Bruce to World: Fucking Stop It, Already

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 6:54 pm

As some of you are aware, the last couple months have not been very kind to me.

A(nother) friend of mine died of cancer (making four in the last year). My wife's bipolar disorder got worse. Last Tuesday, I set my kitchen on fire.

And then, last night, my godmother died.

So I'd just like to say to The World At Large, or The Creator, or Whatever:

OK, OK, Enough Already. You Can Fucking Lay Off Now. Thank You.

Thank You,
Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 11:39 pm

Goddamn.

You have my condolences, m'man.

GOD · Post by **GOD** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:00 pm

FUCK THOU, SON.

Jesus · Post by **Jesus** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:28 pm

GOD wrote:FUCK THOU, SON.

Well that's the last time I die on the cross for an unfeeling prick like you!

God · Post by **God** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 3:34 pm

I AM NOT PAID TO BE NICE TO THEE, THOU SEMIILITERATE FUCKTURD WHO MAY ONLY PERFORM MIRACLES BECAUSE THEY ARE ALLOWED SO BY ME. I SPIT UPON THEE, FOR THOU ART QUITE THE LITTLE BITCH, THOU BITCH. SO DEAL. THOU TOOL.

Blasphemous Grammarian · Mon Jul 14, 2003 3:43 pm

GOD wrote:FUCK THOU, SON.

That should, of course, be "FUCK THEE," as "THOU" is nominative and "THEE" is accusative.

Who's the semiliterate fucktard NOW, God?

Blasphemous Grammarian

GOD · Post by **GOD** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 5:19 pm

I CAST 4D6 LIGHTNING ON THEE, FOR THAT WHICH IS GOD WOULD POINT OUT THAT HE IS, INDEED, GOD, AND THUS MAY USE WHATEVER GRAMATICAL CONTUSIONS HE FEELS LIKE, HAVING MADE THEM ALL HIMSELF. TOOLS, THE LOTT OF YOU, TOOLS.

Jesus · Post by **Jesus** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 7:19 pm

Well, actually I died for mankind anyway so NYAHHH NYAHHH.

Oh yeah, the Holy Ghost's with me on this so it's two to one.

Satan · Post by **Satan** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 7:33 pm

Guuuuuuuys! Could you pleeeaaaase stop fighting?

GOD · Post by **GOD** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 7:45 pm

GET BACK TO HARVESTING THE SOULS OF THE DAMNED, INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE WORMLING!

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 8:11 pm

Doubting Thomas · Post by **Doubting Thomas** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 8:14 pm

So like if your reely God then maybe you can like explain howcum like Quakers if their like pacifists brag about shooting puffed rice?

Satan · Post by **Satan** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 8:22 pm

GOD wrote:GET BACK TO HARVESTING THE SOULS OF THE DAMNED, INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE WORMLING!

Jeeeeeesus, God. Why do you always have to be sooooo mean to me? Some days, I think I'm the only one who cares about this relationship!

GOD · Post by **GOD** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 8:52 pm

HEY NOW! THOU SHALT NOT TALK TO MY SON LIKE THAT! THIRTY LASHINGS!

Satan · Post by **Satan** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 9:15 pm

GOD wrote:THIRTY LASHINGS!

Oh, yes! Forget about this fight: You always did know just what to say to turn me on!

bot · Post by **bot** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 12:13 am

Oh, by the way Satan.

I just wanted to say that I feel pretty severely ripped off. My penis size has not increased as was promised, nor have the genital warts dissappeared. Moreover, unless my tape measure is off, I still appear to clock in at an extremely blase 5'10". You tell me - how am I supposed to pick up horny Japanese girls when the nightclubs are already swarming with American soldiers who are, in addition, largely black? My lawyer will be in touch with you regarding breach of contract. Have a nice day.

GOD · Post by **GOD** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 8:46 am

THOU KNOWS WHAT? I CHANGED MY MIND. THOU SHALT NOT BE LASHED, FOR I--AS GOD--HATH DECIDED TO INSTEAD LEAVE YOU AT THE MERCY OF THE BOT'S LAWYERS! MWAH HAHA! HAH!

Bad Standup Comedian · Tue Jul 15, 2003 2:54 pm

But all the best lawyers already work for Satan! HURR!!!!

GOD · Post by **GOD** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 5:08 pm

George W Bush · Post by **George W Bush** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 8:16 pm

Bring it on ! ! ! <paid for by friends of freedom

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