Jolt Country

It has come to my attention that certain people on this BBS have no idea what a NY-style pizza is, because they continue to insist that their favorite purveyor of absolute unadulterated garbage is "NY-style pizza". Not to name big fat names.

Here in Liberty Township, OH, we have a NY-style pizza joint. It is not the best I've ever had, but it's top five, and there is absolutely no disagreeing with the fact that they offer a true NY-style pie. The pandemic closed them up for a while, but they reopened this week, and we are getting one tonight, so I am very excited.

Here is a pizza from Fratelli's Pizzeria, 6890 Tylersville Rd, West Chester Township, OH 45069. You will notice, it is a NY-style pizza:



For contrast, let me pick some random picture off the internet of something that is absolutely not a NY-style pizza. Okay, found one, from some place called "Jerry's Subs & Pizza", a local Maryland chain that apparently caters to the disabled:



You'll notice the subtle differences: The first pic is of a NY-style pizza, whereas the second pic is of a stanky wet fart someone dropped on a table.

Hopefully this post will serve to clarify matters. Thank you.

Look at that pepperoni lock! In that not-a-NY-pie!

If you hold the New York style pizza slice up by the crust it should droop at ninety degrees. Not 45, not 60 degrees but a full downward 90.

THE
VERY ACUTE ANGLE
AARDVARK

The last time I was in Denver, ICJ took me out to lunch and bought this pizza. I don't remember if he claimed it was NY style or not but it was delicious.

Why is the Jerry's pizza not cut and served on a piece of paper? And what are the holes in the crust for? I thought holes in the crust was something only frozen pizza companies did?

I'll be honest with you. I fairly tried to compare, because you and (almost) everyone else were slamming down on Jerry's, whose pizzas you had never seen in person nor eaten.

I looked at the two pizzas. The only difference I could see was the Jerry's appears to have more pepperoni. Honestly, other than that, they both look the same.

As for the comments that denegrate a pizza you have never eaten as garbage, I treat them as I do my bowel movements. Something I have put behind me, and that will be disposed of in the garbage shortly.

Oh, and don't propose to say "that's what they should do to Jerry's pizza," as I've already thought of it.

But none of you, not a man jack, has offered anything but sneers and malice. None of you, not one, gave an actual reason why Jerry's pizza is not New York-style pizza, despite it calling itself one.

Facts people, not conjecture and hyperbole. "A true New York-style pizza has plah, whee, shoom, zazz and shring. Jerry's does not put whee and shring into theirs. They're also adding hoom, and no self-respecting NY pizza ever adds hoom." (using, of course, real examples.)

Until you can tell me factually what is a real one and what Jerry's specifically does not include - or includes but should not - I'm going to take your comments the same way I take the unlicensed, Cretinous Reprobate "practitioners" on Caltrops who claim that I have every mental condition starting with the letter "A" including Alzheimers, Autism aND Aspbergers (well, maybe not Alzheimers). I shall also treat them in the manner described abovw in paragraph 3 of this missive, that is done to my bowel movements.

Billy Mays wrote: Fri May 08, 2020 9:18 pm And what are the holes in the crust for? I thought holes in the crust was something only frozen pizza companies did?

This is a "dough docker." To prevent pizzas from getting bubbles while cooking, you run a dough docker over the crust before putting any toppings (even the sauce) on it. The dough docker serves two purposes: it flattens the the dough down, and it creates tiny holes that let hot air escape evenly while cooking. This is an important step especially if your pizza pan is flat on bottom, otherwise you will get big bubbles that look ugly. Some pizza places use pans with bubbles built in to the pan itself to dissipate the heat and try and prevent bubbling, but going over the dough first with a dough docker is the best way to go. In my day we were always careful not to punch holes all the way to the edge of the crust so that customers wouldn't see them, but maybe that's a style choice to do it now.

Source: Me, a guy who worked at Pizza Hut, Pizza Inn, Mazzio's Pizza, and Heavenly Pizza.

Tdarcos wrote: Sat May 09, 2020 4:40 amHonestly, other than that, they both look the same.

It is telling that the two people who commented they thought the pizzas looked the same were from the, ahh, "huskier" userbase. A pizza has probably not been outside of your body long enough for you to notice the details.

A dough docker! We had an expert here the whole time!

Look - Commander. Tdarcos. Paul. What I want you to understand is something you failed to understand earlier. Jerry's is garbage pizza, but nobody is calling it inedible. It's not like Jack in the Box, which we've tried to love and literally can't due to the projectile vomiting that happens later.

That Jerry's pie looks fine for a Saturday night after having hit the bars. We're just saying there's better pizza out there. Can't both things be true, Tdarcos? We're not trying to give you a hard time about any of this. We're trying to help you.

This just in -- patient zero of the coronavirus epidemic was a Jerry's pizza.

Flack wrote: Sat May 09, 2020 11:25 am This just in -- patient zero of the coronavirus epidemic was a Jerry's pizza.

That thing wouldn't even sell at a Chinese wet market.

People in Hell wouldn't buy it if it was served with a glass of ice water and free refills.

What's going on in Maryland?

Billy Mays wrote: Sat May 09, 2020 2:26 pm

Flack wrote: Sat May 09, 2020 11:25 am This just in -- patient zero of the coronavirus epidemic was a Jerry's pizza.

That thing wouldn't even sell at a Chinese wet market.

People in Hell wouldn't buy it if it was served with a glass of ice water and free refills.

What's going on in Maryland?

Tdarcos wrote down everything going on with the virus out there and guess what! He put it in a .bat file! hrwehrwehrwerwerhwerhwerhwerhwe!!!

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Sat May 09, 2020 2:37 pmTdarcos wrote down everything going on with the virus out there and guess what! He put it in a .bat file! hrwehrwehrwerwerhwerhwerhwerhwe!!!

He didn't catch irony of that so he named it bat.bat!

I heard they're hiring...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

For comparison:

I am only 20 seconds into it, but he needs a serious bitchslap to the bitchface for cutting a pizza like that. WHO DOES THAT

This is now the "post Youtube videos of guys making pizza" thread.

You'd think he wouldn't burn the crust on his instructional pizza making video.