RetroRomper wrote:I'm far more afraid of the quotes around the word relationship, as I'll have to mentally wade through the last week of our adventures and travails to properly understand exactly what you mean (and if I get it wrong, you'll "cut me" as it were).
Before we can get to the bottom of that, someone needs to establish if they are they sneer quotes or scare quotes?
Maybe that is after the fourth date when you decide you "really like me?"
It will be before that, because I am going to in-line a giant picture of a cheeseburger in this thread!
She literally slapped me across the head for giving our date "two out of five stars."
hapticanimal wrote:Thank you kindly, Ice Cream Jonsey. As I type RR is prepping what I'm sure will prove to be a weak attempt at dishonoring me.
I understand. I'm going to clean up around here though, since we have a new person over. This means that I am going to put plastic over the furniture, get plates out for the pictures of cheeseburgers, and then ban Tdarcos, Casual Observer, my brother and the spambot. That should create the impression that Retro has a tidied room, a clean living area and a great deal of financial independence.
Retro also implies that the first date is still going on, so rather than ask "How was the first date?" I'll ask: How was the first couple hours of getting to know him?
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:How was the first couple hours of getting to know him?
Non stop boredom punctuated by the occasional frantic desire to chew my own leg off in an attempt to escape the shackles he's got me in. Other than that, fantastic.[/quote]
Just to keep everyone in the loop, she deliberately left me guessing as to her intention with her definition of "relationship." Now I can safely guess (sort of), that she was using implied sarcasm, which means she really is enjoying our time together!
RetroRomper wrote:she deliberately left me guessing as to her intention with her definition of "relationship."
What kind of girl would I be if I didn't deliberately keep you guessing on a regular basis? Also, it's no fun if you're not continually baffled and befuddled.
RetroRomper wrote:Now I can safely guess
I have received a lecture, from RR, on no less than 6 different occasions, about the dangers of expectations. Now he's expecting me to be consistent enough for him to make guesses that, were they wrong, would result in his immediate dismissal from my delightful company? The fact that he is willing to take that risk makes me doubt our "relationship."
After coughing so hard that I began spitting up blood, my wife made me go to the doctor on Thursday. I am now taking seven or eight pills twice a day. Most of them are new prescriptions, although at least one of them is old stock from our cupboard, and I don't even know what the hell two of them are. (Sue says they're good for me, so I take them.)
That being said, I'm not sure if this thread is really real, or simply the result of this medicinal cocktail swimming around in my hot tub of a gut. Is the girl RR met online really posting here? Did someone get cut? Is someone going to get cut?
I'm going to go lay down now. If I find a knife under my pillow, I'm going to freak the freak out.
Flack wrote:Is the girl RR met online really posting here?
Yup, that is exactly what's happening. Hi! I decided that to truly drive RR mad I had to invade his life in every way imaginable. I mean, we've done the Facebook friending, seeing each other's abodes, getting squelchy (first person to correctly guess the reference wins a cookie!), and generally destroying each other's carefully constructed existences.
Flack wrote:Did someone get cut? Is someone going to get cut?
No and yes. I just haven't decided the when and where.
To summarize, the thread is really real. RR has achieved the holy grail of geekdom and met a girl online. You should congratulate him and start planning his memorial tribute.
hapticA wrote:I've been brandishing a lot of things at RR but have yet to go for a knife. Most recently there was a rusty spork. Most often I've been brandishing my breasts.
RR is still asleep so I FINALLY have some time to do what I have been meaning to, talk to you guys!
Update- Well, I'm still here, that probably says it best. Neither of us is suffering any physical damage. However, the emotional scars will last a lifetime. I'm in the process of looking for a therapist so I can get a jump on the damage accounting. I'm excited.
Other than that, we've settled into a routine of sorts, one where we have no idea what is happening from day to day and the only constants are RR's incessant emotional torture and my desire to have a cupcake.
On that note, I'm off to wake him up and find a cupcake. Or 12. What? Emotional torture takes a lot out of a girl. And I haven't had a cupcake in AGES.
On my last anniversary, the wife and I stopped by Pinkitzel to buy some cupcakes. For about 30 seconds we had this delusion that we were going to buy cupcakes for all of our friends at work to celebrate our 15th anniversary. After entering the store we discovered that designer cupcakes are $3.50/each, so instead we bought half a dozen cupcakes, ate two of them, and split the other four among all our friends (after greatly altering our list of "friends"). And I think two people may have had to split one.
It's hard to enjoy a cupcake when, after every bite, your spouse says, "there goes 75 cents".
As a rule I do not like cupcakes and I hate frosting. I had these at a wedding last October and shoveled six of them down my gullet. They have only gotten better since.
Why's that, friend? I still haven't had a burger yet, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Why can't you support me a little here? At Five Guys Burgers, there's five guys keeping each other on the up and up. This BBS is fucking Zero Guys. That's what this shithole is.
