Wallhacking (was: Amissville)

[Trent Wyler Robertson]

Hi !

I was wondering if anyone wanted to talk about Amissville?
I have finished the first part and have my theories on who the pumaman is.

T.W.R.

[Lex]

You know sometimes even seeing a word can effect you? My stomach kinda pulled in on itself when I saw this.

[Trent Wyler Robertson]

I don't understand. Anyway, here is my theory on who is the Pumaman. I think the antagonist in Amissville is Pumaman, but he doesn't know it. In Pat Judy's house, one of the Judy's calls you 'Pumaman'. I think the antagonist in the story, fell off the cliff and lost his memory.

TWR

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I don't understand. TWR

Shut the fuck up, Hill. I know that because the Krips page gave you the closest thing to positive feedback you ever have or ever will receive on the piece of shit you decided to slob over to Geocities you think there was some implied invitation to talk about it here, but the truth is, fuck you.

And in this particular case, it's not even that the game in question is a complete pile of dogshit and ineptly, laughably slapped together in a poor pantomime of "design" and "programming" -- it's that the retard who hurled his slopped together mess at the scene in large arranged himself to come off as one of the most annoying guys in Usenet. Nobody cares if you make a crap game. And Jesus Christ, did you. Some miserable games even eventually get revered -- I could talk about Space Aliens Laughed At My Cardigan at length, for instance, and that is a game that is usually considered to be poor.

But in your case? The real crime is how totally unfunny you've been in the four or five months you've been so transparently and desperately trying to make a name for yourself. Nothing that your pea-sized monkey brain can come up with is remotely original, clever, biting, particularly cruel, amusing or really worthy of note. To paraphrase Dr. Evil, you're the Diet Fucking Coke of Usenet Trolls. I can't choose between "disgusting" or "sad" as to the best description of your "antics," though -- you're obviously totally obsessed with the community and it was also flat-out obvious that there was no way you would ever, ever make a meaningful contribution to it. Bruce briefly referenced a "heh" to that "groin loiterer" comment and you've plopped it into three or four of your few dozen shit-ramblings in a desperate attempt to cry, "Look! Look at me -- I said something that was mildly funny once! I'm talented, too! Oh, fuck you! Fuck you all!!" Seriously, you're able to handle yourself about as well as a thirteen year old girl getting her first period on a Drama Club camping trip.


And you're no doubt just steaming at the "successes" enjoyed by a few of the more well-known members of the modern day IF scene and, having resigned yourself about 95% of the way (I mean, you still did release that fucking code-fetus to the world) to the fact that you'll never be worth a good goddamn within it, you had attempted to seek out the "easiest" targets you could perceive and rail on them. The reason most of your inane dribblings are against women is that -- even in your 100%, completely anonymous 'Civil War General Persona' -- you're still too much of a fucking pussy to call someone out whom you suspect might be willing to respond with equal (well, superior, really) rancor.

That's fucking pathetic.

Hey, maybe after writing that post to Papillion that you're apparently so proud of you felt the need to post a response to yourself proclaiming it as one of the Comedy Ten Commandments you could write a scathing, edgy mail to Dani Fucking Buten or somebody, Hill -- not only was she a girl, but she's also fucking dead, so there's even less chance that you'll get a response you're in no way prepared to even remotely respond to!

You're the fucking man now, dog!

[Protagonist X]

Whoah. Yowch. I mean, I've been quietly following Robb's prose on the web and in his games for.. wow, well over two years now... and I've seen him rip into all sorts of subjects like a rabid pit bull with a gift for the acid pen. And I've been laughing like a loon much of the time: one of the great misanthropic pleasures in life is watching a skilled wordsmith give someone or something the verbal beatdown they've so richly deserved.

This, though, has the look of truly serious vitriol. Is there a Sherwinism/artfully improvised slang (e.g. "assjack") for a flame of this intensity?

I've been lurking here frequently, despite not logging in and posting for over 6 weeks. The reason for such timidity is simple: pretty much everyone else here seems to know each other. As the guy who has to get some of the in jokes through context, I'm hypersensitive about exposing myself as the clueless outsider I am.

And now, even though I'm worried I'll be caught in the crossfire of sheer rage that this subject seems to have provoked, I've gotta ask on behalf of all the other newbies who might be lurking the same way: "What the fuck was all that about, man?"

Postscript: I found one review in Trotting Krips, but the link to Geocities gave me nada. Now Googling as I should have done earlier.

Post-postscript: I seem to remember reading about some really, really bad IF game a while back, say around Christmas. One that was so awful I was piqued to get it and see if it built my confidence enough to get me to try actually writing one (you know, the "shit, even if it sucks it still won't be as bad as _______" school of self-improvement). But the reviews all had some sort of nightmarish intensity to them, like the hackneyd slow-mo of someone screaming NOOOOOOOOOOO as they try, too late, to stop the Disaster from occurring. Reviews so bad they seemed to implicitly advocate tearing out one's eyes to avoid the sight of the IF should one walk into the presence of that foul text. Was this it? No, wait, I think that one was "Kallisti." Which I didn't play either.

P.P.P.S. -- Okay, I'm going to find Amissville and download it in the hopes of understanding a bit better, but if someone wants to take pity on a noob and append some sort of explanatory post on this thread, please don't hesitate. If it's really so bad that it makes me feel soiled and corrupted beyond any hope of redemtion, I'll commit seppuku in a ritual to cleanse my tarnished honor in blood.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Hill wrote this message last week to the rec.arts.int-fiction newsgroup. He then followed up his own message with this one. He also posted as "Trent" there.

[Lex]

Y'see, Mr. X, no matter how bad the game is; Hill himself is the most foul lurker R*IF has ever had.



He's also a foreigner.

[Protagonist X]

Many thanks for the heads-up, gentlemen. It makes much more sense, now. Hill does rather sound like the sort of asshole who needs a magnesium-intensity flame to instruct him in a few points on simple decency.

It's a phenomenon that so many before I have remarked on: that in the absence of face-to-face contact -- or even the tone of voice that a telephone can convey -- people will behave in ways that they'd never behave in Real Life. Like "Hill," here, or all those dickweeds who ruin Counterstrike with cheat scripts. Behaviour of this sort is discouraged in the real world, usually by the fear of waffle-tread boots leaving an imprint on shins/faces/genitalia.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

He's also a foreigner.

?? He resolved to something that had wny in it, which I took to mean "Western New York." What do you know that the lot of us don't?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

... or all those dickweeds who ruin Counterstrike with cheat scripts. Behaviour of this sort is discouraged in the real world, usually by the fear of waffle-tread boots leaving an imprint on shins/faces/genitalia.

CounterStrike cheaters at least have the fact that they added the word "wallhack" to the vernacular going for them. Actually, maybe the cheaters didn't add that word, as much as those who hate them. Yes, that's probably it.

The thing is, while I'd love to be able to shout "OMG! WALLHACK!" at any given time in real life, there's really no way to say "OMG!" "Oh my God" really doesn't cut it. So unfortunately, while Will Smith was able to get the word "jiggy" added to the dictionary, "wallhack" may never be... it's really quite a sad turn of events.



Addition: someone's developing a new graphics card with "wallhacking" built in. I'll see if I can find the link on that.

[Protagonist X]

...while I'd love to be able to shout "OMG! WALLHACK!" at any given time in real life...

This is the kind of thing I was talking about when I asked if there was a CDJ-style colloquialism for a really, really intense flaming. In the comp review that wound up leading me to CDJ, I believe the redoubtable Adam Cadre defined it as something like "too-cool-for-school, fifteen minutes into the future slang." Is there a compendium somewhere for this?

I can only hope that the "wallhacking" change of title on this thread indicates a rich and heady influx of delicious homebrew slang. I crave more. More, dammit.

As an aside, under what circumstances would one scream out "WALLHACK!" in real life? Nuance, for Shigeru's sake, NUANCE. I'm thinking of the whole Florida ballot thing in the last presidential election. E.g.: "Dude, his dad called in favors on the Supreme Court, his brother was the governor, and the other guy won the popular election by a half-a-million votes. No question, Bush jr. pulled a fucking wallhack on the electoral system. No skillz politician l4mer."

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

E.g.: "Dude, his dad called in favors on the Supreme Court, his brother was the governor, and the other guy won the popular election by a half-a-million votes. No question, Bush jr. pulled a fucking wallhack on the electoral system. No skillz politician l4mer."

Ah-ha-ha! Yes... yes!

It's tough to find places to use it though. At first I thought it'd be opportune for those times when someone gets so mad that they punch the wall, but I'm not sure. (I was cooking tonight for the first time in several months, and bumped my glasses onto... argh, what are those round, swirly things called that you put a pot on top of, to make the contents of said pot boil? A boiler? I can't remember. Anyway, the glasses touched one of those for a split-second, but it was enough to slightly melt the right lens. If I were a wall-punching guy, that would have been the time... but I can't see my mood being improved if "WALLHACK!" was then shouted.)

Talk show host Jim Rome had a great one recently -- a newly drafted Green Bay Packer got drunk and took a crap in the middle of the night, in a closet of a random girl at a Florida college. Rather than use the term "taking a crap," though, he used the term "taking a growler." That's got potential.

[Guest]

Rather than use the term "taking a crap," though, he used the term "taking a growler." That's got potential.

Much as I like that, it still seems a little raw, a little in need of refinement. How about "leaving a growler?" At the risk of going off into a George-Carlinesque rant on stupid English pronouns, doesn't it seem odd to refer to "taking" a crap when one actually intends to leave one?

To leave a growler... "he's in the middle of leaving a growler..." Sounds alright to me.

Further comment is most eagerly solicited on this and other postings.

[Lex]

Robb wears glasses.