Jolt Country

I actually pulled out a couple of paperbacks and read real print for the first time in who knows how long. Funny, all my neighbors had generators going three hours into the outage, like they've done this before. We had candles and flashlights

Last winter we lost power and then had a water pipe burst, so we lost water as well. I've dealt with power outages before and know what to expect, but not having water freaked out something in my caveman brain. After a day of no power you start reading paperback books, and after a day of no water (and being snowed in) you start putting snow in trash cans and waiting for it to melt so you can have a glass of water. It bothered me on a level I did not expect.

It actually takes me a long time to run out of power at this point. Like, when power runs out here, everybody just switches to their phones and tablets. When those run out of power, we dig out the battery packs that recharge the phones and tablets. Like Aardvark's neighbors, if it looks like it's going to be more than a few hours (or overnight) then I drag out the generator which, along with running the fridge and the blower fan for the HVAC, can also recharge the battery packs, which in turn recharge the phones and tablets. I've got about 15 gallons of gas on hand, so this cycle can continue for a few days without leaving the house. We've also done the thing where we charge phones and battery packs in the car while it's running in the driveway. In an apocalypse, sure, you run out of gasoline and eventually the chain dries up. They have battery devices now for camping that will run things for several days which cost $500ish, and they work with portable solar panels. I've considered investing in one of those but it's just not worth the money for the once every other year we have an outage that lasts more than a couple of hours.

In 2010, my family did an experiment and attempted to avoid using "entertainment technology" for 5 days. Here's how it began, and ended.

Beginning: https://www.robohara.com/?p=2236
Ending: https://www.robohara.com/?p=2239

So we were discussing restaurants, as there is an AArdvark birthday in the semi near future. I'll actually go out to eat this year. I named a particular restaurant and it went like this:

Me: How about Restaurant A?

Daughter-in-law: Oh, yeah. A bunch of us went there a few months ago, I forgot why though.

Me: Because you were hungry? (Laughs)

I got eye-rolls from my wife and son, who accused me of dad-jokes

A friend of ours gave us a basket of homade soaps. I asked her if she made them from missing hitchhikers.

Got me a big old dose of hairy eyeball!

I saw this roadside sign the other day and I wrote a song in the car


White chicks with money
At our bridal show
White chicks with money
Hoes with lots of dough
We want
White chicks with money
It's our target audience
White chicks with money
Won't spare no expense

News media is not allowed to use the catchphrase 'greenwashing' anymore. I demand this!

Addendum: what rhymes with 'bridezilla'?

Weregorilla?

Ok. I can make up something about suits wearing gorillas and she's a bridezilla

AArdvark wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2022 2:09 pm Addendum: what rhymes with 'bridezilla'?

Dyed Pilla (Pillow)
Cried on my Pilla
Snipe Killa
Lied Stilla
Rototilla
Quesa dilla
Wide Chilla?

AArdvark wrote: Mon Mar 21, 2022 6:04 pm A friend of ours gave us a basket of homade soaps. I asked her if she made them from missing hitchhikers.

I thought they made them from the contents of dumpsters at liposuction clinics... At least, that was what Ed Norton said...

AArdvark wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2022 2:09 pm Addendum: what rhymes with 'bridezilla'?

Filezilla, the open-source FTP program
Clonezilla, the open-source disk copying utility...

I got it.

Get yer DJ
Get yer flowers
Gonna be your finest hour
Goin crazy with bridezilla power
At our bridal show

AArdvark wrote: Mon Apr 04, 2022 2:57 pm I got it.

Get yer DJ
Get yer flowers
Gonna be your finest hour
Goin crazy with bridezilla power
At our bridal show

Hell yeah Vaark. Only winner of the Remote Viewing Contest either making shit up on point or knows a bit of the ways of the Wu-Tang.

"I list fat bags of stufff,
I got white WINE and doves,
and I'm about to go get GIFTED"

(That's not how it goes of course but I queued this up to the revenant section)

I think it's weird that there's a Jack White and a Jack Black. How do they not collide and cause a nuclear reaction?

I'm going to coin a phrase. Any time I post a searchable fact I'm going to add 'no Google' to show that I could look it up but dont care to.

Like when a guy compliments another guy about something and adds ' no homo' to show that the compliment wasn't intended to have romantic undertones.

THINK motherfucker no Google

I enjoyed my work here because I instantly thought of it, thank goodness Discord has timestamps and not the stupid "yesterday" and "just now" shit.

Bring your friends, come on have a look
It's party time, you set the big hook
But don't forget daddy's checkbook
When you come to our Bridal Show

RobB, that was funny as hell!


THE
HOAGIE ROLL
AARDVARK