Jolt Country

AArdvark wrote:(Picture with captions: Free refiills at the vomitorium)

Wrong.

I got dinged on this one because I discovered that, like many people, had it wrong too. The Roman "Vomitorium" is a term for an exit tunnel from the seating area of a stadium. It has nothing to do with the places where people went to throw up after they ate too much.

Maybe there were free refills at the exit, joo ever think about that? Besides, in my world I can give free refills wherever I want. You just want me to be wrong. And I refuse to be wrong.

Money laundering is a big problem and so the banks have new regulations to combat this insidious crime. Of course that means new rules for everyone, even us peons. Use the ATM to deposit cash. It's easier.

In other, related issues;
There's a cash transaction record that gets filled out whenever anyone deposits or withdraws X amount of cash. It used to be ten grand but until recently it's been reduced to five. The CTRs goes to the government, who monitors any suspicious activity. Money going overseas to aid the terrorists, ect.
So these quick-e-mart guys think they can hide this by making deposits just under the amount required to need a CTR. But that's called deposit structuring and bank employees, like my wife, look for it and find it. That information also goes to the Gov't. They've shut down at least two convenience stores in the area after a tip off from the bank led investigators to discover illegal money being wired overseas. It's drug money. After all, how does a rinky-dink gas station down in the 'hood have nine thousand dollar deposits every day of the week.

Right, but monitoring every five thousand deposit is insane. INSANE. The text on each dollar says that it is supposed to be able to be used for all debts, public and private.

Of course, that was back before the current crop of politicians ruined everything.

I dunno. The government monitoring any deposit is creepy as all hell to me. I know they are trying to catch bad guys, but most of the bad guys they are catching are people selling drugs, which is a made-up crime by the government for the most part.

They just look for trends, I bet. Like the same people making the same amount of deposits to the same place. If it brings up enough of a red flag they probably throw it to a human investigator.

I wonder if the drug lords were to pay taxes on the money they make if the government wouldn't get so sore at them. That's the whole reason they made the stuff illegal, right?

(Uh oh, the Robinson response hairs on the back of my neck are going woo-woo-woo)


THE
NEW HANDLE
AARDVARK

AArdvark wrote: I wonder if the drug lords were to pay taxes on the money they make if the government wouldn't get so sore at them. That's the whole reason they made the stuff illegal, right?

1. The problem is the "baseline" and to avoid detection you need to be below the amount of what is "usual and customary" for that type of business. One way to get rid of lots of cash was the opposite of some ordinary business, but instead open a check cashing store.

2. Use more banks, not less. Right now I could open, in this neighborhood, a checking account at Wells Fargo, Suntrust, Citibank and Bank of America without having to travel more than 6 blocks to get to any of them. And I'm living in a residential area. In downtown Washington there's probably at least 20 different banks within a 6 block radius of any Metrorail station and there are probably more than 50 different banks in DC alone.

3. Paying taxes doesn't mean you won't get caught. The IRS prosecuted the operators of a very successful coin laundry, who were using it not only for the customers to launder clothes but they were using it to try and launder their dirty laundry err I mean cash. The IRS prosecuted them for paying too much in taxes. The IRS proved that for the amount of water, natural gas, and electricity they were buying they could not possibly have done enough washes and dryings to account for the amount of declared income they claimed. They probably should have cut their wires across to use more electricity to power marijuana growing operations in nearby houses, piping waste heat back to the laundry for exhaust.

I feel much better.

The next time I go to to a laundromat I'm gonna buy some coke and heroin.


THE
REAL SPIN CYCLE
AARDVARK

AArdvark wrote:I feel much better.

The next time I go to to a laundromat I'm gonna buy some coke and heroin.


THE
REAL SPIN CYCLE
AARDVARK

'Vark, you got it wrong. They weren't dealing drugs out of the laundromat; it was a legitimate business. They were using the laundromat for money laundering.

Hey, you want to do a doodle? Show a guy pulling bags of cash - bags in the shape of a teardrop with a dollar sign on them - coming out of a front-loading washer, with the caption "Guido finds a new use for his washer - money laundering."

There's a big scene of Joey "pants" Pantolino literally doing money laundering in the movie Bound.

Hey! I found all my old crazy doodles! Stay tuned for a deluge of weirdness from days gone by...

I'm using Postimage to host my crazy doodles now. Much faster than photobucket and no popup ads. Half the time Photobucket hangs up my browser and I have to start over. That's no good.


THE
LINDA RONSTADT
WOULDN'T USE IT EITHER
AARDVARK