Jolt Country

Unlike the movies, a gun is usually still loud as fuck with a "suppressor" on it.

When it hit the news that the Bronx Zoo was testing tigers, I was of course outraged like all red-blooded Americans were at the revelation that they are now testing animals instead of, like, us. The only way it can get lower in terms of who is getting the COVID-19 tests first is if we see a story leak that ISIS is testing and had to pull the dynamite coat off one of their guys before sending him to the market because his result came back positive.

Is it really that important to get tested? What's the point?

I mean, aside from the fact that it's the most important thing in the world right now?

Did I stumble upon BAD TAKE FRIDAY?

The tigers will all have to sit in their cages day and night and not go anywhere. So it'd be just like normal, except for the tiger masks.

THE
DETROIT BASEBALL
AARDVARK

I wonder how Runner is faring through all of this.

Now it's GOOD TAKE FRIDAY.

The real winner of the subtractive leg competition

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Fri Apr 10, 2020 8:18 am I mean, aside from the fact that it's the most important thing in the world right now?

OK, why? What will change if you get tested? What will change if you're positive and what if you're negative?

RealNC wrote: Fri Apr 10, 2020 4:49 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Fri Apr 10, 2020 8:18 am I mean, aside from the fact that it's the most important thing in the world right now?

OK, why? What will change if you get tested? What will change if you're positive and what if you're negative?

If I get tested and it turns out I've developed antibodies I can now sell my blood for sick people to drink. You know where gsdgsd is this last week? He's doing shots of sambuka and eating dine-in Hooters wings because he's making more money from the black market fluid trade AND he can't get it again. But you know what they call a guy trying to sell untested whole blood? A pervert. A garden variety pervert, at that.

I just want a better life. Don't you want a better life with me? They can swab two cheeks per test now if they use both ends of the swab. I implore you to be my coronabuddy.

https://www.businessinsider.com/gop-sen ... nyt-2020-7

"GOP Sen. Tom Cotton called slavery a 'necessary evil'"

A guy named Cotton is telling us how necessary slavery is. Also trending on Twitter is a DJ out here, Doctor Johnny Rabies, who did an entire segment on how necessary it was for the Russians to murder that dog Laika in outer space. At least I think that's what he was saying, he seems to be spitting a lot on the mic.

LoL I wonder if the NYT will bother including themselves in this grand "project"
https://greatgameindia.com/founders-new ... aveowners/

Billy Mays wrote: Fri Apr 10, 2020 9:25 am I wonder how Runner is faring through all of this.

I don't know if you were around when it happened, but Runner ran off one night about three years ago. As I said then, since I could not drive forward over the threshold of the front door, I hsd to turn around and back in. The sneaky little bastard waited until I could not see him, then either ran alongside, or under, my chair and out into the front yard, I tried to chase him to get him back but there are lots of places a cat can go that I could not. He ran off for parts unknown and never came back, despite the fact that 5 other times when he got out he came back.

I presume he died. At least it wasn't a Korean neighborhood or I might suspect more sinister outcomes.

Tdarcos wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 3:47 amI don't know if you were around when it happened, but Runner ran off one night about three years ago.

I was, I remember being both incredibly sad for you and at the exact same time laughing to the point of curling over on the floor and nearly passing out. I don't know what that emotion is called.

Tdarcos wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 3:47 ambut Runner ran off one night about three years ago...despite the fact that 5 other times when he got out he came back.

Wait, what? You had the cat for 2 weeks, it already ran off 5 different times in those two weeks, and you didn't implement some sort of system to prevent it from happening again? You just kept rolling the dice until one day "looks like the cat ain't coming back, oh well, what are you gonna do?". You are an irresponsible pet owner. How did you even get the cat in the first place?

Billy Mays wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 10:17 amYou are an irresponsible pet owner. How did you even get the cat in the first place?

Billy is late to this party, we already told Tdarcos that he shouldn't be responsible for another living thing. At the time I think one of the biggest concerns was the many buckets of warm pee around the apartment.

Billy Mays wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 10:17 am Wait, what? You had the cat for 2 weeks, it already ran off 5 different times in those two weeks, and you didn't implement some sort of system to prevent it from happening again?

We all kind of assumed it would by drawn back by the owner's gravitational pull.

I'm all for team-building exercises but this was probably the wrong year for the entire team to split into pairs and re-enact the clay pot scene from "Ghost."

13 days after his death, Herman Cain is tweeting again:



Twitter's not the only social media platform Cain is active on again, fill out your questionnaire to his liking on OkCupid and you may just find yourself with a date to fuck through his coffin's knothole.

Ope, he's also active again on Facebook and has become the first person to have changed his living status to "It's Complicated."