Jolt Country

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 11:57 am**

pinback wrote:Why DID it reset my # of posts, anyway? It still knows when I joined.

You know what a Java programmer would say about that.

if (user.numberOfPosts() < user.actualNumberOfPosts()) {
this.bbsSoftware.sucks();
}

I don't think it's a very good idea to name your method just numberOfPosts().

Surely you mean

if (user.getNumberOfPosts() < user.getActualNumberOfPosts()) {
return bbs.getSoftwareSuckage();
}

Don't you?

Bruce

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 12:00 pm**

Yeah, well, Pinback's world of programming peaked when he wrote the on-demand rooms in Annoyotron, and he's been doing nothing but hurling savage insults at others since then.

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 12:39 pm**

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Yeah, well, Pinback's world of programming peaked when he wrote the on-demand rooms in Annoyotron, and he's been doing nothing but hurling savage insults at others since then.

10 REM AUTOPINBACK BY PINBACK
20 PRINT "YOU ARE A BIG POOPYHEAD!"
30 GOTO 20

Bruce

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 12:50 pm**

Hee hee. I am laughing with delight! Good putdown, Bruce. Can we form an alliance?

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 1:48 pm**

Jester wrote:Hee hee. I am laughing with delight! Good putdown, Bruce. Can we form an alliance?

I dunno....you're not registered. You could be a gimmick poster. You could even be Pinback in disguise.

10 REM AUTOPINBACK 2.0 BY PINBACK
20 DIM A$(6)
30 A$(0) = "A BIG POOPYHEAD"
40 A$(1) = "GAY"
50 A$(2) = "STUPIDER THAN MY CAT FRODO"
60 A$(3) = "ABOUT AS ATTRACTIVE AS MONKEY MONKEY"
70 A$(4) = "A TOAD-FELCHING KRIPTROTTER"
80 A$(5) = "THE TURD IN THE PUNCHBOWL OF COMEDY"
90 PRINT "YOU ARE ";
100 X = INT(RND(1) * 6)
110 PRINT A$(X);
120 PRINT "!"
130 GOTO 90

Bruce

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 3:34 pm**

10 REM AUTOPINBACK 2.1 BY PINBACK
20 DIM A$(7)
30 A$(0) = "A BIG POOPYHEAD"
40 A$(1) = "GAY"
50 A$(2) = "STUPIDER THAN MY CAT FRODO"
60 A$(3) = "ABOUT AS ATTRACTIVE AS MONKEY MONKEY"
70 A$(4) = "THE WORST MONKEY MONKEY IMPERSONATOR EVER"
80 A$(5) = "A TOAD-FELCHING KRIPTROTTER"
90 A$(6) = "THE TURD IN THE PUNCHBOWL OF COMEDY"
100 PRINT "YOU ARE ";
110 X = INT(RND(1) * 7)
120 PRINT A$(X);
130 PRINT "!"
140 GOTO100

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 4:16 pm**

Code: Select all

#!/usr/bin/perl -w
#AutoPinback 5.1 
# by someone with more coding skills than Pinback
# dependencies&#58; Perl, PostgreSQL and
# installed Perl Pg interface

use Pg;

$HOST = "localhost";
$PORT = "5432";
$OPTIONS = "";
$TTY = ""&#58;
$DB = "insultdb";

$conn = Pg&#58;setdb&#40;$HOST,$PORT,$OPTIONS,$TTY,$DB&#41;;
$conn = Pg&#58;&#58;connectdb&#40;&#41;;
die "Could not connect to Insult Database" unless &#40;$conn&#41;;

# Move this into the loop to slow execution but allow 
# dynamic DB updates
#  without restarting AutoPinback...

$rowres = $result&#40;"select count&#40;\*&#41; from insultdb"&#41;;

die "Could not determine number of insults" 
    unless &#40;$rowres->resultstatus == PGRES_COMMAND_OK&#41;;

$rows = $rowres->getvalue&#40;1,1&#41;;

while &#40;1&#41; &#123;
    $row = int&#40;rand&#40;$rows&#41;&#41;;
    $result = $result&#40;"select insult from $DB where insultid=$row"&#41;;
    die "Missing insult at row $row" 
        unless &#40;$result->resultstatus == PGRES_COMMAND_OK&#41;;
    $insult = $result->getvalue&#40;1,1&#41;;
    print "You are $insult!\n";
&#125;

exit&#40;0&#41;; # Never reached

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 7:23 pm**

I'm turning eighteen in three months. I though think writing programs to insult people is hillarious.

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 9:40 pm**

"I don't drink. No interest." - Worm
"All drugs are bad." - Worm
"I guess I just don't like 'fun'." - Worm

Yeah, good call Robb, that's exactly who you want in Vegas with you.

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 10:06 pm**

Ben wrote:Yeah, good call Robb, that's exactly who you want in Vegas with you.

GCE this year -- you up for this shit or not? Vegas, Jonsey, One of the Bruces, Pin "Pinner" Back, and whoever else that decides to pump it the hell up. Old video games, old video game references, the extra room we have to rent for Bruce's beard, and, right, BEAUTIFUL BABIES after the nerds put the expo to bed at 4:00pm. You in with this or not?

(Also, if you'd like to experience what it was like for me to type the above message, go get "Out the Window" by Bowling for Soup, and play it really loudly. It's the second most annoying song I've heard today, but in a good way.)

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 10:08 pm**

Don't forget me, guys! I'll be there too!

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 10:08 pm**

That's right... my bad... we'll be bringing him, too.

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 10:26 pm**

Do I actually have to GO to any "old video game" convention or whatever it is? Or can I just kick it at the poker table and brewpub all day while you get your Yar's Revenge on?

Maybe we can meet up for dinner.

Posted: **Wed Apr 16, 2003 10:27 pm**

It seems to be on my birthday. I'll give it a go, if finances are decent around then and plane tickets aren't too bad. I'd be interested in seeing these people especially:

MR. DON BLUTH
MR. DAVID CRANE
THE FAT MAN & TEAM FAT
MR. GARRY KITCHEN

It'd definitely be something to do. At least, I know there will be more to do than at the Midwest Classic.

Posted: **Thu Apr 17, 2003 9:32 am**

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Ben wrote:Yeah, good call Robb, that's exactly who you want in Vegas with you.
GCE this year -- you up for this shit or not? Vegas, Jonsey, One of the Bruces, Pin "Pinner" Back, and whoever else that decides to pump it the hell up. Old video games, old video game references, the extra room we have to rent for Bruce's beard, and, right, BEAUTIFUL BABIES after the nerds put the expo to bed at 4:00pm. You in with this or not?

Yeah, sure. That's a real tentative "sure" based on the presumption that I won't have to be on site elsewhere then, and I can afford a cheap ticket on SWA, and that it really is in the budget then.

We might not have to get an extra room for my beard; he's slimming down so I get fewer anal probes going to Italy next week. I may or may not grow him out again.

And if Worm doesn't drink, well, I can make up for him. Are we all going to wear suits the entire weekend, Reservoir Dogs style?

Bruce

Posted: **Thu Apr 17, 2003 9:34 am**

Awwww sheeeeit.

Bill Kunkel will be there.

Who's with me, if we just happen to decide to get shitfaced and then kick the living shit out of him in a hotel stairwell?

Bruce

Posted: **Thu Apr 17, 2003 2:44 pm**

Ben wrote:Do I actually have to GO to any "old video game" convention or whatever it is? Or can I just kick it at the poker table and brewpub all day while you get your Yar's Revenge on?

SURE!!! IF YOU WANT TO MISS OUT ON ALL THE FUN LOL

Maybe we can meet up for dinner.

Dinner? Fag. I'm buying a cache of "power pills" the day of the event and swilling them down with cans of "Mr. Mountain Do!" until either the event is over or my heart gives out.

Posted: **Thu Apr 17, 2003 2:46 pm**

bruce wrote:Bill Kunkel will be there.

Who's with me, if we just happen to decide to get shitfaced and then kick the living shit out of him in a hotel stairwell?

What's your beef with this guy again? Is it his games? Look, if I decided that I was going to punch every guy who made a shitty video game in the face -- if I were to make that my life's work -- I'd be as empty and depressed as Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged there in "Life, the Universe and Everything."

You mentioned something about alcohol and violence in there, though, so without really getting into the specifics, I should state that I am "with you." I've "got your back," as the kids love to say.

Posted: **Thu Apr 17, 2003 9:13 pm**

Ben wrote:"I guess I just don't like 'fun'." - Worm

... I put fun in quotation marks?

Posted: **Thu Apr 17, 2003 10:23 pm**

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
bruce wrote:Bill Kunkel will be there.

Who's with me, if we just happen to decide to get shitfaced and then kick the living shit out of him in a hotel stairwell?
What's your beef with this guy again? Is it his games?

< Ben >
No, you stupid shitbag.
< /Ben >

It's because when he reviewed The Lost Treasures of Infocom he basically said, "This SuXX0rZ! Remakes of these games might be cool if they remade them, like, with spiffy graphics."

Go play Sins Against Mimesis to see The Kunkel in action.

Bruce

Jolt Country

The Official Jolt Country E3 2004 Thread