Jolt Country

Thanks Puck, I've just been ripped out of everybody's head.

Do not be fooled by this charlatan Space Puck and his atrociously colored fonts. I Drake Blaze, Space Hero!, being a hero for all of space (which, of course, only exists in the future) can assure you no one types like that! But don't worry, Future Historian, my associate Space! Film Historian, had the following answer to your question:

After flopping in "A Very Tenacious Christmas: The Tenacious D Christmas Spectacular", Jack Black will drop off the hollywood radar for a decade before doing a John Travolta-esque comeback in 2010.

Once View Askew Productions closes shop, Jason Lee will be consigned to romantic comedy hell, never again producing an even remotely appealing movie. In 2007, however, he and Owen Wislon will achieve commercial (if not artistic) success in "Chasing Shanghai Dusks", a daring homosexual romantic comedy. Their combined "nonthreatening cute and funny guy" charm will draw female viewers in droves, eventually supplanting Titanic as the film to obsess the most preteen girls in history.

When this whole thread began, I found myself nodding silently along with Ben, occasionally mouthing "amen, brother."

Today I became one of these people:

Ben wrote:

Code: Select all

"Aren't movies horrible anymore?"
"Oh, yes, definitely."
"Hey, do you want to go see [horrible movie] next week?"
"Whoa, hell yes!!"

I saw "A Guy Thing". Yes, there was a girl involved in getting me to see it. I actually laughed quite a bit. But I'm not proud. I'm not proud of anything I've done.

Greg

gsdgsd wrote:I actually laughed quite a bit. But I'm not proud. I'm not proud of anything I've done.

FUCKING OWNED, PINBACK. I'm going to go round up some friends... OK, that's a lie, but I am going to sit quietly by myself in the theatre for that one now. Ach! Ach! Ach!

I heard there's not much Miss Blair in it, though. :_(

You're only embarrassing yourself.

You know, I caved in today and rented "Signs". I saw the groundbreaking success of "Sixth Sense", watched it, thought it was well made, but sucked.

Then I saw "Unbreakable", and thought that it was also well made, and sucked, but sucked less than Sixth Sense.

Now with Signs, I give Mr. M. Night "I have the dumbest name ever" Shyamalan's third movie.

Well made.

Sucked so hard my television almost imploded.

I figured out the problem, though. Written, Directed, and Produced by M. Night Shyamalan. The direction is pretty decent. Production values first rate.

Motherfucker CANNOT WRITE. God, what a horrible movie. Horrible. Feh. I guess the "M" stands for "Maybe I should learn how to write a decent movie, but then again, what the hell for, since everything I do gets drooled on by all the critics, and the money is flowing in faster than I can roll it up and snort coke with it off a hooker's tits."

Lord.

I thought Sixth Sense was good in a slightly bland way. I thought Unbreakable was great but a bit rough in the beginning. Signs, while not terrible, was like an extended 'amazing stories' episode, which doesn't completely lend itself to the genre.

Sixth Sense.... wasn't bad. I got sucked in by the twist.

Unbreakable... I liked it more the second and third time I saw it. (I bought the DVD; I didn't go to the theatre to see it.) The ending was spoiled by the pieces of shit at "www.dumbassandthefag.com," and I have no qualms in saying that they are two fucking buckets of human garbage. I have not been to their website since. B. Fatt at www.bfatt-lazy.com has never spoiled a film, and he reviews everything, even true shit. Regardless of whether one liked Unbreakable or not, it was not so OVERTLY crappy that a movie reviewer spoiling it was "all good."

Signs... liked it the best of his flicks so far. (Saw it with JC's Danzaland as a matter of fact.)

Overall, I really like how Shyamalan went and picked "Ghost Story," "Superhero Story" and "Aliens Story" and made movies out of them. I'm going to get unbearable for a moment and equate that with the games I've tried to write, but only because I fail at trying to do the same thing: I tried Splatterpunk, Superhero, Horror and Cyberpunk for the four big attempts, but they all came out rather similar.

Oh, and the fact that Pinback spelled his name correctly elevates him above 99.999999% of all people who hate the guy's flicks. I can say that I am proud to call Mr Parrish a friend because he did not go for the easy snide comment.

But how he liked Spielturd's alien flick better is just beyond me. Shit, wait, I need to go and change I spelled tha

He (M. Trite ShyamaSUCK) is just a bad writer, that's all. I really want to like his movies, as they're obviously labors of love, and I don't fault the guy for trying, and I don't begrudge him his success.

He just can't write. Either that or he intentionally aims for the lowest common denomenator, in which case I take back what I said about his films being labors of love, and instead accuse him of being money grubbing scum.

Take your pick.

I think the writing is a bit dry and unnatural but I still enjoy the result a good deal.