Anyone ever go to Taco Bell and order a Hard Taco Supreme and by the time you get home the shell has soaked through? I know I have, and at least Tdarcos and Pinback have. Heres how to fix that: just ask for the cheese to be put on the bottom, under the meat. The meat melts the cheese which then hardens and protects the shell. You can eat this thing anytime you want and your shell stays crispy. You're welcome.
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 2:25 am
by Tdarcos
"Welcome to Microsoft® Taco Bell®, can I take your order?"
"What do you mean, 'Microsoft Taco Bell'?"
"All Taco Bell®s are part of Microsoft® after Apple® took over McDonalds® during the Franchise Wars of 2093."
"Oh, anyway, I'd like a Hard Taco Supreme, but I want the cheese on the bottom."
"Do you mean the Crunchy Taco Supreme™?"
"Yes."
"Why do you need a custom version?"
"There's a bug in construction. The meat, if it touches the shell, weakens it and makes it soggy."
"That's not a bug sir, that's a feature, it allows customers to have both a soft and chewy taco and a hard and crunchy taco at the same time. But if you want a conversion done, there will be a $6 upgrade charge."
"But the taco is only $1.89!"
"Extra work costs extra."
"Well, I'll take five of them, then."
"Okay, with tax that will be $69.34."
"How the hell do you get that?"
"$6 conversion charge per taco."
"Never mind, I'll go someplace else." He leaves.
He walks in the new restaurant, and steps up to the counter. "Welcome to AT&T® Subway®, how may I take your order?"
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 4:31 am
by pinback
That wasn't a good story, Paul.
I'm a 7LB man from long-ago, though, so I don't know from "hard taco" problems.
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 10:37 am
by Casual Observer
Tdarcos wrote: Thu Apr 02, 2020 2:25 am
"Welcome to Microsoft® Taco Bell®, can I take your order?"
"What do you mean, 'Microsoft Taco Bell'?"
"All Taco Bell®s are part of Microsoft® after Apple® took over McDonalds® during the Franchise Wars of 2093."
"Oh, anyway, I'd like a Hard Taco Supreme, but I want the cheese on the bottom."
"Do you mean the Crunchy Taco Supreme™?"
"Yes."
"Why do you need a custom version?"
"There's a bug in construction. The meat, if it touches the shell, weakens it and makes it soggy."
"That's not a bug sir, that's a feature, it allows customers to have both a soft and chewy taco and a hard and crunchy taco at the same time. But if you want a conversion done, there will be a $6 upgrade charge."
"But the taco is only $1.89!"
"Extra work costs extra."
"Well, I'll take five of them, then."
"Okay, with tax that will be $69.34."
"How the hell do you get that?"
"$6 conversion charge per taco."
"Never mind, I'll go someplace else." He leaves.
He walks in the new restaurant, and steps up to the counter. "Welcome to AT&T® Subway®, how may I take your order?"
Paul, you know that back when you could drive, you hit this particular brand of drive-thru. No, they don't charge extra to make it how you want, in fact the Indian guy who ownes the local taco bell thought it was a novel approach. He instantly understood the reason why for the request so your entire made up conversation has never ever happened. It's well known that Taco Bell tacos can be ordered as either "hard" or "soft". In fact, you can get fast food places to make things "your way" for free anytime you want. And I have no idea what you think Taco Bell has to do with Microsoft or Subway with AT&T (It's like you're trying to basterdize the "Fight Club" joke about Microsoft Galaxy or whatever), the only reference I can think about regarding Taco Bell in the future is the movie Demolition Man (which is great) where in the future "all restaurants are Taco Bell" so you even fucked up that reference. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to eat my last night's leftover "hard" taco supreme for lunch.
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2020 5:34 am
by Flack
Paul, stop work on all your other novels. The story the world needs is the one about the franchise wars of 2093.
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:51 pm
by Tdarcos
Yes, I borrowed the "franchise wars" item from Demolition Man.
The "Microsft Taco Bell" is to satirize what happens when large companies take over, everything costs extra. Call Comcast or Verizon, ask exactly how much the basic package costs in your area, whether it's TV, Phone, or Internet, and they can't tell you. Even though it is easy enough to calculate the local franchise fee, sports fee, sales tax and package price. But they don't want you to know until the bill comes.
The price is never what you expect, because there's always another fee added. And getting a software product with more features means an upgrade to "Premium," "Extra", "Enhanced," "Professional" or "Ultimate," at a much higher price.
The "that's not a bug, it's a feature" comes from when Microsoft Word would crash if you loaded a malformed document. Rather than admit that was a bug, MS tried to claim it was not a bug, but a feature, that the program intentionally quits when reading a badly formed document.
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2020 1:22 am
by Casual Observer
Tdarcos wrote: Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:51 pm
Yes, I borrowed the "franchise wars" item from Demolition Man.
The "Microsft Taco Bell" is to satirize what happens when large companies take over, everything costs extra. Call Comcast or Verizon, ask exactly how much the basic package costs in your area, whether it's TV, Phone, or Internet, and they can't tell you. Even though it is easy enough to calculate the local franchise fee, sports fee, sales tax and package price. But they don't want you to know until the bill comes.
The price is never what you expect, because there's always another fee added. And getting a software product with more features means an upgrade to "Premium," "Extra", "Enhanced," "Professional" or "Ultimate," at a much higher price.
The "that's not a bug, it's a feature" comes from when Microsoft Word would crash if you loaded a malformed document. Rather than admit that was a bug, MS tried to claim it was not a bug, but a feature, that the program intentionally quits when reading a badly formed document.
What? Nothing about the taco hack tDarcos? IT literally fixes a problem with Taco Bell tacos that has existed since the beginning of time.
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2020 8:25 am
by Flack
Tdarcos wrote: Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:51 pm
Yes, I borrowed the "franchise wars" item from Demolition Man.
The "Microsft Taco Bell" is to satirize what happens when large companies take over, everything costs extra. Call Comcast or Verizon, ask exactly how much the basic package costs in your area, whether it's TV, Phone, or Internet, and they can't tell you. Even though it is easy enough to calculate the local franchise fee, sports fee, sales tax and package price. But they don't want you to know until the bill comes.
The price is never what you expect, because there's always another fee added. And getting a software product with more features means an upgrade to "Premium," "Extra", "Enhanced," "Professional" or "Ultimate," at a much higher price.
The "that's not a bug, it's a feature" comes from when Microsoft Word would crash if you loaded a malformed document. Rather than admit that was a bug, MS tried to claim it was not a bug, but a feature, that the program intentionally quits when reading a badly formed document.
I like how Paul's explanations are written as if the rest of us landed on earth yesterday.
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2020 9:16 am
by pinback
A brain in a box.
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2020 9:50 am
by Flack
Change "box" to "leaky ziplock bag of mashed potatoes."
Tdarcos wrote: Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:51 pm
Yes, I borrowed the "franchise wars" item from Demolition Man.
I like how Paul's explanations are written as if the rest of us landed on earth yesterday.
Apparently you have. 1. You seemed to be incapable of undestanding what I wrote; and 2. Every single one of you who responded quoted my entire fucking post instead of cutting it back to the part you're responding to.
This gets goddam annoying that none of you has apparently heard of cuttting back on quoted material. Maybe I should post 50+ page comments so that nobody would ever read your comment because they'd never see it.
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2020 1:03 am
by Ice Cream Jonsey
Does this work at Jack In the Box?
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2020 1:05 am
by Ice Cream Jonsey
Tdarcos wrote: Sat Apr 04, 2020 11:28 pm
Apparently you have. 1. You seemed to be incapable of undestanding
"understanding."
This gets goddam
"goddamn"
annoying that none of you has apparently heard of cuttting
"cutting"
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2020 1:06 am
by Ice Cream Jonsey
Tdarcos wrote: Thu Apr 02, 2020 2:25 am
"Welcome to Microsoft® Taco Bell®, can I take your order?"
"What do you mean, 'Microsoft Taco Bell'?"
"All Taco Bell®s are part of Microsoft® after Apple® took over McDonalds® during the Franchise Wars of 2093."
"Oh, anyway, I'd like a Hard Taco Supreme, but I want the cheese on the bottom."
"Do you mean the Crunchy Taco Supreme™?"
"Yes."
"Why do you need a custom version?"
"There's a bug in construction. The meat, if it touches the shell, weakens it and makes it soggy."
"That's not a bug sir, that's a feature, it allows customers to have both a soft and chewy taco and a hard and crunchy taco at the same time. But if you want a conversion done, there will be a $6 upgrade charge."
"But the taco is only $1.89!"
"Extra work costs extra."
"Well, I'll take five of them, then."
"Okay, with tax that will be $69.34."
"How the hell do you get that?"
"$6 conversion charge per taco."
"Never mind, I'll go someplace else." He leaves.
He walks in the new restaurant, and steps up to the counter. "Welcome to AT&T® Subway®, how may I take your order?"
In all seriousness, I appreciated your post here and I'm glad you're in good spirits and able to give us content like this.
Tdarcos wrote: Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:51 pm
Yes, I borrowed the "franchise wars" item from Demolition Man.
I like how Paul's explanations are written as if the rest of us landed on earth yesterday.
Apparently you have. 1. You seemed to be incapable of undestanding what I wrote; and 2. Every single one of you who responded quoted my entire fucking post instead of cutting it back to the part you're responding to.
This gets goddam annoying that none of you has apparently heard of cuttting back on quoted material. Maybe I should post 50+ page comments so that nobody would ever read your comment because they'd never see it.
Ooh, I like the way this is going. Let's start lists of the things each of us are incapable of!
Tdarcos wrote: Thu Apr 02, 2020 2:25 am
"Welcome to Microsoft® Taco Bell®, can I take your order?"
"What do you mean, 'Microsoft Taco Bell'?"
"All Taco Bell®s are part of Microsoft® after Apple® took over McDonalds® during the Franchise Wars of 2093."
"Oh, anyway, I'd like a Hard Taco Supreme, but I want the cheese on the bottom."
"Do you mean the Crunchy Taco Supreme™?"
"Yes."
"Why do you need a custom version?"
"There's a bug in construction. The meat, if it touches the shell, weakens it and makes it soggy."
"That's not a bug sir, that's a feature, it allows customers to have both a soft and chewy taco and a hard and crunchy taco at the same time. But if you want a conversion done, there will be a $6 upgrade charge."
"But the taco is only $1.89!"
"Extra work costs extra."
"Well, I'll take five of them, then."
"Okay, with tax that will be $69.34."
"How the hell do you get that?"
"$6 conversion charge per taco."
"Never mind, I'll go someplace else." He leaves.
He walks in the new restaurant, and steps up to the counter. "Welcome to AT&T® Subway®, how may I take your order?"
In all seriousness, I appreciated your post here and I'm glad you're in good spirits and able to give us content like this.
Agreed.
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2020 10:57 am
by AArdvark
I laughed at first then I googled
Re: Taco Bell Hack
Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2020 10:43 am
by Casual Observer
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Sun Apr 05, 2020 1:03 am
Does this work at Jack In the Box?
um, maybe? I don't like food poisoning so I don't go there but from their website it looks like the cheese they use is . . . a fucking slice of american cheese, eww. I don't know that one slice of american cheese would suffice to protect the shell. Also I don't know if the high losers working there could fathom the instructions of "put it at the bottom of the shell" as the corporate pictures show the slice stuck on one side of the shell. My guess is this will not work at Jack.
Tdarcos wrote: Sat Apr 04, 2020 11:28 pm
This gets goddam
"goddamn"
Nope, I'm sticking with this version. Arthur Hailey, in his novels, used it that way. If a goddam multi-million-copy selling author in a commercially published book by reputable publishing houses in the United States can use this spelling, then I'll accept it as right, goddammit.
annoying that none of you has apparently heard of cuttting
"cutting"
[/quote]
Startt cutttting backk on yourr quotting tto morre rrreasnnable llevllss, annd I'lll take yourr addvicce abbout spelllllinggg.
In casae you forgot, I have vision problems and sometimes I miss things. What I really hate is I can read something two or three times and still miss things.