Jolt Country

Another night has come to a close. We certainly got an opportunity to hear from some of the more... colorful... members of this little Jolt Country Action Party.

On that note, just wanted to say: you're all banned. Any and all posts everyone sees from here on out are from me. I am my own figment of my own imagination.

I love you all dearly. That's why I am killing you all so softly like this.

Is it a motion-sensor deathbomb? A weight sensor? Carbon dioxide sensor, like mosquitos? Sound sensitive? Or, just a very slow death orchestrated by what God gave you? (Harlan Ellison references should score me a few more minutes of life, here).

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:On that note, just wanted to say: you're all banned. Any and all posts everyone sees from here on out are from me. I am my own figment of my own imagination.

Hah! I knew it! I knew your so-called "sex partner" could only exist in your mind!

j/s/toker wrote:Hah! I knew it! I knew your so-called "sex partner" could only exist in your mind!

Hey, I've got a few days left before she moves in, sugartits. I *know* you're the type to live in flyover country, so this might be your big chance to get some triple-team Jonsey, Souffle and Milkunits action before the team goes their separate ways. Surely that's a lot better than the TV Guide Word Jumble you have planned for the big weekend, yes/no?

I prefer "comes to stay with me for awhile" to "moves in", but, in the likely event that your little quatre-a-quatre does occur, just remember: the backdoor is mine, boys.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Hey, I've got a few days left before she moves in, sugartits. I *know* you're the type to live in flyover country, so this might be your big chance

Hey, y'know, that's really tempting. See, that way, if I'm one day taken hostage by terrorists who proceed to cut off and mail my digits one by one to the authorities as a way of sending a message to the Evil Imperialists, I can say to myself "Y'know, toker old gal, on the up side this still isn't nearly as bad as the time you had Robb Sherwin's tongue buried deep in your colon." So, yeah, it'd have that going for it. But I think I can manage going my whole life without flying fifth class on "Death Trap Airlines" to see the Abyss of Ultimate Misery you call home.

to get some triple-team Jonsey, Souffle and Milkunits action before the team goes their separate ways

Wow, so that's two things I've got in common with Vitriola: Neither of us really exist, and yet we're both too much woman for you to handle without outside aid. Remarkable, Captain.

Hey, why am I getting transparent?

Does nobody...BELIEVE...in me anymore?

j/s/toker wrote:"Y'know, toker old gal, on the up side this still isn't nearly as bad as the time you had Robb Sherwin's tongue buried deep in your colon."

No, no. I get the head.

(Not for the mouth, but for the eye sockets or the nasal passageways.)

But I think I can manage going my whole life without flying fifth class on "Death Trap Airlines" to see the Abyss of Ultimate Misery you call home.

Did you hear why I refuse to buy a couch?

Wow, so that's two things I've got in common with Vitriola: Neither of us really exist, and yet we're both too much woman for you to handle without outside aid. Remarkable, Captain.

I don't think that an electric whip, set of anal beads, tube of KY jelly, nipple clamps, longneck "Zima" bottle, Olympus Digital Camera, pneumatic crane, shipping popcorn, popcorn, collapsable baton, crate of bananas, Louisville Slugger, roll of duct tape, bottle of chloroform, Timex "It Takes a Licking but Keeps On Ticking" analog watch, tripod, Safeway Brand "Safeway" Discount Vodka, Nepalese flag and shortish angry German man shouting commands and tactics necessarily counts as "outside aid."

Also: Cunt.

Vitriola wrote:just remember: the backdoor is mine, boys.

Alright, that's it. Pic?

Also, last message... Best Of!!!

Vitriola wrote:Hey, why am I getting transparent?

Does nobody...BELIEVE...in me anymore?

Oh no! C'mon kids, we've got to save her! Clap your hands if you believe in Vitriola!

Vitriola wrote: just remember: the backdoor is mine, boys.

Heh Heh, you said BACKDOOR. Backdoor is pretty cool.