Jolt Country

Today my family and I went to the county court house to get our passports renewed. When we walked in, there were two armed guards. One was working a metal detector and the other was just passing through. As the second one passed through, my son stepped in front of him and I said, "son, always yield to a guy with a gun." The guy working the metal detector immediately warned me about "joking about guns" in the court house. I said, "I wasn't joking, I was telling my son to move." Next we had to empty our pockets into little plastic bowls. I was about to place the bowls on the conveyor belt when the guard snapped at me and said, "sir, please walk through the detector," so I did. Of course I set it off because I was wearing a belt, so the guard made me pull my shirt up and do a 360 in front of everyone. Then he asked where our bowls of stuff were and I said, "down there." When he asked why I didn't put them on the thing I said, "well I was going to but then you told me to walk through the thing, so I did." So then he made me walk back through the detector, put all the bowls on the conveyor belt and then walk back through, setting it off again. Somehow in the middle of all this he shut the conveyor belt off with my bowl still inside, which sparked a 30 second round of "where's daddy's phone and wallet." The guard mumbled something about "if I had put the stuff on the belt in the first place" and I mumbled something about "if he hadn't been so busy playing alpha male." Eventually I got my stuff and we went on our way.

Yesterday, my wife and I went to breakfast. Our waitress was stoned out of her mind. She looked like she had fixed her hair the day before, slept on it, and then came directly to work. Within two minutes, she had already told us (a) her life story, (b) how her favorite breakfast restaurant in Denver names their breakfasts after strains of weed, and (c) how everyone had walked out the night before so she had to work an 11 hour shift. At least twice, she filled our mugs with coffee, stood around to complain about her life, and then asked us if we wanted coffee refills. In the front of the restaurant, a local news reporter and a camera guy were filming a news segment. We asked the waitress what they were filming and she said, "Who?" When we pointed out the news crew, she seemed surprised. Also during the meal, she commented loudly how the worst part of working Christmas Day was "all the black people who came in and didn't tip." The two black women sitting directly next to us didn't seem to care for that.

Have the holidays made everyone insane or do I just keep drawing short straws this week?

I found the news broadcast. We are fortunately not in any of the shots, although our stoned waitress is.

https://okcfox.com/news/morning-news/be ... 12-26-2019

The guy working the metal detector immediately warned me about "joking about guns" in the court house.

DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

That's the kind of mentality that locks you into a job where the most amount of responsibility they'll give you is working the metal director at the passport office.

It's good that you're meeting these lunatics. Each one can be the basis for a character or minor person in a future book of yours. It takes a lot for me to give up on a person and want nothing to ever do with them because unpredictable people teach you something about how the world works that can make your art richer.

LoL back when I serviced coffee machines the guys working the metal detector would see me and joke “make way for the coffee man!” And just have me wheel my cart behind them and past the detectors. Excellent security.

Also, your waitress is one reason I hate “weed people”. Sure, it’s neat and I dig it man, but for fuck sake shut up about it and don’t smoke too much or at the wrong times to the point you can’t do your job or even be coherent!

Was your waitress the tallish one with the multi-clolured shirt?

It's kinda amazing to me the amount of people that go to work drunk or stoned. Maybe I'm just seeing if more because the regulations have loosened so much and people are going overboard with it. I anticipate a gradual shift towards workplace sobriety in the coming decades. Or possibly a Darwin solution where the chronics get ousted and only the straights keep working. ( I don't even believe that )

THE
SURE IT WILL
AARDVARK

I work in preschool/prek the number of kids backpacks that reek of weed/ parents that reek of weed and either irish spring or some gawd-awful stanky perfume trying to cover it up is just appalling.

I am pro-legalization for a number of reasons, not the least of which is seeking help if you are abusing won't potentially come with criminal consequences.

Jonsey, you live in a state where they legalized.... new thread for this discussion with insights?

loafergirl wrote: Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:34 pm I work in preschool/prek the number of kids backpacks that reek of weed/ parents that reek of weed and either irish spring or some gawd-awful stanky perfume trying to cover it up is just appalling.

I am pro-legalization for a number of reasons, not the least of which is seeking help if you are abusing won't potentially come with criminal consequences.

Jonsey, you live in a state where they legalized.... new thread for this discussion with insights?

Interesting! By the time I got to be about 14 and was smoking cigarettes at school, I started to get paranoid about the smell of smoke on me until one day I realized.. I always smelled like cigarette smoke due to my parents being smokers and as long as I washed my hands I was evidence-free smell-wise.