Jolt Country

We all knew it was going to come down to this eventually. The specter of the final Pinback vs. Aardvark battle has hung heavy over this place for a decade.

It is time.

Make your choice.

Can you remember a time when Jolt Country was not so wracked with division? A time when people weren't divided into myriad factions united only by a shared hatred of the opposing clans? A time when we didn't classify ourselves as being part of Team Pinback or Team AArdvark or Team Finsternis or Team TDarcos, but rather considered ourselves all to be members of Team Jolt Country, all for one and one for all? I also cannot remember such a time, but perhaps we should give it a try now. Endless war will do naught but sap our strength and dim our resolve.

We are better together, each of us bringing something unique of our own to the table. Must we trade Pinback's beer reviews for AArdvark's doodles or vice versa? Nay, I say! We must not sacrifice even one tittle of content. We must dare to say, "We want it all. We demand it all. We give nothing up." Jolt Country is strong when all are strong and all are posting excessively.

Abraham Lincoln wrote: A house divided against itself cannot stand.

Irish Jaunting Car wrote:
Some say all wars are over, and I hope to God they are,
For you know full well they never were good for a jaunting car,
But peace and plenty—may they reign here both near and far,
Then we'll drive to feasts and festivals in an Irish jaunting car.

General Anthony McAuliffe wrote: Nuts!

pinback wrote: Thu Jul 02, 2020 6:31 pm The specter of the final Pinback vs. Aardvark battle has hung heavy over this place for a decade.

To quote Barry Corbin in Wargames, "Can someone tell me, in the name of Good Christ, what the hell is a-goin' on around here?"

Your poll, sir, is a sham! A SHAM!!!!!!!!

Only AArdvark supporters would vote either:

I'm... I'm not really comfortable with this.

I... I don't really care about this.

Which peels votes away from our candidate, while all Pinback supporters are true hardliners who are not interested in a peaceful resolution and only vote their candidate.

(e-meet is not a thing that ever existed so including that was funny)

This doesn't resolve anything!

He's back! This is awesome. Also, I'd like to announce I'm now backing AArdvark in this eternal war 100%.

That's a cool glass man. Maybe even cooler than my include beer glasses. Probably cooler in your hand.

So maybe everyone has noticed that I've not been on here in a while. Let me see if I can explain things a little. I first noticed that some petty issues were bothering me more than they should be. Like getting my brand new AARP card. this sounds like a mid-life crisis, I know, but I can't afford a new Corvette or have an affair with a super model. So anyway, I was kinda put out (more than I should have been) when called out on not knowing the brand of beer can some actor crushed on-screen in 1974. Sounds stupid now, but it bothered me. Then I see that Pinback is drinking again, or maybe he never stopped, I dunno. But that bothered me more than I care to admit. Disappointed me, actually. I was really admiring the way he got his shit together in 2020 with the huge weight loss (losing weight in the U.S. is harder than quitting smoking in Eagle Rock) and being clean in 2020. So when I called him out on it, something that is pretty much un-like me, I was doubly put out for ruining a Best Of thread, when in fact it was located in another base altogether. I see I had hit a nerve when he instantly called me out on -my- drinking*. That's when the rage hit me. RAGE, I tell you. So I deleted his message, something that I swore I'd never do. And then I deleted all my Crazy Doodles and other photos. I was becoming a person that I didn't (and don't) want to be. Jolt Country wasn't fun anymore. This is a fun place to unwind from the stresses of real life (at least for me it is) and it was only making me MORE stressed. Clearly I had to back off for a bit and focus on real life for a while. Once I could deal with real life in a more mature manner I could slowly come back here and interact like a human adult again.

Well, it's happening, slowly. I will put back all my Crazy Doodles again, a little at a time. Pinback and I can be enemies, if that's what he wants, conflict always makes for good radio and bulletin boards. I won't really, really mean it though. If we somehow ended up in the same place and time I suspect we'd get along quite well and drink all the cheap beer in sight.

THE
WARREN G. HARDING
SLOGAN
AARDVARK



*Speaking of my drinking, I have to be upfront and explain that Saturday nights are the only time that I do drink anymore and it's usually never more than two, the old body can't handle teh booze like it used to, so any exciting pictures I post of martinis and tasty rum drinks are similar to photos of Bigfoot and the Lock Ness monster, more hype than fact.

I (and every member of this forum) have taken more than one break from this place -- no shame in that, friend. The other evening while complaining about some posts to my wife, she said, "why would you get all worked up about people you've never in real life?" That helped me put things in perspective, at least for a day or two.

Between the Covid-19 pandemic, the Black Lives Matter protests, the upcoming election, and the current state of the country, there's more than enough to cause even the most stand up guy to snap -- and make no mistake, I consider you to be one hell of a stand up guy. If shit ever went down in a redneck bar two minutes 'til midnight, I would want you there by my side. Not because I think we would win in a bar fight, but mostly because of the hilarious cartoons you would draw for weeks to come once our eye sockets were no longer swollen shut.

You are an OG member of JC, and the place wouldn't be the same without you and your contributions. I *think* everything that's happened here was all done in character. I hope you and PInback can bury the hatchet, because frankly the rest of us are going broke mailing Tdarcos Starburst and someone will eventually need to pick up the slack.

[placeholder for unrelated song quote from Paul goes here]

It's really good to have you back, Vark! I think we've all been where you were at some time or another. Filled with burning, seething rage over something seemingly inconsequential...yeah, I can relate to that. Coronavirus is driving us all crazy. You're probably still dealing with grief over Toonces, too. It's all completely understandable, and you don't need to apologize to anyone. Welcome home! We're all still here and Jolt Country is the same place you remember. Stick around, kick your feet up, be yourself, and have fun.

I'm glad I didn't notice you'd deleted your crazy doodles because I would have felt absolutely sick if I'd known. That's one of the greatest, if not the very greatest, thread in this board's history. Please don't do anything like that again unless you've decided you absolutely hate everyone who has ever visited this message board, including the people absolutely no one hates like Chain Gang Guy, Roody, and the old ACK crew. Seriously, before you do that again please make sure you're able to utter the most hideous phrase that exists in the English language, "I care absolutely nothing for Loafergirl and am not inclined to hear another word about any of her future RPG adventures." If you could honestly say something as inhuman as that, even I would have to accept that at that point you'd be too far gone to be rehabilitated.

Maybe one thing you could do if you feel the rage building up again and don't want to let it out is just take a break from talking to the person who is trying to push your buttons. It is the lot of humanity that we can never trust our friends to always be good, kind, and understanding even when we need them the most. I believe it was Tom Petty who once said, "Some friends are diamonds, some friends are dicks." What that line had to do with someone having an ass so big it could crush a town I never quite understood. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is if friend P is being a dick this week, you could talk to friend I or friend F instead! Those guys tend to be pretty well-behaved and have a good record of not driving people away from this board. When you're ready to talk to friend P again, he's probably still going to be here.

AArdvark wrote: Mon Jul 20, 2020 5:29 pmLet me see if I can explain things a little.

Shit, if I had known about all that then maybe I wouldn't have been so quick to jump on team AArdvark? Either way it's great to have you back!

In my defense, sipping a couple Miller Lites in the garage after work hardly counts as "drinking again", at least where I'm from.

pinback wrote: Tue Jul 21, 2020 1:09 pm In my defense, sipping a couple Miller Lites in the garage after work hardly counts as "drinking again", at least where I'm from.

If you're going to drink so little, why drink crap? Remember what tDarcos always says, it's like having sex in a canoe.

Calories.

Ok, but you have to downgrade from an A+ to a B.

THE
C's GET
DEGREES
AARDVARK

That's tough but fair.

If I'm drinking Adjunct I'm drinking Mich Light. It's the other choice vs Labatt's (soda for adults) or Labatt's light (ugh) when I visit WNY. It's SLIMMING at only 64 calories! None of these can get you drunk unless you can piss gallons, so who actually cares.

Angry Orchard Hard Cider FTW tonight in this household.

RetroRomper wrote: Wed Jul 22, 2020 1:51 am Angry Orchard Hard Cider FTW tonight in this household.

No Retro, this isn't the drunk thread. I mean it maybe should be but no it's not.