Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 10:05 pm
#7: GRAND THEFT AUTO III (2001)
Perhaps the greatest testament to this game's greatness, if you can get past the astonishing technical achievement it represented, is the fact that it might have been even better without the actual "game" part of it. If they'd packaged it up and shipped it out with the instructions, "Here, here's a fucked up city. Do whatever the fuck you want", it would still rank at least seventh on this list. My greatest memories of this game have nothing to do with the storyline, or any of the missions, or any of the characters. In fact, I cannot, sitting here writing this, remember what the story was, or who any of the characters were, including the PC.
What I do remember is spending hour after hour whipping around town, stealing the coolest car I could find, seeing what goofy shit and brutal violence I could let loose upon Liberty City, a city so perfectly and vividly realized that I would occasionally even stop for red lights. There was and never will be a reason to do it, but every once in a while, I'd do it anyway. Then I'd shoot a cop in the head and steal his car. It's that kind of game.
Is the game bad for our children? Yes, yes, it most definitely is. It is the first and only game I've ever felt that about. Even its sequels, rife with foul language and nakediddity pale in comparison, because the shock had worn off. But this game is definitely bad for our children, and also our society at large. I myself looked at the world differently for the weeks after I binged nearly 10 hours a day on this game. I saw a car on the street, and for a moment it flashed in my head that I had the means to get that car. It occurred to me I could steal that old lady's purse. I could use the handbrake to slide around corners. And there must be a gun store near here somewhere.
And this all glosses past the fact that one of the hidden mini-games included (the taxi) was essentially identical to Crazy Taxi, which another publisher was asking full price for. And in GTA3, it is merely an afterthought, something to while away the time when you got bored with the rest of it. Which you never, ever would.
So it is one of the most amazing achievements in computer gaming history, and also a game that nobody should have been allowed to play, and is responsible for most of society's ills to this day. I don't know how to resolve this conflict other than by saying that GTA3 is the seventh best game of all time. And writing this review, I feel it possibly should have been higher. But, the save system sucked (happy, Jonsey?) so, seventh it is.
Perhaps the greatest testament to this game's greatness, if you can get past the astonishing technical achievement it represented, is the fact that it might have been even better without the actual "game" part of it. If they'd packaged it up and shipped it out with the instructions, "Here, here's a fucked up city. Do whatever the fuck you want", it would still rank at least seventh on this list. My greatest memories of this game have nothing to do with the storyline, or any of the missions, or any of the characters. In fact, I cannot, sitting here writing this, remember what the story was, or who any of the characters were, including the PC.
What I do remember is spending hour after hour whipping around town, stealing the coolest car I could find, seeing what goofy shit and brutal violence I could let loose upon Liberty City, a city so perfectly and vividly realized that I would occasionally even stop for red lights. There was and never will be a reason to do it, but every once in a while, I'd do it anyway. Then I'd shoot a cop in the head and steal his car. It's that kind of game.
Is the game bad for our children? Yes, yes, it most definitely is. It is the first and only game I've ever felt that about. Even its sequels, rife with foul language and nakediddity pale in comparison, because the shock had worn off. But this game is definitely bad for our children, and also our society at large. I myself looked at the world differently for the weeks after I binged nearly 10 hours a day on this game. I saw a car on the street, and for a moment it flashed in my head that I had the means to get that car. It occurred to me I could steal that old lady's purse. I could use the handbrake to slide around corners. And there must be a gun store near here somewhere.
And this all glosses past the fact that one of the hidden mini-games included (the taxi) was essentially identical to Crazy Taxi, which another publisher was asking full price for. And in GTA3, it is merely an afterthought, something to while away the time when you got bored with the rest of it. Which you never, ever would.
So it is one of the most amazing achievements in computer gaming history, and also a game that nobody should have been allowed to play, and is responsible for most of society's ills to this day. I don't know how to resolve this conflict other than by saying that GTA3 is the seventh best game of all time. And writing this review, I feel it possibly should have been higher. But, the save system sucked (happy, Jonsey?) so, seventh it is.
