerrit's To-Do List

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Wed May 19, 2004 9:41 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Why not show her this thread to prove how serious you are?

This is a most excellent idea. It was great when significant others posted spiteful shit and it would be nice to see it again.

Oh, and CGG, what kind of soup?

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Wed May 19, 2004 11:22 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: "you can't fuck a crazy girl sane."

God, wouldn't that be great if you could. It's way too good to be true though.

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Sat May 22, 2004 2:40 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I've also heard "you can't fuck a crazy girl sane." Maybe Gerrit has done the opposite, though???

Quite possibly.

In an effort to allow both sides time to "cool down" I have announced a trip to Boston, which I will be leaving for on May 28th. There I shall receive the rest and relaxation I so richly need to work through these strenuous times. Either that or find a new girl in Boston.

Upon my announcement to Christina of this decision, I was immediately scolded for planning a trip to Boston without her. Hey, I need to clear my head, lady! Or get some.

I was instructed that, for the time I am in Boston to not call her cellphone or send her an text messages, as she'd be too angry/jealous of my excursion to respond.

There. I said it. And you know what?

It felt good. Its good to be honest.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Mon May 24, 2004 7:43 am

ChainGangGuy wrote:I was instructed that, for the time I am in Boston to not call her cellphone or send her an text messages, as she'd be too angry/jealous of my excursion to respond.

gaaaah. This one's not a keeper dude.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Tue May 25, 2004 3:09 pm

Yeah, go bury her alive and find someone new.

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Wed May 26, 2004 12:28 am

I feel it has been implied that if I dare leave on this trip to Boston, I will be dumped.

Current Boston Trip Status: GOING!!!

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Wed May 26, 2004 7:22 am

Hell yeah man, F that BS.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Wed May 26, 2004 2:34 pm

I'm pretty sure that comparatively the city of Boston has more to offer than this chick. I think you should make a check list in this thread then link to her just so she can see in how many ways Boston trumps her.

Let's see what I remember from my last trip.

1. Little play where this guy dresses up like Paul Revere and sweats his poor ass off in an chruch with no air conditioning. It's like at the end of that "Freedom Trail" thing and tickets aren't much.

2. Stores that sell t-shirts with more takes on the initials F.B.I than you thought possible.

3. This awesome little pizza place that has some pizza with so many pounds of toppings, they were celebrating their 60th or 70th aniversary when I was last there.

4. Some arcade that's just a warehouse full of games somewhere outside of Boston. They have gangs, and beer holders on the games. Best part is playing drunk people in games. They also have some good bootlegs and a Die Hard beat'em up upright with the original cabinet.

5. It's really wonderful in the summer.

Completely Off-Topic · Tue Jun 08, 2004 9:13 pm

There's some amazing vegetable sushi. And anyone who doesn't love Sweet Potato Tempura sushi is a big jerk.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 11:30 am

You still going to Boston and then trying to wrangle a trip out west, or has Boston been completely scrapped in favor of drier climes?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 11:39 am

I think he went to Boston and came back. But for everyone else:

There's possibly a ChainGangGuy visit for us JC Coloradoans!!! This is just CONTENT GOLD and anyone who doesn't think so is probably having sex with a cranberry right now.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 3:36 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I think he went to Boston and came back. But for everyone else:

There's possibly a ChainGangGuy visit for us JC Coloradoans!!! This is just CONTENT GOLD and anyone who doesn't think so is probably having sex with a cranberry right now.

This whole "fuckstick", "fucktard", and "bla bla made up shit" is really getting out of hand. Do you mean a member of the band? Can't we just go on back to saying "and anyone who doesn't think so is a douchebag" ?

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 5:15 pm

Worm wrote:This whole "fuckstick", "fucktard", and "bla bla made up shit" is really getting out of hand. Do you mean a member of the band? Can't we just go on back to saying "and anyone who doesn't think so is a douchebag" ?

Only one that has been 'on' at all in the past 3 months should be able to cast stones at one who is almost never 'off'.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 5:48 pm

Worm wrote:This whole "fuckstick", "fucktard", and "bla bla made up shit" is really getting out of hand. Do you mean a member of the band? Can't we just go on back to saying "and anyone who doesn't think so is a douchebag" ?

You don't understand, Worm -- men and women can both have sex with cranberries, because they're so damn malleable. Want something to thrust into? Carve out a little bit of sweet cranberry delight? Want something to thrust into? Shape and whittle till it's just the right size. Cranberries provide delight for everyone... everyone with patience, any way.

Besides, I don't know what you're getting at. The whole "add two words, one of which is a swear word" thing died out for everyone a while ago. Fuckstick gets the exception, because it cost former ESPN Sportscenter anchorman Brett Haber his job. (He refered to one of his camera people as a fuckstick while the camera was on and it snowballed from there.) Any made-up word that gets people fired and blacklisted is A-OK from me. But that's different than everything going on in my thread.

N'est ce pas?

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 5:48 pm

Vitriola wrote:You still going to Boston and then trying to wrangle a trip out west, or has Boston been completely scrapped in favor of drier climes?

I departed for Boston on May 27th. While away, I sneakily snooped in on the 'private' entries of Christina's blog. What I found shocked me! On June 1st, she wrote a termination letter. My termination letter. Interestingly enough, she dated the letter June 7th.

I had exactly one week to return from Boston and make ammends with my girl.

Right off the bat, my tripmates wanted to extend this trip from the 4th till the 8th. Unacceptable. Especially due to the fact that I couldn't get anyone to do anything! We had tight written schedules. Thoughtfully planned itineraries. Dandy dockets. Yet, I couldn't get anyone up and out the doors before 2:00 pm. "C'mon, folks, we can sleep in when we get back. Let's enjoy Boston!" I was ignored. We could barely knock out one (1) item per daily list. I found myself sitting around doing absolutely nothing. This was no trip. This was an absolute waste of time. And, I was getting dumped for it.

In an effort to lighten things up and have more fun, I thought we'd play a little Boston Hide 'n' Go Seek. It goes like this:

The hider disappears into the city, and hides within four blocks. The hider may only hide in a bar, pub, or other alcoholic beverage serving facility. The hider has fifteen minutes in which to finalize his location. The hider may not change venues, but should be actively drinking while waiting for the seekers to arrive.

The seekers separate and begin combing the city for the elusive hider. They may stop into any bar, pub, or restaurant, but if the hider isn't at that particular locale, the seeker must have at least one alcoholic beverage.

Well, you get the idea. Basically, if I couldn't be out knocking things off our to-do list, I'd like to at least be drinking.

The trip continued to go poorly, languishing into tedium, and at one point I was actually considering sneaking away and flying back to Atlanta. However, the census of Georgians voted for me to remain in Boston and not abandon the vacation. Fine. But still, there was that extended trip time and late return looming over my head. Where's the Lord when I need him?

For once, the Lord came through in a pinch, heartily smitting Alicia's uncle dead in Texas. And, as her family was hoping to download his remains into the earth asap, she had to fly to Austin immediately. She left Friday morning (the 4th). Having lost one trip member, I was able to convince the others to leave Saturday. I'd be back in time to work some magic and WIN THE GIRL BACK!

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 6:46 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Worm wrote:This whole "fuckstick", "fucktard", and "bla bla made up shit" is really getting out of hand. Do you mean a member of the band? Can't we just go on back to saying "and anyone who doesn't think so is a douchebag" ?
You don't understand, Worm -- men and women can both have sex with cranberries, because they're so damn malleable. Want something to thrust into? Carve out a little bit of sweet cranberry delight? Want something to thrust into? Shape and whittle till it's just the right size. Cranberries provide delight for everyone... everyone with patience, any way.

Cranberries are too small to fuck! In the world of fruits people really only fuck watermelons, sometimes cantelopes.

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 6:57 pm

Worm wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Worm wrote:This whole "fuckstick", "fucktard", and "bla bla made up shit" is really getting out of hand. Do you mean a member of the band? Can't we just go on back to saying "and anyone who doesn't think so is a douchebag" ?
You don't understand, Worm -- men and women can both have sex with cranberries, because they're so damn malleable. Want something to thrust into? Carve out a little bit of sweet cranberry delight? Want something to thrust into? Shape and whittle till it's just the right size. Cranberries provide delight for everyone... everyone with patience, any way.
Cranberries are too small to fuck! In the world of fruits people really only fuck watermelons, sometimes cantelopes.

My assumption was that Jonsey was claiming that those who disagreed with him had tiny cocks.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:45 pm

Um, I thought the general consensus was that you probably didn't want this girl back because she's a <i>snooty psycho hosebeast</i>.

Did I miss something?

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:46 pm

Worm wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Worm wrote:This whole "fuckstick", "fucktard", and "bla bla made up shit" is really getting out of hand. Do you mean a member of the band? Can't we just go on back to saying "and anyone who doesn't think so is a douchebag" ?
You don't understand, Worm -- men and women can both have sex with cranberries, because they're so damn malleable. Want something to thrust into? Carve out a little bit of sweet cranberry delight? Want something to thrust into? Shape and whittle till it's just the right size. Cranberries provide delight for everyone... everyone with patience, any way.
Cranberries are too small to fuck! In the world of fruits people really only fuck watermelons, sometimes cantelopes.

Waitasec. They collect a bunch of them and mold them into a can. That's the cranberry I was talking about.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:50 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Waitasec. They collect a bunch of them and mold them into a can. That's the cranberry I was talking about.

Who's the fucktard <i>now</i>?

Bruce