Jolt Country

I honestly think much like the majestic Phoenix on a business trip to Jersey caught in a horrible train wreck; I have burnt away all the trainwreck of my review and made it quite a bit better.

I think next I'll do AC: Nexus and Gradius V or something.

Haha, this dune buggy opening is TERRIBLE. Just incompetently designed. I have to blast it with my gravity gun to right it (never would have thought of that) and then go nowhere near they intended to drop me off (never would have thought of that) past barriers you can't get by (tried that; couldn't get by them, stopped and only went back because of a walkthrough) while an infinite amount of Starship Troopers-ripoff bugs attack me. And the dune buggy constantly falls on its side and there's no health anywhere.

You know what? Fuck this game. Something this poorly designed is a game killer. I don't care about the story, the Internet has told me that nothing gets resolved anyway and I've now got "Water Hazard," one of the dumbest levels I've ever played in part two mode. What next for mission 8? Am I on a snowmobile? Time to bring out the zeppelin? I couldn't care less. Fuck these guys, there's a reason why no shitty snowboarding X-treme Motocross game is in my collection. I honestly no longer care.

Two out of five stars.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Haha, this dune buggy opening is TERRIBLE. Just incompetently designed. I have to blast it with my gravity gun to right it (never would have thought of that) and then go nowhere near they intended to drop me off (never would have thought of that) past barriers you can't get by (tried that; couldn't get by them, stopped and only went back because of a walkthrough) while an infinite amount of Starship Troopers-ripoff bugs attack me. And the dune buggy constantly falls on its side and there's no health anywhere.

I had one problem with the buggy(heh). It fell through the ground the first time I went to flip it over, I never had a problem with it since then.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:You know what? Fuck this game. Something this poorly designed is a game killer. I don't care about the story, the Internet has told me that nothing gets resolved anyway and I've now got "Water Hazard," one of the dumbest levels I've ever played in part two mode. What next for mission 8? Am I on a snowmobile? Time to bring out the zeppelin? I couldn't care less. Fuck these guys, there's a reason why no shitty snowboarding X-treme Motocross game is in my collection. I honestly no longer care.

Two out of five stars.

I really don't know what your problem is. Much like JQW's problems with Doom 3 you're not really getting to the really meat and bones of dissapointment that HL2 represents.

SPOILRZ

The final boss was the most uninpsired fight I ever have partook in any game. This includes being slammed up against a locker by John Pupa in my Sophmore year of highschool. Though in this case I'm not against a mogoloid twice my height, quite the contrary, I have far too much power. The final boss is a few planned jumps, a few gravity gun shoots at a still target, and a really dissapointing ending. I realized they were going to pull some shit like in the first. I did not think that they would not provide a slightly enjoyable "Escape exploding building/Fanfare" FF6/FF:MQ-esque thing before pulling that shit.

Other bosses were fucking horrible too. That helicopter was a little fun; but, ultimately it had two attacks and only one that was neat. Then there are the big antlions that they abuse to fuck in Nova Prospekt well dually outlining how simple they are to beat.

Too much sniper horseshit. Too many weapons used against me that I couldn't grab and use myself actually. Manhacks, Sniper Rifles, Stunsticks, and the priest's pump action rifle (You can use this with some cheats).

It's 2004, you can give your protaginist a voice. You can still do the man of few words thing without having him a mute. Is he a mute? Like medically speaking? It's amazing how he bites his tongue through being in stasis, not aging for like ten years, and having killed a giant alien monster.

Also, deaths have not been done better in any game since SOFII and no amount of physics engines will fix that. I wish people would just start copying what was possibly the best anatomical representation of death in 3D I've seen in my life.

HL2 game is an example in potential lost. You have to find a way to play past that. Regress, do that weird "back in the womb" exercise, just try to enjoy the motherfucking game.

I was thinking of making a new IF game with an essentially silent protagonist. But really... it's been done as well as it can be done in HL2. It's a genre-ending performance. It's stupid, of course, for the guy not to speak (I suspect that he'll have one line at the end of HL3; you heard it here first).

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:(I suspect that he'll have one line at the end of HL3; you heard it here first).

I hope the line is, "Dude, there's a million fine-looking women in the world. But most of them won't bring you lasagna at work. They'll just cheat on you."

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I was thinking of making a new IF game with an essentially silent protagonist. But really... it's been done as well as it can be done in HL2. It's a genre-ending performance. It's stupid, of course, for the guy not to speak (I suspect that he'll have one line at the end of HL3; you heard it here first).

Yeah, fuck Valve for pulling this shit. Which no doubt will be revisited in the add-on. Though if you can play past this shit there is a fun game in there. Truthfully it's not like trying to find the good in Daggerfall, or Trespasser. Though it's just suprising that you have to WORK to find the fun in HL2.