Walmart bums

[Jizaboz]

My small city rarely has people standing around asking random people for money, but it happens on occasion. For some reason, this often occurs at Walmart and usually around the holidays.

Today it happened again! My friend Travis found this was laughing so hard when I told him this his wife demanded to know WTF it was. I think because it was so easy for him to picture since he knows me well. Also, he is a very kind dude that just about a year ago filled up the gas tank for a random guy at a gas station who gave a sob story about how he was stranded.

Anyway, I went to Walmart to buy tinfoil, some baking supplies, etc. Going back out to my old ass truck to load it up. My drivers side door lock is fucked so I have to unlock the passenger door and lean over and unlock the driver door. As I'm doing this relatively healthy-looking woman about my age approaches..

I woke up this morning with a god awful pain in my neck and shoulder from sleeping wrong or some shit. Was in mad pain but figured maybe a walk around Walmart would help. Because of this, I am not in the best of moods.

Parking lot lady: "Excuse me sir..."

Me: "WUT" (I haven't even turned around to look at her face to face yet)

Parking lot lady: "Could you sj ju shh si" (I can't hear this bitch)

Me: "YOU SAID WUT? SPEAK UP."

Parking lot lady: "Do you have some spare change? I'm just trying to get something to eat.."

My blood begins to fucking boil. To paint the picture a bit.. this lady just saw a man about her age who hasn't shaven in a week, wearing cheap ass jeans and a black Darkthrone shirt with a pentagram on it, struggling to get into his vehicle, holding 2 pathetic bags containing nothing but items brandishing "BETTER VALU".

I toss the bags into the truck, spin around and look at her as I open my arms.

Me: "Hahahah!!! (the nervous laughter erupts! losing my shit!) LOOK AT ME!"

She just stands there.

Me: "GET A CLUE! I AINT GOT SHIT.."

She doesn't react in any way. Just turned around and started walking off. I look at her back as she walks off and think to myself "You haven't even seen the ribs of your back yet..", FUMING and curse under my breath. PISSED!

Then about 2 stoplights on the way back I realized how funny the whole interaction was and almost wish I could somehow replay it lol

P.S. The Salvation Army bell-ringing dude was 50 years away. If I had spare change, he would have got it. If she needed help, she should have talked to him.

P.S.S. I literally had no money and bought all my shit from Walmart today with giftcards purchased with bitcoin.

[Da King]

Nothing good ever happens at Walmart.

[Jizaboz]

Nothing good ever happens at Walmart.

You know.. you're right. I can't think of one random thing that happened at Walmart where I was like "wow, glad I went to Walmart today otherwise I would have missed that."

I do recall a couple of years ago when I had to get a new phone and there was this poor chick working there with a strong NY accent talking about how much she liked "JOWZ" (I was wearing a Jaws shirt). Witnessed her talk about being overworked, her boyfriend showed up (totally wasn't what I was expecting. This dude looked like a L.A. Dev hipster) to take her out for lunch but she was helping customers. Later her younger black co-worker chick talked to her about bills and this NY chick whips out 40$ and says "JUST TAKEIT". The co-worker started crying. DAMN.

At that point I told NY chick I'll handle the rest of the new phone shit.

"Eh but sir I'm supposed to make sure you can register.."

"Nah you go ahead and go to a nice lunch with your boyfriend. To hell with this for a while."

NY chick was way more deserving of all the change in my vehicle and every couch than the bottom-feeder that approached me today.

[Casual Observer]

We got Walmart bums, Safeway bums, Home Depot meth bums, 7-11 bums, Wendy's bums, sleeping on the lawn in front of CVS bums who got hit by a drunk driver bums, bums that steal my propane tank, bums that sleep/party/prostitute in the woods behind Home Depot bums, McDonalds bums, Taco Bell bums, ARCO bums. . . all within a square mile. We got bums.

[Flack]

My small city rarely has people standing around asking random people for money, but it happens on occasion. For some reason, this often occurs at Walmart and usually around the holidays.

The sad and unfortunate truth is that these people are so used to rejection that yelling at them really does nothing. These people are long past feeling shame for what they are doing. You can simply say no or you can be sarcastic or you can yell at them and in the end it all has the same affect... they will just move to the next person. It's like a telemarketer that makes hundreds of calls a day. Some people say no thanks and some people yell and some people mess with them but at the end of the day they don't take it personal, they just move on to the next phone number. All they want is the one person who says yes.

When I used to go downtown for lunch I saw scams being run every day. I really grew to detest the dishonest ones, like the guys who carry around empty gas cans saying they just need a few bucks for gas (they don't) or the women who pretend they are deaf and hand out cards (they aren't).

I've had acquaintances and friends of friends hit me up for cash and usually because of whatever peripheral or tenuous relationship I had with the person I would help them out. The minute you do that you might as well write the word "sucker" across your forehead as they will just keep calling and hitting you up until you say no, which somehow makes you the bad guy.

One thing that is challenging my personal viewpoint is that through vanlife videos and online message boards I have met and become casual friends with multiple people who are homeless (or, since they live in their vehicles, let's say "houseless"). I don't think any of these people panhandle but I have always grouped all homeless people together as either mentally ill or scumdogs and I'm having to rethink that.

When people used to approach me at gas stations I used to beat them to the punch and hit them up for money and tell them I was stranded. They would either get angry or just walk off. It's easier to just say "sorry" and shrug. I've also learned not to tell them I only have a credit card. Most of them now have paypal, venmo, and cashapp ready to go.

[ChainGangGuy]

Some people say no thanks and some people yell and some people mess with them

And some say SPEAK UP. That was my favorite part of the story.

[Tdarcos]

We got Walmart bums, Safeway bums, Home Depot meth bums, 7-11 bums, Wendy's bums...

You think you have a bum problem, that's nothing compared to my bum problem, because it's always on my ass!

[Jizaboz]

We got Walmart bums, Safeway bums, Home Depot meth bums, 7-11 bums, Wendy's bums...

You think you have a bum problem, that's nothing compared to my bum problem, because it's always on my ass!

NSFW bro

While I laughed at what CGG said, Flack totally also has a point. At some point I suppose you'd just quit playing that part like a video game because it repeats itself too often.

[Casual Observer]

We got Walmart bums, Safeway bums, Home Depot meth bums, 7-11 bums, Wendy's bums...

You think you have a bum problem, that's nothing compared to my bum problem, because it's always on my ass!

Funny as HELL Commander, bravo!

[Tdarcos]

We got Walmart bums

At everyday low prices!

McDonalds bums

You deserve some bums today!

[Kentucky Fried Chicken/]Taco Bell bums. . . We got bums.

The Colonel's got bums!

[Casual Observer]

[Kentucky Fried Chicken/]Taco Bell bums. . . We got bums.

The Colonel's got bums!

You're right, the KFC is right next door and there's bums there too, my oversight.

[Jizaboz]

Today I had to return to Walmart. I started to wonder why as I had already bought most items from Aldi and there wasn't a damn thing to buy for my GF for Xmas. As I am cruising around with my cart this young black dude looks up from his phone at me and said:

"Ah yoo.. my bad I just asked this girl out." Maybe I had a frustrated look on my face or something. I had plenty of room to get by. Maybe he just wanted to tell me? Maybe he ain't even talking to me? But he's looking right fucking at me.

I laughed and said "Well.. good luck!" and as I'm walking off hear him say "HAHA you hear what he say? Damn.."

I'll take random interactions like that at Walmart any day.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

The dumbfucks speaking on hidden mics in their ear and then thinking that THEY are the ones that observed an awkward social moment are really something. And by something I mean, "absolute wastes of space that society wouldn't miss." Maybe they can let Mangione out for a weekend to start shooting that garbage, too.

It's never happened to me, but I have read stories like you have mentioned before, Mikey, and I don't think there is any force in the universe that can make me reply to a stranger in a setting like that these days.

[Jizaboz]

Maybe they can let Mangione out for a weekend to start shooting that garbage, too.

lol