Jolt Country

I just found out we're invited to a Star Wars themed wedding this upcoming May. May the 4th to be exact (of course!)
Kinda hoping that we weren't being invited. It's a friend of a friend so we won't know anyone. The good news is that we don't have to dress up in costume or anything and the reception is at a winery in the Finger Lakes region.
I fear the Bride/Groom dance will be a tune by Meco. I fear we will have to line dance to the Cantina Song.


THE
I'VE GOT A BAD FEELING
ABOUT THIS
AARDVARK

Well, if there's a bar, don't take any droids -- they don't serve their kind there. Also, if there are two guys at the bar who look like a pig and a walrus, don't engage them -- they're wanted men. Oh, and if you hear anyone shout "order 66," duck.

Personally, I'd see it as a personal challenge to talk like Yoda. All. Night. Long.

"Reception lovely, you had."

I think that also you and Mrs Vark could cosplay as the dude that loses his goddamn arm in the bar and the other dude.

So we got out of going to this debacle. We sent bothan spies so we could check it out though.
Ir rained during the ceremony and there was NO tent.
More to follow...

Heeeeee! I seen the cake. Spota be the Death Star...looks like one o those flying balls in Phantasm

They're trying really hard

This just in. One of my bothan spies volunteered to be in the wedding party because they had SIX bridesmaids but only THREE groomsmen. Ijits can't count and don't have many friends

Melting! melting!

That stormtrooper figurine looks so depressed to be there...

There's some backstory but I gotta get on a real keyboard first

So bride's mom wanted no involvement in the wedding. She'll go to it but there's no input from her, including money. She might as well have been an ordinary guest, which is how she wants it. Bride's dad is Assholio. Stepmom is only four years older than the bride. That's creepy del bwayno, if you ask me, and says a lot of things about dad as well. I have this Bill and Ted subplot vibe. Needless to say dad is estranged and could care less if bride gets married. I guess there's an uncle that's giving her away, very nice. We were invited to the wedding because my wife knew the stylist that did her hair and makeup. I've never met her. Well, apparently I did, but I don't remember it. I think it was a New Year's party or summer cookout or something. Anyways, we didn't go and I'm sure glad about that.